Jealousy... :(

MyBeanieBaby

Needless to say my almost 2 year old has been mommy spoiled since birth.

I held her 24/7, we co slept, co bathed we did EVERYTHING together. She never learned to play by herself and so on.

So now that we have a second baby... it is traumatizing to her. I can see the jealousy in her eyes each time I pick baby up. Some times she will start screaming and crying blue murder if I pick baby up.

She often says no baby, or points to babies crib and says "baby night night" as if telling me to put baby away.

I'm not sure what to do. I get her to "help" me with baby like she'll try to bottle fed her, she'll hand me the wipes out of the container and so on.

She gives baby sissy kisses and hugs, unless she is in one of those moods.

We do things together. I manage to wear baby and take Alexa to the park, we go outside and play, we paint, play with chalk. I get my mom to watch little one for an hour so I can spend just her and I time. But nothing is working.

When I'm breastfeeding or pumping I try reading her books and things like that but nothing is working.

What did you gus do? Did you guys have jealousy issues in your home?

TIA

AlyssaRoseKeane

Do you live near family? You could reach out to someone and ask them to take the baby for an hour or 2 so that you can have some 1 on 1 time with your older daughter.

I'm lucky enough to have A LOT of family all within a half an hour of me, so I've looked into preschool Co-ops for my son and me to join together, and I think it'll be great to have a "big kid" activity for us to do just the 2 of us. 

etude de la vie

I would start reading book about being a big sister and maybe give her a baby doll to take care of. DD has serious separation anxiety and we read llama llama misses mama about a billion times and it really helped. We also talk and rehearse a lot...."mama is going to the doctor and you go play with grandma but mama come back" but you could do something similar with the baby. I find if I talk about what is happening or will happen she copes with situations easier. 

As for the doll, maybe you change the baby's diaper get a diaper for her and you change diapers "together" have her direct her attention on something else yet feeling like you are both doing it together.  I know they sell baby doll strollers,  doll infant car seats, doll everything. That helped DD before he came and she should be entering that stage soon. 

I still feel we don't get too much bonding time alone so I go cuddle with her in her bed after I out DS asleep. It helps and she feels like it is "her time" without her brother around. She gets very excited about going to bed too!  

bellelamb

We did a lot of prep before the baby was born, I started putting him to be awake instead of cuddling him to sleep, I started having him in the living room playing while I cooked and started really working on him sleeping alone. I think that helped but after lo was born I just empowered him to be a big brother, to help to play big boy things. Also when I bf baby my toddler sits with us, we watch tv or read. He was 18 months when the baby was born now 4 months later he loves the baby and plays with him and gets his binki, it's very cute.