Being called THE grandma by mistake?!?

staciegib

Hi I'm new to this board but I've been on 6-9months board a lot. Here's my problem and I'm just curious if any of you ladies have any advice. I'm 38 and my DS is 7 months. I was told I couldn't have children when I was 20. Over the years I came to accept that sadly. We was blessed with our precious son and I'm ecstatic! The problem- I've had a few people out in public that has said something about me being the grandma! I think I look my age and others have said the same. It just makes me feel bad sometimes. Its not uncommon for women my age to give birth. Lol. Has this happened to any of you all? Tia!

MT-Head

This hasn't happened to me (I am also 38), but I look a good bit younger than my age.

My husband, who is prematurely balding at 40 and opts to shave his head, was once called my father by a solicitor who came to our door.  My husband said we weren't interested in what he was selling and things were tight right now (our standard response) and the guy said something like, "I understand, with your daughter here, a single mom . . ."  Luckily, my husband didn't catch it and I only told him about it later.  I don't think he would have reacted well to it at all.

BrideBuddies

I do not look my age (45), but over Labor Day weekend we took C to an amusement park and when we were at the Mirror Maze house, some geezer told Charlie not to outrun his grandma.   I didn't say anything because the guy kind of disappeared in the maze.   But I was in a foul mood for a while.

FWIW, most of my high school friends (class was 63, which was very big for the day), are grandparents and have been so for a few years now.  One girl was a mom at 17, and her son had a kid at 18, so she's been a grandmother for 10 years now.

Sigh!

Sunidaze

BrideBuddies:

I do not look my age (45), but over Labor Day weekend we took C to an amusement park and when we were at the Mirror Maze house, some geezer told Charlie not to outrun his grandma.   I didn't say anything because the guy kind of disappeared in the maze.   But I was in a foul mood for a while.

FWIW, most of my high school friends (class was 63, which was very big for the day), are grandparents and have been so for a few years now.  One girl was a mom at 17, and her son had a kid at 18, so she's been a grandmother for 10 years now.

Sigh!

I had many classmates that had children our last two years of high school.  One of them (that I know of) is a grandmother - she was pregnant the same time as her mom when we were juniors...I think her oldest grandchild is around 4ish (she has I think three grandchildren now) and she is actually a little younger than me by a few months - I am currently 39.  I think I am actually more amazed that she is still married ot the same guy and happily so.

As a whole, I am not concerned about being mistaken for LOs grandmother.  Hasn't happened yet and I don't anticipate (I hope) it happening for a while.  DH is concerned about us being the 'older' parents once Stella is in school.  I sure there will be others our age and older and I can't change that.  But what I can do is make sure I keep myself in great shape and great health so while I may be older than many if not most of the moms, I will likely be in better shape and health than a lot of the younger ones.

Pesky

Oh, I was called my sister's mom (I am only 4 years older and actually look way younger than her by general consensus) by an innkeeper in Ireland.  When I was 26.  Yeah.  Stupid people are everywhere.  The wolves will get them eventually.

staciegib

Pesky:

Oh, I was called my sister's mom (I am only 4 years older and actually look way younger than her by general consensus) by an innkeeper in Ireland.  When I was 26.  Yeah.  Stupid people are everywhere.  The wolves will get them eventually.

.   .                                                                                                                                                                                                    Lol! I needed to hear that, thanks a bunch!

stever

MT-Head:

This hasn't happened to me (I am also 38), but I look a good bit younger than my age.

My husband, who is prematurely balding at 40 and opts to shave his head, was once called my father by a solicitor who came to our door.  My husband said we weren't interested in what he was selling and things were tight right now (our standard response) and the guy said something like, "I understand, with your daughter here, a single mom . . ."  Luckily, my husband didn't catch it and I only told him about it later.  I don't think he would have reacted well to it at all.

Your poor DH.

stever

Pesky:

Oh, I was called my sister's mom (I am only 4 years older and actually look way younger than her by general consensus) by an innkeeper in Ireland.  When I was 26.  Yeah.  Stupid people are everywhere.  The wolves will get them eventually.

Oof. That's rough.

And re the OP, I've never had that happen but, according to others, look 10 years younger than my 38 years.

