4 year old pretends to be pregnant and breastfeed

FairyDuster003

Hello! I'm visiting here because im just curious about your opinions on this situation. I'm pregnant with my first so I don't usually come to this board so excuse me if this has been discussed before!

My friend has 3 girls ages 4, 2, and 6 months. Her oldest had a friend that came over, stuffed her shirt and pretended to be pregnant. The two girls then pretended to breast feed by holding the doll to their covered chest. Both of these girls are the oldest siblings and watched their mom breast feed. Well she freaked out and told her its not appropriate and doesn't want the friend over any more!! I disagree!

Any opinions or experience with this?? I don't understand why it's wrong!

NerdyMama2

I don't get how that's wrong. She's 4.

Angela814

My 6 yo still does this, except she holds the baby under her shirt to nurse. I don't think it's a big deal at all.

TiffanyBerry

Not a big deal. 

She's sexualizing the whole thing, probably.  Which is pretty silly, IMHO.

FairyDuster003

That's how I feel! But she said that she doesn't want her to think its ok for little girls to be pregnant. However if you provide a little girl a baby doll, what's the difference?? She is pretending to be a mommy. She saw her mommy get a big belly, have a baby, and feed her baby. Her main argument is that she may go out in public and talk about being pregnant or lift her shirt to "breast feed" and she's totally against it.

The worst part is she posted about it on Facebook and everyone agreed with her so I had to ask other moms!

Genevieve14

FairyDuster003:

That's how I feel! But she said that she doesn't want her to think its ok for little girls to be pregnant. However if you provide a little girl a baby doll, what's the difference?? She is pretending to be a mommy. She saw her mommy get a big belly, have a baby, and feed her baby. Her main argument is that she may go out in public and talk about being pregnant or lift her shirt to "breast feed" and she's totally against it. The worst part is she posted about it on Facebook and everyone agreed with her so I had to ask other moms!

 

This is ridiculous. By this logic, little kids should never play house or pretend to go rock climing either. Pretend is exactly that: PRETEND.   

Angela814

Genevieve14:

FairyDuster003:

That's how I feel! But she said that she doesn't want her to think its ok for little girls to be pregnant. However if you provide a little girl a baby doll, what's the difference?? She is pretending to be a mommy. She saw her mommy get a big belly, have a baby, and feed her baby. Her main argument is that she may go out in public and talk about being pregnant or lift her shirt to "breast feed" and she's totally against it. The worst part is she posted about it on Facebook and everyone agreed with her so I had to ask other moms!

 

This is ridiculous. By this logic, little kids should never play house or pretend to go rock climing either. Pretend is exactly that: PRETEND.   

I agree. Her logic makes no sense. I wouldn't be surprised if my 2 yo wants to "nurse" a baby in public while I nurse her baby brother or sister. I think it's cute and normal.

rnfromtn

Geez, I wonder what she would think of how my husband used to pretend to bf when he was 4 lol.  His mom was bf'ing at the time. 

Brewtowngrl

DS did that.  He would even put the nursing cover on to hold DS2.  He also had a baby to feed when I fed DS2.  I think it is normal.  

Lariah14

Totally normal at age 4, now if the kid was 14 it would be weird.

groovygrl

Ditto everyone else that is pretty odd. My 3 yr old DD talks regularly about wanting to be a mommy one day and has made comments about being pregnant and I think her lovey occasional gets stuffed in her shirt & pops out when she has her baby... I think it is cute.  It's not like kids know how you get pregnant so I can't understand why it would be inappropriate for a '4 yr old to be pregnant'. Bizarre... plus honestly I think it is a compliment, they're basically just wanting to be just like their mommy. It's sweet & I love when DD says, when I grow up I want to be a mommy like you mommy! (of course then I have to decide what to say to that to not insinuate that it is something all women should or can or will do..so I guess I overthink a 3 yr old too haha! I usually just say, that's great honey!)

Joeypnut

I find that very odd that your friend has such an issue with it.  It's totally normal.  As that other parent, if I found out she was so close minded and over reacting over such a situation I wouldn't want my child to be over at her house in the first place possibly making my child feel that something she innocently was pretending was in some way inappropriate. 

dragon_chica

Joeypnut:

I find that very odd that your friend has such an issue with it.  It's totally normal.  As that other parent, if I found out she was so close minded and over reacting over such a situation I wouldn't want my child to be over at her house in the first place possibly making my child feel that something she innocently was pretending was in some way inappropriate. 

This.  I get a kick out of my DD pretending to BF or taking her toothpaste holder that has two suction cups and saying she needs to go pump.  Mimicking their parents has absolutely zero to do with what the future holds for them.  it is a great indicator that they are observant and learning the roles that people can play in life (i.e.mommy breastfeeds baby.)  What your friend is doing is creating an environment that may cause the opposite.  A child that is so shielded by anything and everything and may act out due to curiosity or rebellion and just may end up a teen mom.

Heavncentt

OMG, she is 4! She is only mimicking what she sees her Mom do. It is not inappropriate at all. She is playing mommy with her dolly for cryin out loud. I am sorry but I think your friend is very wrong and over reacted. Sadly she probably made this poor little girl feel terrible and not understand why. 

sunnyday016

Ditto everyone else. Sounds like it's the mom with the major problem and I find her strong aversion to it kind of disturbing.