Another deep thought question

andyyougoonie

Is there anyone that you miss having in your life, but you know you're better off without them?

I have several of these people.

An ex
Three former BFFs

I think about them often and how great our relationship was before things went south.  Then I remember what assholes they were and I'm glad we're not friends anymore, but still a little sad at the loss.

ETA: to fix the subject

EastCoastBride

There is a couple that we (our entire friend group) were friends with for years.  Some of the issues existed all along, but once they had their first child - thats when things REALLY changed.

I think back to the pre-kid time and there are times w /them that I actually do miss.  They could be fun people to hang out with.

But post-kid - um, no.  And really, the post-kid issues were only that their having a kid only magnified the issues that had actually always existed but we chose to gloss over.

They've been out of our lives for about 3 or 4 years now, and we ALL agree that life is just easier w/o them.

BUT I do miss the good times. 

ktshoff

Yep, an ex!  I had a dream about him the other night and it reminded me of the good ole' times.  I know that I would have never have the life that I have now if I were still with him and I would never think about trading my DH for him but I do still think about him.  We dated for 5 and a half years so he was a huge part of my life.  He just didn't and wouldn't grow up!

tarebear9891

There are a lot of friends that I have distanced myself from because we aren't in the same place in life. Nothing dramatic happened but most of them are still in the party every night mode.

nanabanana06

Yes, one is an ex. He wasn't good for me though, but he was the most fun I have ever had. He was Mr. Struggling Artist. He played in a horror punk band and was dangerous. We partied a lot and I turned into a mess, but I really miss him sometimes. I miss that aspect of my life.

That is really about it. I think it's not really people that I miss. I miss my old life sometimes. Being young, carefree, and fun. However, I enjoy being a mother so much more. When I do get an opportunity to party and have fun I don't like it as much anymore. I worry about the implications of my actions. It's nice to think about though.

Libby1978

I'm kind of an out of sight out of mind person.  If I've grown apart from someone it doesn't really have a huge affect on my life.  That probably makes me sound awful, but I really feel like you outgrow some people.  It's just a part of life.

Wine O Mite

100% yes.  I have a lot of people that came in and out of my life that I think about on the regular.

FB has eliminated a lot of the what ifs though, as I can now see what they are doing in their lives and make me realize that it was a good decision to eliminate them from my life.

And as cheesy as this sounds, I do think that who we are today is from all the good friends and the bad ones that have come into our lives.

Like that song from Wicked.

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

 

 

Wine O Mite

Now I'm singing the songs from Wicked.

Why do I do that to myself.

Ok, I need to do work.  

ASmallWonder

Wine O Mite:

100% yes.  I have a lot of people that came in and out of my life that I think about on the regular.

FB has eliminated a lot of the what ifs though, as I can now see what they are doing in their lives and make me realize that it was a good decision to eliminate them from my life.

And as cheesy as this sounds, I do think that who we are today is from all the good friends and the bad ones that have come into our lives.

Like that song from Wicked.

I've heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you...

 

 

Love LOVE this song.  DH and I danced to "All My Roads" for our wedding.  It talks about how no road you take in life is a mistake.  It all leads to the good things in your life and that's where you were always meant to end up.  I don't look back with regret on any person I've known in my life but I can say for sure that I miss my first love.  He lives far away now and we haven't spoken in years but I have some seriously fond memories of the time I knew him. 

Kitiara5512

I miss a couple of friends. I don't know that I am better off without them for sure, we just never really kept up after a while, and I miss that friendship.

FrickandFrack

There are a few old BFF's that I miss from HS but they changed and not for the better.

ATMmom324

I have two relatives in particular who I am better off with out.  One is my aunt who actually raised me.  I realize that no matter what I do I will never be good enough for her and being in contact is more painful then anything else.  Even though I feel guilty over it I realize for my own sanity it is better to just have nothing to do with her.

 

The other is a cousin who is extremely toxic and done nothing but back stab and start trouble in my family. 

catycate

Yes- she was my best friend for a very very long time. Our friendship was very complicated and it ended very poorly when she told me I should have an abortion or raise child with her, not with DH (we were not married then). It got real real weird, real real fast, but we had been friends through a lot of changes and I was suprised it ended the way it did. I miss the good times.

madamsmurfette

Yep, also an ex and a bff.

ShellShockedMama

A former BFF. I never knew why she liked me on thursday and hated me on Friday, but I figure if she can't even tell me what's wrong, she wasn't as good a friend as I thought.