Prenatal Gender Selection

littlemac1117

https://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2012/09/sex_selection_in_babies_through_pgd_americans_are_paying_to_have_daughters_rather_than_sons_.single.html

This made me fee kindal sick and really sad. This woman always wanted a girl, but had three kids, all boys. She then spent like 40,000 to "buy" a girl. Obviously I don't know this woman, but I can't help but feel like that girl is the very obviously the favorite child.

I have zero issues with things like IVF that help people have children. I think the advances we have made in medicine are amazing, but I feel like this is taking advantage of those advances and it just seems so weird to me. I can't imagine needing to have a girl that badly (or a boy, if I already had girls.) I guess I am just really grateful that I have the ability to have babies in the first place.

Discuss?

 

ETA-had to fix some weird grammar

mom2pottamus

I saw a show on this and it was sad to see how desperate these women were to have girls.  They had spent so much money, effort, time and the drain on them was so obvious I thought psychologically there was no way they were prepared for not getting a girl. 

I don't support this because I feel it feeds into a psychological issue.  IVF absolutely, but not something this selective.

Then some weird part of me wondered if Victoria Beckham did something like this, and then I felt like a douche for wondering....

nanabanana06

I do find it kinda sad. However, you see lots of families who will keep having children until the desired sex. The best literary example of this is the Weasley's. I think that is all fine and dandy. I know DH would of either felt suffocated or pushed for more children if this one and the next were both girls. Sometimes sex is important to a family. I think it's a very old fashioned frame of mind.

littlemac1117

I just hope that their boys never see this article floating around on the internet. I would be really sad if I found out my mom cried when she found out I was a boy/girl.

Also, I agree that caring that much about whether your child is a specific sex is TOTALLY missing the point. Ugh.

littlemac1117

HilarityEnsued:

This doesn't bother me.  If someone wants to do this then that's fine.  I get having 3 boys and wanting a girl.  Honestly, if I had $40,000 to blow on this vanity mission, I might do it too (FFFC?)

I also don't know if it's logical to make the leap to her obviously being the favorite child.  There are just way too many factors. As the only girl with all brothers, and the youngest of 4, I'm sure there will be some different treatment, but I wouldn't automatically assume it's favoritism. 

The difference to me is that she didn't want boys. She wanted a girl and was heartbroken over having so many boys. That's why I mentioned possible favoritism.

EVA116

I want a boy very badly.

hmp1

I wouldn't do it, but I don't care if someone does and I don't see it as buying a child. My neighbor had 3 boys and just had her 4th, a girl. She really really wanted a girl and wasn't ashamed to talk about it. She even told me she cried when she found out her 3rd was a boy. She loves him so much and is a great mom to all her kids. I don't think the boys will feel like the girl is her favorite.

eta: I didn't read the article 

Libby1978

Ewwww.

"Simpson and her husband talked about getting an abortion, but she decided to continue with the pregnancy."

She considered aborting simply because she was having another boy.  Wow.  This whole article made me want to vomit.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

seahorse102410

I can't read this.  (because I don't want to not because there is something wrong with the link.)

EVA116

Libby1978:

Ewwww.

"Simpson and her husband talked about getting an abortion, but she decided to continue with the pregnancy."

She considered aborting simply because she was having another boy.  Wow.  This whole article made me want to vomit.

That is horrible...horrible

hannahbagels

I've always wanted a girl [i have 2 boys]. I started looking at ingender and gender swaying and decided I'd love a 3rd boy just as much. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting a certain sex. it's when it's taken to extremes that it bothers me. 40k for a girl seems extreme to me. Having 7 kids to get a daughter [The Weasleys] is extreme to me if the parents had only initially planned on like 4..

hmp1

Libby1978:

Ewwww.

"Simpson and her husband talked about getting an abortion, but she decided to continue with the pregnancy."

She considered aborting simply because she was having another boy.  Wow.  This whole article made me want to vomit.

