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ladybugsmum

I am just writing on this board in hopes of meeting some ladies in a similiar situation. Currently, I am still in the relationship but I have recently found out a lot of things that just keep eating away at me. I don't really have anyone I can talk to because I don't want anyone to dislike my boyfriend for the things he is doing/saying. (I feel pathetic for even typing that).

Anyways, up until the beginning of August, everything has been great between SO and I. Both agreed we were meant to be together and extremely happy. After that, I am not sure what happened. He went from telling me he would marry me tomorrow to not even really looking at me.

I began to get suspicious so I started asking questions about whether or not he is still happy or attracted to me. He insisted I overreact and that it seems like I am the one that is miserable. HELLO! IT'S THE MIDDLE OF THE HOTTEST SUMMER EVER AND I AM FAT!!!! Yes, I am miserable but not in our relationship. I try to explain this but it's like he doesn't understand.

About 3 weeks ago, we went camping and I noticed a dating app on his phone. Of course, when he was asleep I hacked into it. I never felt so hurt in my life. He was actually telling other women how beautiful and sexy they are. Now I am so obsessed with getting on this account to see what he does. He even went as far as to getting a prepaid card and hiding it from me to pay for this stupid site.

I have dropped subtle hints to him about this stuff. For instance, one night I said "that would be like the lowest of the low for a man to cheat on his pregnant girlfriend." Or when I found the little wrapper the prepaid card in, I asked what he needed a prepaid card for. He lied and said it wasn't his.

I am driving myself mad with this and what makes it worse is that ever since I dropped those hints, he went back to his normal self around me trying to play it off like nothing is wrong. When he gets around his friends and he thinks I am not in hearing distance, he talks about how I make no money and haven't bought anything for the baby yet. Meanwhile, he's been saving money like crazy, bought the crib, paint and stuff for the babies room. Yeah, I make hardly any money but why would  I even buy anything before my shower anyways???

Sorry this is so long, I guess I really just needed to vent. I feel depressed anymore and anyone that knows me knows this isn't the person I am. And I am scared to confront him because I don't want to be alone in the delivery room. I have never felt so scared and helpless in my entire life. And to be honest, I know I am making this worse for myself but I don't know what to do about anything anymore.

joliebebe

Take a deep breath... let it out.

First of all, obviously no one can tell you what to do with your situation, they can simply offer advice and support. You?re going to have to make the ultimate decision. What I might do and you might do are probably two different things. That said, it sounds to me like you both are unhappy ? you?re unhappy enough to contemplate being a single parent and posting on this board. I wouldn?t hint around the issue though, just bring it up and see what he says; perhaps it?s time for couples counseling if you?re interested on keeping the relationship going.

I don?t think someone who pays for a dating site, actively uses said dating site, then lies about it is happy in their current relationship either. I?m not going to cast stones as I don?t know your SO, but that?s pretty unacceptable behavior in my book. Like I said, ask him about it. You?re obviously scared of being alone, raising your child alone, but you shouldn?t stay in a relationship simply because it?s comfortable. Plenty of women on this board raise children by themselves, so it can be done. Just don?t delude yourself that you?ll magically fix everything, that these suspicions and feelings will go away just because LO is born or time goes on.

Anyway, I hope everything works out for you, whether it?s staying in your current relationship (and SO apologizes) or moving on.. GL.

 

samsterrr

Like PP said no one knows you and your SO, but I will tell you I wish my parents did not stay together for me. My dad cheated and lied my mom was always heart broken. I love my parents but even as a kid I felt the tension and knew they werent happy. You have to be happy for your child! I'm sure your stronger than you give yourself credit for, and you could do it on your own. Your stronger than me, if I found that I would have flipped and been gone in seconds. Once a line is crossed it no longer exists, he is one step away from physically cheating(what he is doing now is just as bad!)