Feel defeated. Please tell me it gets better

babesbabs

Hi Ladies, DS is almost 8 mos old. I lurk on this blog sometimes to see what I am in for you ladies seem really nice. Anyway, DS has never been one of those "easy" babies, I had bf issues, he's always been a super light sleeper (like 1 month old would wake up if I set him down after he fell asleep), hates his car seat, tends to be a little on the whiney side, still wakes up about once a night.. you get the idea! I currently give him his nap bottle and he falls asleep while eating it. I've tried to change our routine and all hell breaks loose. I eventually want to feed him, put him down awake, and he'll go to sleep. But lately I have just been feeling really down in the dumps that it will never get easier. I know that's a little extreme but I could use some encouragement from moms who have been through this phase and made it out alive lol

ladybugpjb

It gets better. I can't entirely relate, but I understand some of what you described. I gave up BFing and started EPing, because we had BF issues. We struggled with naps for a long time, and often relied on feeding him to sleep. We did a modified CIO when he was around 7 months, and that solved some of our issues. Reading Ferber's book helped me understand infant sleep in general, and gave me some hope that I wouldn't still be rocking DS to sleep when he was 16  

For the times when things get frustrating, I rely on the mommy friends I've made. We participate in a few different activities during the week, and that helps me keep sane.

(((Hugs)))

ElatedMom2B

Everyone has very good advice and it does get better.  I remember feeling this way with DD#1.  The first was so much harder (for me) than the second because it was all new and it certainly did not feel like it was going to ever get better.  I also suffered from PPD with #1 which made it even harder.  You feel like after a certain point they should be relying on you so much, but really they are still babies and need mommy for such much.  Once they are mobile and can communicate a little better, it does get easier.  As for getting up at night, LO still needs to - I found it easier to accept and and deal with once I realized that DD needed to still wake up and eat, then, at a year old it just stopped completely...then enter molar teething.  Its going to always be something, but it doesn't last long.  Just stay consistent - pick a routine and stick to it.  At least that is what has worked for us.

As for the sleep issues, I always remind myself that when they're teenagers, I'll never be able to get them out of bed!!  

Hang in there and make sure to do things for yourself!  So important.

dairygirl19

It does get better! Hang in there! I've been through my share of difficult kids.

My best advice is, "If it isn't broke, don't fix it."

Just because a baby book, the interwebz, someone else tells you what your LO should be doing doesn't mean you have to do it. You know your kid and you know what works for him. If you're all fairly happy and surviving the day for the most part, let it be. I always feel like there's this huge rush to push transitions and everything must be done now. The fact of the matter is kids grow into transitions on their own and in their own time. With difficult kids the more you push, the more they fight back.

No kid ever goes to college whining or falls asleep with a bottle.

Don't let someone else make you feel guilty, enjoy your son and do what works for you.

And FWIW, my kid is pretty easy, but she goes to bed with a sippy cup. It's all out war otherwise and it's not a battle I choose to fight. I fail to see the big deal in the grand scheme.

BeachM

I did not enjoy the first year.  I had an extremely colicky high maintenance baby who hated everything. 

The only thing that saved my sanity was sleep training.  If I had to deal with all day crying, I HAD to have a break during naps and I HAD to sleep 8 hours at night.  "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" and Dr. Ferber's books were my sleep bibles and it worked.  For as cranky as Finn was, sleep training went so easily for us.  Not every method works for everyone, but I highly encourage you to educate yourself and figure out a way to help your baby learn to sleep on his own.

Things got better for us once he started walking at 14.5 months and then just kept getting better and better.  Teething was hell for him, but thankfully we are done with that.

Hang in there! We started a music class when he was almost 10 months old and that was really great.

hkg80

It does get better!  I am a SAHM, and my daughter wouldn't take naps until she was 15 months old.  There were many days when my husband would come home and I would be in tears because I wouldn't have had a break all day.  We did sleep training for nights, but it didn't work at all for naps.  And if she did happen to nap, it usually wasn't more than 30 min (all day!)  Somehow, though, around 15 months (right after she started walking!) she started taking naps, and not only that, but she would go down without crying.  I thought it would never happen!  So hang in there!

 

simbaby

flip_flops:

I did not enjoy the first year.  I had an extremely colicky high maintenance baby who hated everything. 

The only thing that saved my sanity was sleep training.  If I had to deal with all day crying, I HAD to have a break during naps and I HAD to sleep 8 hours at night.  "Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child" and Dr. Ferber's books were my sleep bibles and it worked.  For as cranky as Finn was, sleep training went so easily for us.  Not every method works for everyone, but I highly encourage you to educate yourself and figure out a way to help your baby learn to sleep on his own.

All of this. It gets better. Ds is almost 15 months and he's a joy. The first year was tough. I told Dh if we have another one, we'll have to send it away the first year. I highly doubt we will have another. Hang in there mama, it really does get better.

countrymice06

Hang in there!  The second year of our DD's life was 29374938743247 times more enjoyable than the first.  She is literally delightful now.  The things she says crack me up. We were reading a book about animals the other day, and she saw a picture of a baby bat hanging upside down, and she said, "Oh no, Mommy, bat FALL!"  

All of this from my screaming, squalling baby that I once took to the doctor because she would. not. stop. screaming.  

It gets better.  I wouldn't have believed it when I was where you are, but it does. 

babesbabs

Thank you all so much! It's so nice to hear that it will get better. doesn't help things that now he has an ear infection poor little man.