Having kids eat what you cook

catsinawindow

For those of you who do this (rather than making special meals for LO) how strict are you about it?  Did you become more strict as they got older?

Generally, breakfast and lunch aren't a problem.  DS will eat what we eat for those meals.  Dinner is very often a struggle.  Tonight we had a stand-off over a bowl of matzo ball soup.  He'll sometimes eat carrots and matzo balls are pretty easy to like so I expected that he could eat chunks from the soup.  Nope, he refused to even try it.  He just kept asking for crackers and throwing what I offered him.

In this situation, what do you do?  Give in and offer something else so he'll eat?  Not offer anything until he tries it?  He's a little young to reason with about this.  Thanks in advance!

catycate

My ped siad dinner is often the least eaten meal for toddlers and I have found that to be true in my house. I stick with it and don't offer anything else, but he still gets a sippy of milk right before bed. If he doesn't eat anything, I give him more milk.

catsinawindow

fredalina:

Offer a few things that he likes along with 1 or 2 new things.

Did you find that your kiddo would try the new foods?  DS has go to foods (cheese and fruit) but if I offered these I don't think he'd even consider trying the new foods.

catsinawindow

catycate:

My ped siad dinner is often the least eaten meal for toddlers and I have found that to be true in my house. I stick with it and don't offer anything else, but he still gets a sippy of milk right before bed. If he doesn't eat anything, I give him more milk.

I hadn't heard that before, but that is comforting.  This is definately true in our house!

Wufroggy79

I don't force her to eat anything she doesn't want. 

MrsGoodkat

I offer what we have. I try to include something he likes but as you know what the kid loved last week he might think is disgusting this week. I still offer some sort of alternative - applesauce, etc, but only after he's really rejected everything else on his plate. As he gets older I think it will be easier to say if you don't want what's served, don't eat (unless I think it's something they really don't like - I wouldn't be so mean then but for now he's still too little to let it go.

MrsSR

DD is not big on soup.  So if I'm making that, I make her something else (leftovers or grilled cheese).

 

ASmallWonder

catycate:

My ped siad dinner is often the least eaten meal for toddlers and I have found that to be true in my house. I stick with it and don't offer anything else, but he still gets a sippy of milk right before bed. If he doesn't eat anything, I give him more milk.

Same here.  I don't know that I'd make it a huge fight the first time he's trying something.  I think the more you dig YOUR heels in, the more they dig theirs in, kwim?  I also know that there are certain things my kid just doesn't like.  I still over them but don't force it because I figure everyone has stuff they really hate.  I always ate anything my mother made but there was one meal that I seriously couldn't stomach and it pissed me off that I couldn't have a peanut butter and jelly instead since it wasn't like a I made a habit of refusing her meals, kwim? 

suziqnc

DD usually eats most things that I offer her.  If she doesn't like something, I don't push it.  However, I have noticed that if she is really wanting something particular, if I give her a little of what she's asking for, once she finishes it, she will then eat the other food on her plate.

Lotsofloveandkids

I offer what we're eating to DS, as well as some veggies. If he doesn't eat, we don't force it. 

MoonlitPlumeria

We usually try to gear our meals more toward something that Z might like. We don't push it though. And we keep toddler meals in the cupboard for really stubborn nights or if we eat something that she probably shouldn't eat. We haven't tried her on things like jambalaya and red beans and rice. And she really doesn't like soup.

synchrosally

We adapt what we're eating much of the time. DS won't eat meat or veggies if left on his plate, but we've found if they're cut small and mixed with rice or couscous and bbq sauce, he'll eat it, so we try to work that in a few times a week if we can. If we're having something with pasta, I'll offer the pasta with sauce first, and if he refuses, he gets plain pasta which he will eat. More often than not, DS refuses to eat ANYTHING. Instead of making something different, we excuse him from the table and give him a "snack" later on so at least he has something in his tummy before bed. This was the advice from the behavioural therapist and nutritionist from our feeding clinic. Dinner is something we're actively working on

RayRay007

I offer whatever we're having, which is usually 2-3 different things, and if she doesn't eat one or two things but eats the other, that's fine. If she doesn't eat much of anything, I will offer one or two other things, like yogurt or toast. If she doesn't want that, that's it.

chardonnay24

Generally, if he doesn't eat what I serve, he doesn't eat dinner. I will give him a hearty snack and milk before bed if he is hungry (whether he eats dinner or not), but I don't want him to think that I'll make him a special meal if he doesn't eat what is served.

Also, he usually only gets one new food with each meal. So generally if I make a new chicken recipe, I'll make it with rice and a fruit or veggie I know he will like. So even if he doesn't eat the chicken, he will eat lots of whatever else is served.

KaramelSutra

I just can't get on board with no dinner for a toddler. We tried it one time, and i had such resentment toward myself for it.  I grew up with such an unhealthy relationship with food, that I refuse to let dinner be a source of anxiety for him. He gets presented with dinner, usually it's a meal made for him. Stuff he will eat, and always something he won't. He won't eat any meat, and veggies, if they're hidden, are OK. we can hide almost anything in red sauce.

 i do not want him feel like i'm punishing him for not wanting to eat what's shown. he's allowed to choose; my DH sure does.