Ick. There is something seriously wrong with someone that would abort a child just because of the sex. 

Kitiara5512

car seat:

I think that people who have gender preference to this extreme are missing the point of parenting.  I think it's_sh!tty.

+1

insertclevername

GhostMonkey:

I am sure In-Gender would welcome her with open arms.

 

The article talks about how she joined a forum with women just like her.  I bet it was In-Gender.  Those bishes be seriously BSC.

kellymacc

I usually just lurk but . . .

As someone who has to do IVF in order to get pregnant at all, this is disturbing to me. The b*tch in me thinks this woman doesn't know how lucky she is to have had 3 babies (4 after the girl) at all.

littlemac1117

I just want to clarify, I don't think there is anything wrong with hoping for a certain sex. I would love to parent a girl one day. But if this second boy is it for me, or if I end up having a third boy, that will be amazing too.

All of my previous comments were just in reaction to the couple in that article or couples who are just as extreme as them. Considering abortion because you are having a boy when you want a girl is disgusting. I am still in awe of the fact that I've made children in the first place.

Libby1978

kellymacc:

I usually just lurk but . . .

As someone who has to do IVF in order to get pregnant at all, this is disturbing to me. The b*tch in me thinks this woman doesn't know how lucky she is to have had 3 babies (4 after the girl) at all.

Yes!!  I can imagine how this could bother someone that went through IVF.

GrayGhost13

Well, people can build their family anyway they like, I guess, but personally, I find it icky.

I feel sorry for all the expectations that are going to be on that lady's daughter. You know she's going to be dressed in head to toe pink and ruffles and trooped off to ballet lessons and mani-pedis and non-stop girls' days. God forbid, the poor kid want to wear jeans or play sports.

Libby1978

GrayGhost13:

Well, people can build their family anyway they like, I guess, but personally, I find it icky.

I feel sorry for all the expectations that are going to be on that lady's daughter. You know she's going to be dressed in head to toe pink and ruffles and trooped off to ballet lessons and mani-pedis and non-stop girls' days. God forbid, the poor kid want to wear jeans or play sports.

I thought about this too.  Her daughter might like sports more than dance or other "girly" activities.  She may be a "tomboy" and prefer playing with her 3 brothers to hanging out with her BSC mother.

JPinkman

I was shocked when I read the article this a.m.  I am hoping for a boy with #2, but if I have another girl, NBD.  I can't imagine deciding to abort.  Also, since we are done with 2, if #2 is a girl, we won't try again for a boy.  It is what it is.

I don't know anything more about this woman than what is set forth in the article, but it sounds like she probably has some kind of psychologial disorder that needs to be evaluated. 

schnappycat

I read the article and was as horrified as most of you, especially since I did IVF to even get my children.

However, did you read the comments? The subject of the article posted and clarified some of the things in the story. Apparently, the journalist took many liberties and things were taken out of context or incorrect. She explains herself more in the comments. I'm a little less judgey now. I guess it's her money and she has the right to do what she wants with it.  

And the irony is that her daughter IS a tomboy and won't wear anything frilly anyhow. Maybe that's karma biting her in the butt. 

Libby1978

schnappycat:

I read the article and was as horrified as most of you, especially since I did IVF to even get my children.

However, did you read the comments? The subject of the article posted and clarified some of the things in the story. Apparently, the journalist took many liberties and things were taken out of context or incorrect. She explains herself more in the comments. I'm a little less judgey now. I guess it's her money and she has the right to do what she wants with it.  

And the irony is that her daughter IS a tomboy and won't wear anything frilly anyhow. Maybe that's karma biting her in the butt. 

I haven't read the comments, but this is super funny to me.

littlemac1117

I get that maybe some of it was taken out of context (I'm going to go read the comments.)

But this quote is super weird to me. ?My husband and I stared at our daughter for that first year. She was worth every cent. Better than a new car, or a kitchen reno.? What a weird effing thing to say. 

