Question about adopting from foster care

jenbabe

We will be finalizing our adoption with our first in about a month (domestic infant).  Although we are overall happy with the process this first time around we are thinking about going a different route for our second.  We are not planning on pursuing anything too soon but we definitely want J to have at least one sibling.  But here's our problems...1.) we can't afford to adopt again 2.) our agency placed us with very little wait time but we're frustrated with how arrogant and manipulative the social workers are and we were disappointed in how they treat the birthparents so we may find a different agency even if the wait time is longer  3.) I've always loved babies and I've heard the second is easier but I think I'm okay with adopting an older child now

So here are my questions..... Do we need to work with an agency to adopt a child from foster care or can we just work with our local social services office and a lawyer?  Do we need to be licensed as foster care or just a home study?  Is it true that the adopting an older child costs practically nothing? 

Please educate me and share any other info about adopting from foster care you think I should know.

DaisyZH

I think a lot depends on how your area does things locally, it seems like there is a lot of variation between states.  In our area you can work with an agency or directly with DSS.  The agencies are supposed to only charge you a "nominal" fee - I'm not actually sure what that would be since so far all of the agencies that DSS listed as voluntary agencies have told me they are not in fact agencies that work with foster care.  DSS does not charge for adoption fees in our state, but it suggests we may have legal fees for finalization - I'm not entirely clear on that part.

I would try your state website to get more information.  In our state I think you do have to be licensed for foster care since the actual adoption part of it doesn't come until several months after the child has been placed in your home. 

Also, you can choose to foster-to-adopt or adopt a waiting child.  A waiting child's parental rights have been terminated and are available to adopt (in most cases - again, so much varies by state) and in foster-to-adopt you are a foster parent that may eventually adopt the child if the parental rights are terminated. 

Also as PP said if you are a foster parent you will receive a stipend but it very often doesn't cover all of the costs of caring for a child so while you won't have huge agency fees like domestic you would want to take into consideration the extra expense of feeding/clothing/activities etc. for a second child. 

CaptainSerious

I don't have much to add, but do want to caution you about seriously considering the reasons for not adopting/fostering out of birth order.  I believe preserving birth order in adoption is a much bigger concern than it initially appears in many cases, especially in fostering.

 

Adoption/foster professionals often cite jealousy and the child's understanding of how they fit into the home as a reason for preserving birth order, but there's a much bigger side to it that they often choose not to discuss when not relaying the circumstances surrounding a specific child.  Many older children who are in foster care have experienced trauma in their lives.  This could be as simple as losing caregivers through death, but more often means witnessing or being the victim of abuse, neglect, or other violent behavior.  Children who have suffered these types of trauma often act out those types of behaviors on younger children around them.  This can happen even if they are getting all the emotional and psychological help they need; it's often part of their process as they learn to cope with what happened to them/what they witnessed.  So in the minds of many adoption professionals, placing an older child, who may have had a turbulent past, in a home with young children is not ideal in most situations.

Courtneyluff

I would also like to add that the ultimate goal of foster care is reunification, and I have heard so many stories of families looking to adopt, being told a child was "pre-adoptive" and having that child reunified.

 

I'm sure you already know that, I just wanted to add something for you to think about.

mommytoconnor

I adopted from foster care.  You have to understand that the point of foster care is re-unification with birth parents.  Only if that is not possible would that child be placed for adoption.  If you are wanting to straight out adopt, then foster care is not the route to go.  You could have a child placed with you and as a foster parent you have to work towards getting that child re-unified with his/her parents.  There is a term called fost-adopt.  This is where you are a foster parent and if that child that you are placed with happens to not be able to be reunited with parents then you would be able to adopt.  However, in most fostering cases, even if you aren't certified to adopt but are for fostering, the foster parents are typically offered the first option of adopting.  To answer your other question, you can work directly with your social service department.  You will have to go thru classes, have an extensive homestudy, background check, fingerprints, etc done before you get certified for foster care.  This is a lengthy process.  Depending on where you live, it can take from 6 months upward of a year. I believe  the pricing is different depending on where you live, so I can't quote on that, but the actual fees are nominal if you compare to a private domestic adoption. It's a roller coaster and is definately not for those people who aren't sure they want to do this, but it can be well worth it.

CaptainSerious

While it is true that in fostering the goal is reunification, there is also the possibility of adopting a child whose parental rights have been terminated from foster care.  The children who are waiting and eligible for adoption through the foster care system tend to be the more difficult to place children, who often have severe health or mental concerns and/or extreme behaviors and/or circumstances.

elissaann26

This discussion hits on some other foster-to-adopt questions/issues and could be worth the read. 

https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/68419990.aspx

I think other posters have answered your initial questions, but if you have more feel free to ask!

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