He will ask for fruit later if he is still hungry.

kcisthebombdotcom

KaramelSutra:

I just can't get on board with no dinner for a toddler. We tried it one time, and i had such resentment toward myself for it.  I grew up with such an unhealthy relationship with food, that I refuse to let dinner be a source of anxiety for him. He gets presented with dinner, usually it's a meal made for him. Stuff he will eat, and always something he won't. He won't eat any meat, and veggies, if they're hidden, are OK. we can hide almost anything in red sauce.

 i do not want him feel like i'm punishing him for not wanting to eat what's shown. he's allowed to choose; my DH sure does.

He will ask for fruit later if he is still hungry.

Eh, to offer the reverse of it, my parents let me eat what I wanted to eat and I only ate pasta and a few different fruits as a kid. I was very anemic, unhealthy, and had little energy as a child because of it. I push good eating habits because I don't want my kids to be unhealthy and I think it's important to start young. And it works--my kids eat a variety of meats/fruits/vegetables and have lots of energy. It has never caused them to be anxious about eating or food because I refuse to make them 2 different meals for dinner.

I would never force something they don't like onto them, but if they've eaten something a million times and decide they don't want what I'm serving I stick to my guns. I give my oldest (and will with my youngest when she's older) some input on dinner--I give them a choice over what veggie is served but what they choose is what they eat. I can't remember a time they went to bed hungry--usually they protest for a bit but end up eating right before they go to bed.

You let your DH choose what he wants to eat? I can't imagine making a meal for me, then another one for DH, then another one for the kids. That's insanity.

KaramelSutra

KC_13:

KaramelSutra:

I just can't get on board with no dinner for a toddler. We tried it one time, and i had such resentment toward myself for it.  I grew up with such an unhealthy relationship with food, that I refuse to let dinner be a source of anxiety for him. He gets presented with dinner, usually it's a meal made for him. Stuff he will eat, and always something he won't. He won't eat any meat, and veggies, if they're hidden, are OK. we can hide almost anything in red sauce.

 i do not want him feel like i'm punishing him for not wanting to eat what's shown. he's allowed to choose; my DH sure does.

He will ask for fruit later if he is still hungry.

Eh, to offer the reverse of it, my parents let me eat what I wanted to eat and I only ate pasta and a few different fruits as a kid. I was very anemic, unhealthy, and had little energy as a child because of it. I push good eating habits because I don't want my kids to be unhealthy and I think it's important to start young. And it works--my kids eat a variety of meats/fruits/vegetables and have lots of energy. It has never caused them to be anxious about eating or food because I refuse to make them 2 different meals for dinner.

I would never force something they don't like onto them, but if they've eaten something a million times and decide they don't want what I'm serving I stick to my guns. I give my oldest (and will with my youngest when she's older) some input on dinner--I give them a choice over what veggie is served but what they choose is what they eat. I can't remember a time they went to bed hungry--usually they protest for a bit but end up eating right before they go to bed.

You let your DH choose what he wants to eat? I can't imagine making a meal for me, then another one for DH, then another one for the kids. That's insanity.

No. I make dinner most nights, and DH picks what he wants out of it. It's a fight I'm not willing to have. Tino is presented with a very healthy variety of protein, fruit, and grains in the day. I can't punish him for not liking meat (he gags in the texture). When a good portion of dinners I make are centered around a meat, it's hard to have him eat the same. KWIM?

A menu for him:

Breakfast: 

Oatmeal with barely and flax

Banana

Milk 

 

Lunch:

Pb&j on whole wheat

Grapes and oranges

Cheese stick

 

Dinner:

Wheat rigatoni with red sauce and a veggie added in the sauce

Yogurt

Another fruit

 

Snacks are minimal here, but sometimes after nap he will get some goldfish.  

kcisthebombdotcom

KaramelSutra:

KC_13:

KaramelSutra:

I just can't get on board with no dinner for a toddler. We tried it one time, and i had such resentment toward myself for it.  I grew up with such an unhealthy relationship with food, that I refuse to let dinner be a source of anxiety for him. He gets presented with dinner, usually it's a meal made for him. Stuff he will eat, and always something he won't. He won't eat any meat, and veggies, if they're hidden, are OK. we can hide almost anything in red sauce.

 i do not want him feel like i'm punishing him for not wanting to eat what's shown. he's allowed to choose; my DH sure does.

He will ask for fruit later if he is still hungry.

Eh, to offer the reverse of it, my parents let me eat what I wanted to eat and I only ate pasta and a few different fruits as a kid. I was very anemic, unhealthy, and had little energy as a child because of it. I push good eating habits because I don't want my kids to be unhealthy and I think it's important to start young. And it works--my kids eat a variety of meats/fruits/vegetables and have lots of energy. It has never caused them to be anxious about eating or food because I refuse to make them 2 different meals for dinner.

