Maternity leave registry? — The Bump
April 2013 Moms

Maternity leave registry?

Has anyone thought of doing a maternity leave registry instead of a gift registry? Sort of like when couples do a honeymoon registry. I would rather be able to stay home the full 12 weeks and buy the things baby needs myself. Not too mention we live very far from home so people would be getting us gift cards any how. If you have thought of it do you know any good sites?
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Re: Maternity leave registry?

  • I'm not familiar with this concept - you want people to contribute cash to your daily living expenses so you can afford to stay home longer on maternity leave instead of buying baby stuff?

    If you can afford to buy your own baby stuff (as you said above), why not just use those funds to save to cover your own living expenses for a longer leave?

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  • If PP is right about what a maternity leave registry is, I'm not a fan of the idea. Personally I would still buy a gift in that instance.

    Maybe just plan on getting only baby necessities at first, so you can save the money for a longer leave. Lots of stuff you don't need for a few months, if at all. There is so much excess convenience items that people say are must haves, but stuff around your house works just as well. Also, look around for good deals and even used stuff. If you have your registry done for Christmas, people might get things off there for you.
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  • My leave will cost more than supplies for baby. To me, the time I would get with my family is far more precious than for example some baby clothes that LO will only be able to wear for a short period of time.
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  • To me, asking for money in almost any situation is really tacky. If you can't afford to take maternity leave, that's on you. Your family and friends are not responsible for you being able to take time off work.
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  • imageyellowlove24:
    To me, asking for money in almost any situation is really tacky. If you can't afford to take maternity leave, that's on you. Your family and friends are not responsible for you being able to take time off work.

    I agree. There's no PC way to ask for this, imo. What I would do is save money from your tax returns this year (if you get a return) and put that in your savings to cover maternity leave.

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  • With my last dd we spread the word through family and friends that we had all the baby "stuff" we could use and said that in lieu of gifts meals, or diapers would be appreciated. 

    We held a Dads Diaper Derby instead of baby shower and it was a couples/family BBQ. We ended up with nearly 6 months of diapers and wipes, and 3 freezers of frozen meals along with gift cards for restaurants. 

    It was great.   Maybe something like that would help. Diapers are the big expense anyway during those early months.  And I won't lie... Not having to cook was a godsend. 

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  • imagetcfreedom:

    We held a Dads Diaper Derby instead of baby shower and it was a couples/family BBQ. We ended up with nearly 6 months of diapers and wipes, and 3 freezers of frozen meals along with gift cards for restaurants. 

    That sounds fun! What is it? 

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  • imagetcfreedom:

    With my last dd we spread the word through family and friends that we had all the baby "stuff" we could use and said that in lieu of gifts meals, or diapers would be appreciated. 

    We held a Dads Diaper Derby instead of baby shower and it was a couples/family BBQ. We ended up with nearly 6 months of diapers and wipes, and 3 freezers of frozen meals along with gift cards for restaurants. 

    It was great.   Maybe something like that would help. Diapers are the big expense anyway during those early months.  And I won't lie... Not having to cook was a godsend. 

    My family does this! We have family baby showers where the whole extended family gets together. We usually BBQ and have a poker or pool tournament where the entry "fee" is a pack of diapers.  The new mom makes out like a bandit in diapers. I don't think my sister had to buy diapers for almost a year when she had her daughter. 

  • yaaaaa... this wont end well lol I have NEVER heard of such a thing and I could never do it myself, personally.
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  • imageletranger:

    this is super tacky imo. and would not fly where i live on the east coast. 

     if you can afford to buy the baby stuff on your own use that for you maternity leave. 

    This made me LOL because I live on the east coast. Granted Almost every person we would invite to a shower or that would want to get us a gift lives in the mid west.I see how it could be conceived as tacky but the concept of wanting to spend time with your family over wanting stuff for your family is in no way tacky to me. :0) I may have to re think this idea regardless. 

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  • imageSprinkles07:
    imageletranger:

    this is super tacky imo. and would not fly where i live on the east coast. 

     if you can afford to buy the baby stuff on your own use that for you maternity leave. 

    This made me LOL because I live on the east coast. Granted Almost every person we would invite to a shower or that would want to get us a gift lives in the mid west.I see how it could be conceived as tacky but the concept of wanting to spend time with your family over wanting stuff for your family is in no way tacky to me. :0) I may have to re think this idea regardless. 

     

    i totally understand where you're coming from, but the thing is, it's a little different than a wedding or honeymoon registry. 

    when it comes to weddings, 9/10, guests are most likely to give the couple money. when it comes to babies, ppl usually give them baby items, or pre-cooked frozen meals. when it comes to asking ppl to give you money towards taking time off from work longer than 12 weeks, it just doesn't make sense. How would you even word this? would you send out a letter? how would you let ppl know?

