I think JkFranklin is right....My FFFC Needs it's Own Post

mrs+harlow

My friend suffered from anorexia nervosa- type II. She passed from multiple organ failure due to this disease. It was one of the reasons we had a falling out. While it was something we shared and bonded over, her behavior and place in her disease was not good for my own recovery. The whole thing was complicated. I did think to write her sister ( who I knew because she lived with her sister at the time), but things with her sister were complicated too. I initially wanted to write a letter to my friend and leave it at her grave. I can only find information regarding her wake on her sister's Facebook in a public post. The wake was, oddly enough, held only 10 minutes from my house. I am pretty sure that her body was cremated as I can find no obituary or interment service details. I searched " find a grave" but only her Social Security death certificate info. comes up. I started a letter to her sister and will send it with in the next couple of weeks.

This disease is horrible. With her, I witnessed it at it's very worst. The excessive food rituals. The obsession with eating. The exercising. The loneliness. The secrecy. The body image issues. The perfectionism. One night we were out at dinner indulging in our love for Mexican cuisine and margaritas. My friend had an awful look on her face and broke into tears. Her tooth had fallen off. It wasn't her tooth, but her veneer. All of her teeth had been replaced with veneers due to her purging. All that was left of her original teeth were decayed stumps that wouldn't even hold the veneer on anymore. I took her to a weekend dentist the next morning to get it fixed. Eating disorders kill. One in 100 women has an eating disorder. Given those statistics, I have no doubt that there are some on this board. I beg you - PLEASE SEEK HELP. Eating disorders are relentless and they kill.

My friend's biggest dream was to get married and be a Mother. She wanted many children. She would have been an INCREDIBLE Mom. She never got to realize that dream and how amazing it is because of this damn illness. If you are reading this and have an eating disorder, please hear my plea for you to get help.

The Medium ( Theresa Caputo) on the show said that my friend was standing there and says " I don't look sick , right?". She would say that to me all the time. I was just floored. She was so ill.

Also, I am an emotional wreck over this and all of the uprisings in Northern Africa and the Middle East. My brother goes to these areas often for work . He is supposed to leave in 2 weeks and I am beside myself in fear for his life. Seeing people post pictures of our Ambassador to Libya (  I don't agree with the posting of these photos) and hearing what happened to these 4 men has me a total wreck.

Sorry so long. I know most hate long posts. I tried to keep it as brief as possible. I'm just depressed over all of this senseless loss of life.

MsCat19

((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))) I am so sorry.

AmandaR204

im sorry about your friend..

IttyBittyBee

Omg huge hugs to you.

jacka02

Daniellemf1228

I am so sorry.

EmmieB1025

Hugs to you!  You are dealing with so much, but please don't feel any guilt about your friend.  I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

BelleWithABlade

I'm so sorry  I think a lot of people really underestimate the danger of eating disorders in this country.  They truly are scary.

AshleyDG83

Big hugs to you and so sorry for the loss of your friend.

Ximena M

((HUGS)).  Just know that you had no part in your friend's death.  She was a troubled person and you were there.  I'm sure that she would not want you to feel bad about her choices. 

Because of what you wrote I will be reconsidering reconnecting with a friend that I had a big blow out fight.  We were so close she was going to make me her baby's guardian.  I sometime feel really sad.  We were both wrong and I know it. 

huahualove

I'm so sorry, I just read your FFFC and now this. Before you even mentions her eating disorder here I thought of a best friend of mine, an ex best friend. We were so close, like sole mates- just on a friendship level. Now that I read this, we actual stopped talking because I was trying to get her help for her ED and she wouldn't have it. It makes me so sad. I look for her on fb all the time hoping she'll be on there. I miss our friendship so much. Your story makes me want to try harder to find her, and I think I will now. I'm so sorry you are going through this without any closure at all. Hugs to you!

adrianacastro08

I'm sorry that you are going through this. Don't beat yourself up over this. I'm sure you know the most challenging aspects of treating this disorder are the unrealistic view of ones body, and the denial of a problem. There was likely little that would have changed these long standing thought distortions. Don't feel badly about losing contact. You had to do what was best for you, and your recovery. I hope you and her family are able to find peace, and find some comfort in that she is no longer suffering. Hugs

ChelseyB5186

I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.  Big ((HUGS)).

I lost my cousin 2 years ago to the disease.  She fought it for almost 15 years.  I don't remember what she was like before it, and that's all I remember of her, and it's really hard.  I can't relate to having the disease, but I do know what it's like to watch someone you love suffer and ultimately pass away from it.

I'll be thinking of you and your friend. 

katieh1017

I'm so sorry, sending big hugs. 

babybug11

Sorry for your loss and all you are going through... Big ((HUGS))

AudreyB113

I am so sorry about your friend. Hugs!

metucker

I'm so sorry. 

mrs+harlow

Thanks ladies. I think it will just take some time.

 I hate, hate, hate that people lose their lives to diseases like this.

jenbelsan

Hugs, hugs, and more hugs..

KatFCo

I'm so sorry. My sister suffered from anorexia in high school. Fortunately, my mother got her some help before she was hospitalised, but it was a scary time.

Something people do not always realize is that there is often an underlying issue driving the disorder. I think many people just chalk it up to "vanity," someone wanting to be thin, when it is a realy disease.

I will definitely pray for you as you heal from this loss and for your brother's safety.

hass2001

I am so so sorry to hear about this. I just wanted to let you know that your post inspired me to reach out to a friend I believe is in trouble (not with an ED but with something else). She is a dear old friend and I am very worried. I hope she calls or texts me back...