4th day of school goes poorly---Vent and advice

cmrand4

Today was DS's 4th day of preschool.  He's been anxious, but pulls it together and has a good day overall, according to his teacher.  The problem is that his anxiety is particularly affecting his ability to demonstrate that he's potty trained. (He's been potty trained with only a handful of accidents since April).  The teacher says that he does the potty dance and won't initiate that he needs to use the toilet until it's too late or severely urgent.  At home he uses the potty independently, except for pulling up his pants again afterwards.  So, I guess at school, when he visits the potty, he just pees all over the floor.  The teacher said today that she wants him to stay in her class but that with 3 year olds the student/teacher ratio is greater and she can't be cleaning up his accidents and needs him to be potty trained.  My response was "he is!! Just give him more time to adjust"  I'm worried that if he doesn't get the hang of it, they send him packing.    Anyone deal with this? Did your kid adjust in a reasonable time?

rosesandpeonies

My daughter is the same age and going through a similar thing.  She was fine the first week and then it all started the second week.  She cries leaving the house before we even drop off my younger daughter at daycare.  

She had an accident last week also.  She is terrified of toilets flushing...which is a long story (she was in the bathroom with me once when the toilet overflowed..).

Her teacher wasn't concerned.  She just used her change of clothes and told me about it.  They are dealing with three year olds.  I am surprised that they are so impatient the fourth day of school.

One idea I have for you is to visit the bathroom with him.  Can you do that?  So that he feels comfortable using the toilet at the school.  I had to do that with my daughter.

This is all very normal.  As a teacher I can tell you it depends on the child and can take weeks, especially at this age. 

also, I see he has a new baby brother.  So there is a lot of change going on in his little life.  So just reassure him and give him love.  He will be alright.  If they send him packing, that isn't the school for him.  Just keep working with him.  Itll be alright.  Im dealing with it to so you aren't alone! 

Littlejen22

Honestly, if he cannot pull up his own pants then he is not considered potty trained by any preschools that I know.  From my understanding, in my state if they are not certified as a daycare they cannot help a kid in the bathroom, period.  I know that is not really your main issue but if he is not pulling up his own pants you might need to take a step back and think about if he is really ready for this class even if he makes it to the bathroom on time.  I know it is frustrating, hopefully it will all come together for him soon enough that you do not have to make a change.

jlw2505

The first week or 2 of a new class is so hard for the kids and it takes time.  Potty accidents the 1st week or 2 arfe so common and I would have an issue with a school that is saying they will kick a kid out in the 1st week or 2 due to accidents.  Sorry but they are little kids and school is new and for most, so is going potty on their own.  Its a new place and it can be scary.  At the daycare preschool my kids went to, kids moved up to the 3 year old room only after they showed they were potty trained in the 2 1/2 year old room and some kids didn't move up until they were 3 1/2 if it took them longer but even in the 3 year old room - there were plenty of accidents.  My 4 year old (March b-day) moved to the 4 year old room in June (due to space, she couldn't move up sooner) and had accidents the 1st week in the new room even though it was the same school, she knew most of the kids and knew the teachers.  Change is hard.  I bet by this time next week, he will be doing just fine.

Jen&Len

How many hours a day is he in school?  DS had a hard first week adjustment as well and he was barely potty trained in time.  We knew he could last a few hours for the most part and school was 3 hours for him. So I took him every day to the classroom toilet every day during drop off, even if he said he didn't have to go.  After he settled in and was more comfortable, he was fine.  He only had 2 accidents all year after that.  One was while they were doing outdoor time and they couldn't get him inside in time.  And the other one wasn't really an accident per se...more of an aiming issue (he was at the toilet, but aimed straight down at his pants)!

 I think once he settles in, it will be better.  But he probably should learn how to pull his pants up by himself.  We just put DS in cotton gym shorts so that he could get them on and off easily.  Not the most attractive outfit, but it worked and I didn't have to worry about him getting stuff dirty!

akayf

What do you mean that he can't pull his pants up?   Like others have said, get him pants with elastic waists and no buttons/zippers/snaps...even jeans.    All of DS's school pants are elastic waist pants.   Target, JcPenny, and Carter's all make jeans and khakis without snaps/buttons/zippers so they are easy on and off.   My MIL says she can tell DS's school doesn't help them in the bathroom because his underwear are always pulled up weird when she picks him up.  

The program also asks that you take your child to the bathroom when you drop them off so they start the day off with an empty bladder.  

However, it is the first week of school and accidents do happen.     He needs some time to adjust.   I believe that DS's school gives the kids until the end of Sept and if there are still pottying and/or adjustment issues, then it becomes a problem.