GHBEA

Yes all the time when my older DDs are with me.  They are 21 and 18.  They just giggle at it and say "OMG mom did they seriously just say that?"

MesmrEwe

Yes, it happens, and it sucks!!!  It's bad enough that I was pregnant with DS at the time and was having issues with the first gray hairs of my life...  I mean, at least if you call Grandma "Mom", she'll feel younger, but when you call Mom "Grandma" yea - that's not as kind of a remark...

gimmietimmies

It hasn't happened to me. But older moms are the norm here, and I am so young in comparison to some of ds' friends parents (I'm 38 and they have at least 15 years on me). We still all get together, with their advanced age and all! MIL does get called mom occasionally though.

jlw2505

I have not had that happen to me and neither has my many, many friends who are around my age and also have young kids.  I think it is getting way more normal to see women become mom's later in their 30's and even into their early 40's.  I have always been told I look young for my age but I honestly don't think anyone would say anything to me about being my girls grandma even if I had some greys showing.  I have seen women at school pick up that I know are the mom's who look older to me (and some I know are older than I am at 41) and I would never just assume they are the grandma.  I think people are idiots and say things that they shouldn't all the time - same sort of comments that pregnant and new moms get all the time.  People just don't think before they speak.

anchiba

I am so sorry you had to go through that. I was also told on and off since puberty that I most probably couldn't get pregnant, but we ended up with a miracle baby too. And although I haven't been mistaken for a grandmother, my husband was mistaken for a grandfather ... by our *pediatrician* of all people! I was mortified. Thankfully DH wasn't there that day. I'm always scared that someone will openly call him grandpa one day.

DH is pretty easygoing about it, though, and sometimes makes jokes about how someone might think he's the grandpa. I don't know if I could handle it that easily.

One of the things I do when I get upset about this kind of thing is to stop and really think about what we've been through, and how we did have a child even though we were told it would be pretty much impossible. I always feel very proud of that, and you should be proud too! Revel in your later-in-life blessing ... I think at our age we've all earned the right to do just that!

staciegib

anchiba:

I am so sorry you had to go through that. I was also told on and off since puberty that I most probably couldn't get pregnant, but we ended up with a miracle baby too. And although I haven't been mistaken for a grandmother, my husband was mistaken for a grandfather ... by our *pediatrician* of all people! I was mortified. Thankfully DH wasn't there that day. I'm always scared that someone will openly call him grandpa one day.

DH is pretty easygoing about it, though, and sometimes makes jokes about how someone might think he's the grandpa. I don't know if I could handle it that easily.

One of the things I do when I get upset about this kind of thing is to stop and really think about what we've been through, and how we did have a child even though we were told it would be pretty much impossible. I always feel very proud of that, and you should be proud too! Revel in your later-in-life blessing ... I think at our age we've all earned the right to do just that!

.   Oh thank you so much! It made me feel a lot better. I'm so very proud to finally be a mommy and I wouldn't change  a thing about it. I've always believed that everything happens for a reason and in its own time. Thanks again!

robynlesley

Thankfully no. But I guess I'm lucky in that I look years younger than my age (42)--per others. However, if I decided NOT to color my hair, I'd be "the grandma" in a second. lol I am white under my salon brown.

gimmietimmies

robynlesley:

Thankfully no. But I guess I'm lucky in that I look years younger than my age (42)--per others. However, if I decided NOT to color my hair, I'd be "the grandma" in a second. lol I am white under my salon brown.

Too cute! My poor sil went grey totally at 25, I can't imagine what it would be like if she didn't color her hair. 

diana.filipi

I will be 38 in about a week.  I have not had anyone mistake me for the grandma yet but I think it's more likely to happen in a few years when the kids start hitting public school ages.  I think I look my age so far.  Also, a LOT of my friends are near my age with babies.  My BFF is actually the same age as me and our kids are pretty close in age too.  She just cut off all her hair, stopped dying it and is fairly white haired!

FyreFlyeRush

No, I have a different problem. Ppl ask if I'm DDs sister and assume I'm DSs AUNT and SHE is his mom. I had her at 19, and I don't look 35.