TTC between Deployments

darjeeling

For those of you TTC, do you count all the interrupted months?  I have recently heard that one has not truly been TTC for 12 months unless all months are consecutive...?!  

We tried 3 months pre-deplyment, and are into month #5 post deployment.  That brings us to a total of 8 months.  We are inching closer to 12 months.

I know there will never be an uninterrupted year with his job the way it is.

 Just wondering if you start over post deployment/training or keep counting.  I'm not too sure what Tricare's opinion is, my OB never seemed to be too strict.  Thanks ladies.

sweetpea2003

You need to subtract the months he is deployed in your "total count".  So, while you have been approaching a calendar year, you have only been TTC 8 months of that. 

Fertility treatments suck, and while I understand wanting to increase your chances and being anxious about wondering if something is wrong, you should not jump the gun and seek treatments 5 full months early over it.  Give your body a chance!

hbbmama

Just like sweatpea said, you actually have to have "actively tried" for 12 months before they consider it a year. Actually whether or not he had been home the whole year, was the first question they asked when I went in and mentioned it.  if he has been gone half the year then you haven't actually been trying to conceive a whole year, just half. It takes the average couple 12 months to conceive so don't freak out just yet. Even though I know its annoying when you hear about all the people who do it on the first try. The more you stress/think about it the worse it seems to get. Good luck!

nursemullinax

Unfortunately its best to try for 12 consecutive month before you introduce fertility drugs. They are very effective, but there are a lot of side effects to them. I know right now it seems like hubby will never be home, but I know a lot of servicemembers do a stint as cadre for a school so they don't deploy during that time. Once you get to that point you'll get plenty of babymaking time with hubby. 

DH wanted me to look into fertility drug before we had been trying for a full year (due to deployment), and I reminded him that women get a finite # of eggs to work with and fertility drugs typically cause women to release multiple eggs at a time so we're burning through them that much faster. Men on the other had are CONSTANTLY producing more sperm, so I think its easier for them to take something.

sweetpea2003

nursemullinax:

Unfortunately its best to try for 12 consecutive month before you introduce fertility drugs. They are very effective, but there are a lot of side effects to them. I know right now it seems like hubby will never be home, but I know a lot of servicemembers do a stint as cadre for a school so they don't deploy during that time. Once you get to that point you'll get plenty of babymaking time with hubby. 

DH wanted me to look into fertility drug before we had been trying for a full year (due to deployment), and I reminded him that women get a finite # of eggs to work with and fertility drugs typically cause women to release multiple eggs at a time so we're burning through them that much faster. Men on the other had are CONSTANTLY producing more sperm, so I think its easier for them to take something.

Actually, there is absolutely zero research that shows women who undergo IF treatments go through menopause early.  That is a myth.  I actually had my RE explain it to me because I thought the same thing.  He explained it simply -->  Think of your eggs as being on a conveyer belt and constantly cycling through.  Every month, one egg is "chosen" and you ovulate that egg (even though hundreds more are passing by).  With stims, it must means that MANY eggs are "chosen" off of that conveyer belt.  So whether you stim or not, you "use" the same number of eggs on any given cycle.  Women who do stims just ovulate/retrieve more of them.

The truth is, fertility treatments can be invasive.  HSGs, SHGs, etc can cause infections.  Stim drugs can cause OHSS and other potentially life threatening issues.  Mentally, it is very difficult. Financially, it is draining.  There is just absolutely zero reason to jump into those waters until you really truly need to do so.  The military complicates things because 12 months of TTC for a military couple could easily take 18-24 months.  It sucks, but we aren't the only women in this position and many professions make TTC complicated.

OP, good luck with TTC!  I would hold off on any IF related testing/treatment for a few more months.  I hope you get your BFP soon!

darjeeling

Thank you ladies for your insight.  I know all the fertility treatments are more invasive than what we need right now, and I don't factor in his deployment into our TTC time.  I guess there must be a reason why 12 consecutive months are better odds than 4 months here, 5 months there, another 3 months down the line, etc.  I wonder what that reason is aside from just more likelihood of good timing.  

Sweetpea, that's a good point about other professions having a hard time TTC too.  Your blog looks really cute, btw!  I love the title.

I guess I needed a bit of a vent, and was looking for people who have had similar experiences.  But you're right, I shouldn't get frustrated or assume something is wrong.  We got a bfp this cycle, but it ended in early mc.  But I'm keeping the faith!  At least I know now we can get pregnant.