DH Vent

kmhb2010

Okay...so long story short...or as short as I can make it. We are moving to my home state of WI. Actually, DS and I have been here since the middle of August. DH is still in TN because he is working the rest of the month and had to close on our house that we sold yesterday. Before we left we (us and my parents) packed up 95% of our house. I have taken care of everything else...I signed and faxed and emailed all paperwork pertaining to the sale. I responded to all emails. I called to cancel all utilities. I have paid all the bills, all while starting a new school year in a new classroom, in a new school and state, and taking care of DS.

Now, I'm not complaining because I'm thrilled we have moved and that our house sold in 3 days, but my problem is that DH was asked to do 3 tasks...1 - move the rest of the stuff out of our house into the storage unit by noon tomorrow, 2 - find people to help and move the stuff from storage to the truck for the company who will be driving our stuff this coming Friday, and 3 - call to cancel the homeowners insurance.

Well, #3 hasn't been done. He has not yet asked 1 person to help him move the stuff from storage to the truck on Friday. This is a hard day to begin with, but we have enough friends who can help with advance planning. Oh, and today he calls me complaining that he doesn't have enough people to move the washer and dryer out, and he's not sure how he'll get it out, but he'll take care of it. Mind you, he started making phone calls tonight at 7pm asking for help.

Please tell me I'm not crazy for being frustrated?! I love him but he is so bad at planning, and I needed him to step up this time - mainly because he should and also because I'm not even in the state - and I feel like once again he hasn't. I was on the phone with a friend tonight trying to see if her husband could help and I don't think it should have been my responsibility. I don't mind helping, but I can't do it all. 

pinkshades05

Aww, some guys are like this. You are the planner/organizer of the relationship and you've played your role very well. Don't give him too hard of a time; he's use to depending on you to organize so it's probably not entirely on his radar. At least this experience will make him appreciate you even more!

kristin172429

First, that sucks and he should have stepped up.  It ticks me off when that stuff happens.

Second, you set the dynamic, take care of things when he doesn't, and he learns that when he doesn't do stuff, you fix it.  Get through this move and then start putting more things on him.  Start with things that aren't earth-shattering if they don't happen, but there is definitely a repercussion (preferably not legal or heavily financial).  Start making him more accountable for things and maybe he will learn.  Keep cleaning up his messes and he'll keep making them.

frasey

we're in kind of a similar situation - We're moving in 2 weeks, and Ive done all the same things you have, while DH has done almost nothing. 

Youre in Wi and he's in TN? I would say "not my problem - its his!" since there's nothing you can really do. Let him sweat and take care of it. Then maybe he'll appreciate all the things you have done?