     

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  • A Diaper Derby is a family oriented, less foo foo type of shower. Nix the Girly stuff, host a BBQ, and pass the word via the hostess/host that instead of gifts the couple requests diapers in various sizes.
    We had a game where the kids in attendance ate a jar of baby food as fast as possible apple sauce type and the winner got a candy lei. The dads competed for gourmet BBQ sauce by seeing who could chug down a baby bottle full of beer first. Watching grown men suck on the nipples till their face turned pink was a riot!
    Everyone signed an 8x10 white photo matte with wishes for baby and I put her first photo in it hanging in the nursery when she arrived.
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  • imageletranger:

    this is super tacky imo. and would not fly where i live on the east coast. 

     if you can afford to buy the baby stuff on your own use that for you maternity leave. 

    This. Sorry. This wouldn't fly where I am from either. It would get a major side-eye. I think when people are giving you things, you can't really tell them how to spend their money. If they would like to buy things off of your registry, awesome. If they decide to buy you an orange and lime green sleeper, that is their choice.

    I would start pinching pennies now. You have months to save for maternity leave. Get rid of extras and focus on saving for a longer time at home.
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  • I agree with PPs, that sounds tacky to me and I personally would not partake in it.  I don't like it when people do the Honeymoon registry thing either.  IDK... it just rubs me the wrong way.  Even if people would likely only get you gift cards anyway, then you'll have those to buy the baby stuff with and can save your money for your leave. 

    There are a LOT of ways to save money on baby things too (as some PPs have mentioned).  Buy gently used (check craigslist, consignment shops and large consignment sales, hand-me-downs) and eliminate things you don't really need.  I remember all of the things I had for DS that went completely unused or used a few times and then either given away or consigned myself at our local semi-annual sale.  Pretty much everything but a car seat and bottles can be purchased used. 

    Another HUGE way to save some money is to use cloth diapers. I've spent about $700 total diapering my son who is almost 3 years old.  We do cloth at home and use disposables 2-3 days a week at daycare and for vacations and longer day trips.  About $500 is the cloth diapering cost, so I'm only anticipating spending around $200 total in diapers for this baby, since I still have the cloth diapers from DS that are still totally usable for #2. 

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  • Dictating the gift that people should give you is super tacky.
  • imageRussianMommy:

    i totally understand where you're coming from, but the thing is, it's a little different than a wedding or honeymoon registry. 

    when it comes to weddings, 9/10, guests are most likely to give the couple money. when it comes to babies, ppl usually give them baby items, or pre-cooked frozen meals. 

      


    This. Showers tend to be for gifts you can unwrap.  Wedding ceremony gifts tend to be money.  You can definitely put practical things on your registry (diapers/diaper service, wipes, bath lotion, diaper cream, nursery furnishing, etc) also register for gift cards to get things you'll need further down the road, but I don't think people would want to just give you money.  I think the only way money could be appropriate would be if you started a bank account for the baby's college fund (I've seen people do that for a baptism or first birthday) but that isn't really meant for parents to use immediately.

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  • imageSprinkles07:
    Has anyone thought of doing a maternity leave registry instead of a gift registry? Sort of like when couples do a honeymoon registry. I would rather be able to stay home the full 12 weeks and buy the things baby needs myself. Not too mention we live very far from home so people would be getting us gift cards any how. If you have thought of it do you know any good sites?

     Definitely not.  This is way too tacky and very poor etiquette.  Managing your finances is a choice you make and that choice will determine how/if you extend your maternity leave.  I think it's in poor taste to ask people to contribute to that.

    Have you thought of registering on Amazon.com?  People could have the gifts shipped directly to your house and many items are free shipping if over $25.  Part of the appeal of a baby shower is being able to give cute baby presents. 

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  • This would never fly where I from, and it is always rude to flat out ask for cash for any sort of gift.  I agree with some people that doing some sort of diaper party would be much better or register places where you can easily do returns.  

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  • imageSprinkles07:
    imageletranger:

    this is super tacky imo. and would not fly where i live on the east coast. 

     if you can afford to buy the baby stuff on your own use that for you maternity leave. 

    This made me LOL because I live on the east coast. Granted Almost every person we would invite to a shower or that would want to get us a gift lives in the mid west.I see how it could be conceived as tacky but the concept of wanting to spend time with your family over wanting stuff for your family is in no way tacky to me. :0) I may have to re think this idea regardless. 

     

    I'm sorry the whole Idea is tacky. I was born and raise in the Mid-West. It totally wouldn't fly in my neck of the woods.  Save the money yourself. If being with your family is so important you'll find away to do it on your own. 

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  • I agree, it's super tacky. I would probably ignore a request for cash and buy a gift. I also agree that the time spent with your new baby is important, but that is the responsibiltiy of you and your husband, not baby shower guests. I also think people asking other people to pay for their honeymoon is tacky.
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  • Emily Post wept
    The word you're looking for is SEX.  I promise.  No, it's not gender.  It's sex.  You're welcome.
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