new. how often are you at the nicu?

cynnnabun

Sorry if this has been discussed. I'm on my phone so its hard to really look. I just had my baby last night at 34 weeks. I also have a 7 year old and 1 year old. I get discharged tomorrow and i'm having trouble with the logistics of the next few weeks. How can I be here enough and be at home with my other girls enough? I'm also feeling useless. There's nothing I can do but stare at her. I can't touch her because it makes her upset and her numbers go all crazy. She's just in her cocoon with the blanket over it most of the time. So even when i'm in with her I don't feel like i'm doing anything.

Bluebird2318

I have no other children, but bearing that in mind, when she was very new in the NICU I would spend about an hour there once or twice per day, making sure to go during hands-on time when I could change her diaper and do kangaroo care. I didn't stay much longer because, like you said, there was not much I could do but stare. During the later part of her stay when she was more stable in the special care nursery I would stay anywhere from one hour up to six (rarely, usually somewhere more in the middle). During the very last 2-3 days of her stay I was literally there 24/7. If you ask me, it's all what you are capable of or feel comfortable with. Even with a positive experience, a NICU stay is rough... Nothing is too long or too short. I know some ladies with other children would dedicate the morning/afternoon to their at-home children and the evening to their NICU baby (or vice versa).

ling_ling83

Welcome! I don't have any other children but I'd spent 3 weeks as a patient so I was turned off by the hospital when I was discharged I didn't want to be there too long. I went for about an hour a day until I got over the distaste - He was in the NICU for a month after I was released so I had plenty of time to be there. Its hard at first when they are so small but I fell in love with just holding him when they told me it was okay to do so when ever I wanted. That is all I did for the longest time before he was ready to take a bottle. I started by just watching then holding his hand and then holding him. I hope she isn't in there too long and you will figure out whats best for you!

Sept30Madison

I was at the NICU from about 10am-6pm on weekdays and about 4 hours per day on the weekends.  I had breakfast and dinner with my older DD and spent time with her in the evenings. We also did fun weekend activities. It worked well for us considering I'm a working mom when not on maternity leave.  When working, I was away from home from 8-5, so the NICU schedule didn't really change my older DDs "schedule" very much.

One piece of advice -- do fun things with your older children now since you won't be able to leave the house as much once your new little one comes home.