I can't help it, I am judging this.

NerdyMama2

Wow. DH and I hoped for a girl after DS but we wouldn't pay 40,000 for one.

penguingrrl

I think it's incredibly selfish to purposefully get pregnant if you aren't open to having a baby of both sexes. Given the difficulty some people have conceiving or the difficulties some people go through with long NICU stays or a baby who doesn't come home, I can't sympathize with "oh poor me, I don't have a girl/boy" when you have a healthy baby.

FordFalcor

Libby1978:

Ewwww.
"Simpson and her husband talked about getting an abortion, but she decided to continue with the pregnancy."
She considered aborting simply because she was having another boy.nbsp; Wow.nbsp; This whole article made me want to vomit.[/
quote]

Double ewww. What horrible people to have those thoughts recorded so the internet can recall it later for their unwanted son to read. Sick.

Also, I ran into an acquaintance today who was with her DS. She was talking about wanting to TTC and said: " we're trying for a girl next time." Then, motioning to her son, said: "we were hoping this one would be a girl. I hope we can get twin girls next." [:]

You get a child. The end, people. Gahhhhhh.

quidditchcapn1120

There is a huge difference to me between anting the experience of raising children of both sexes, but it is another disgusting, revolting beast to think about aborting a purposefully conceived child in that journey. I personally would love the opportunity to parent a girl. If J had been a girl, I would be sitting here thinking how I would love to parent a boy. I get that part, but this lady is effed up. And then to blab your big mouth on the internet where your other children of the 'wrong' sex may see it someday is another measure of her shlttyness.

Wufroggy79

HilarityEnsued:

This doesn't bother me.  If someone wants to do this then that's fine.  I get having 3 boys and wanting a girl.  Honestly, if I had $40,000 to blow on this vanity mission, I might do it too (FFFC?)

I also don't know if it's logical to make the leap to her obviously being the favorite child.  There are just way too many factors. As the only girl with all brothers, and the youngest of 4, I'm sure there will be some different treatment, but I wouldn't automatically assume it's favoritism. 

I agree with all of this.  I heavily favored wanting a girl.  Would I treat a boy badly? No. Would I be happy I just had a baby period? Yes.  But if I had the money, and I really wanted a girl, well so be it.  Everything has a price.

LadyDelilah

Hate to be terribly bitchy but once you've buried a child you don't GAF what gender your next baby is. She needs a dose of perspective 

delg23

quidditchcapn1120:

There is a huge difference to me between anting the experience of raising children of both sexes, but it is another disgusting, revolting beast to think about aborting a purposefully conceived child in that journey. I personally would love the opportunity to parent a girl. If J had been a girl, I would be sitting here thinking how I would love to parent a boy. I get that part, but this lady is effed up. And then to blab your big mouth on the internet where your other children of the 'wrong' sex may see it someday is another measure of her shlttyness.

Yes this. If I had two girls I'd want a boy. I wish I could be a girl mom. But I wouldn't abort a child over gender. That is sick. And yes the internet blabbing is the *** icing on the cake.

New_MrsP

I always pictured myself with a daughter. DH and and decided before we ever started TTC that 2 was our limit. I had a strong feeling that J was a boy from day one, but with R I was sure it was a girl until the U/S.

To be honest, I was a little disappointed. I knew he was my last baby and that meant if never have a girl. I was so happy that he was well, and that James would have a little brother to play with, but a part of me needed to "mourn" for lack of a better word the fact that I would never have a daughter.

I'm totally over it, now that the reality of 2u2 has set in.

FWIW, I don't see anything wrong with the "sperm sorting" method they used that didn't work for them but I don't like the idea of creating multiple embryos and then cherrypicking the ones that are the acceptable sex.

PrincessFiona9

I think it's a horrible waste of resources. Can the remaining embryos be donated? IDK much about IVF, I'm just curious. I didn't read the article, just the comments on here and I'm pretty disgusted with this woman as well.