I would never force something they don't like onto them, but if they've eaten something a million times and decide they don't want what I'm serving I stick to my guns. I give my oldest (and will with my youngest when she's older) some input on dinner--I give them a choice over what veggie is served but what they choose is what they eat. I can't remember a time they went to bed hungry--usually they protest for a bit but end up eating right before they go to bed.

You let your DH choose what he wants to eat? I can't imagine making a meal for me, then another one for DH, then another one for the kids. That's insanity.

No. I make dinner most nights, and DH picks what he wants out of it. It's a fight I'm not willing to have. Tino is presented with a very healthy variety of protein, fruit, and grains in the day. I can't punish him for not liking meat (he gags in the texture). When a good portion of dinners I make are centered around a meat, it's hard to have him eat the same. KWIM?

A menu for him:

Breakfast: 

Oatmeal with barely and flax

Banana

Milk 

 

Lunch:

Pb&j on whole wheat

Grapes and oranges

Cheese stick

 

Dinner:

Wheat rigatoni with red sauce and a veggie added in the sauce

Yogurt

Another fruit

 

Snacks are minimal here, but sometimes after nap he will get some goldfish.  

He refuses every kind of meat? Have you brought it up to your pedi? An occupational therapist may be able to help out with that.

kllrbnny

When my kids were younger (1 1/2 - 2ish) I would offer them exactly what the rest of us were eating, sometimes presented a different way. I would strongly encourage, but not force, trying one bite of everything. If the meal was outright refused I would generally offer fruit/applesauce/string cheese-something small and healthy so that something would be in the belly and then make sure a couple of glasses of milk were had before bed. When I was a SAHM I would often keep the plate and offer it at the next meal just in case.

As they got older I became more insistent on them trying at least one bite of everthing and eating at least most of what I know they like. I never insist they finish anything and if they truly hate something I'll let them spit it out and I always thank them for trying new things. Also as they got older I began to cut down on the other offerings until it got to the point where they know that if they don't eat their dinner then they don't eat. I rarely make an exception, and the only time I make them seperate meals is if what I've made is spicy and I know its too much for them or if they're sick.

Right now my kids are really focused on dessert and its driving me nuts. I don't want it to be an every night expectation. I also am still working on teaching the 4 yo that if she's too full to eat dinner (especially when I know she likes it ) then she's too full for dessert. I know this is a phase though, b/c my 9 yo has the same fixation but knows he has to finish his meal first.

hmp1

I always have something that I know he likes (like if I was making soup, I would also offer cornbread). I don't trust him with soup so I would have drained the liquid too. If he eats it great, if not, oh well. He still sleeps great even when he doesn't eat much dinner.

catsinawindow

Thanks for the ideas and insight, everyone.  I'm definately stressing about this too much.  We'll try a more laid-back approach from now on.

Kitiara5512

C eats whatever he has when he is hungry. If he doesn't eat the food in front of him, we ask if he is done and he says done.

However, we have also found that he prefers eating from our plates too, so sometimes I will eat right after he refuses his food, and he will take a couple of bites of food from me and then say he is done, so he is wanting to taste and try everything, he just isn't hungry.

insertclevername

I offer LO what we are eating and encourage him to try it.  I don't force it though.  If he doesn't eat what was presented to him, then we offer him fruit and yogurt after dinner is over.  I am not going to force it at this point.  I may change my approach once he is older and is developmentally capable of understanding why it is important to try new foods and eat a variety of healthy foods.

KaramelSutra

KC_13:

KaramelSutra:

KC_13:

KaramelSutra:

I just can't get on board with no dinner for a toddler. We tried it one time, and i had such resentment toward myself for it.  I grew up with such an unhealthy relationship with food, that I refuse to let dinner be a source of anxiety for him. He gets presented with dinner, usually it's a meal made for him. Stuff he will eat, and always something he won't. He won't eat any meat, and veggies, if they're hidden, are OK. we can hide almost anything in red sauce.

 i do not want him feel like i'm punishing him for not wanting to eat what's shown. he's allowed to choose; my DH sure does.

He will ask for fruit later if he is still hungry.

Eh, to offer the reverse of it, my parents let me eat what I wanted to eat and I only ate pasta and a few different fruits as a kid. I was very anemic, unhealthy, and had little energy as a child because of it. I push good eating habits because I don't want my kids to be unhealthy and I think it's important to start young. And it works--my kids eat a variety of meats/fruits/vegetables and have lots of energy. It has never caused them to be anxious about eating or food because I refuse to make them 2 different meals for dinner.

I would never force something they don't like onto them, but if they've eaten something a million times and decide they don't want what I'm serving I stick to my guns. I give my oldest (and will with my youngest when she's older) some input on dinner--I give them a choice over what veggie is served but what they choose is what they eat. I can't remember a time they went to bed hungry--usually they protest for a bit but end up eating right before they go to bed.

You let your DH choose what he wants to eat? I can't imagine making a meal for me, then another one for DH, then another one for the kids. That's insanity.

No. I make dinner most nights, and DH picks what he wants out of it. It's a fight I'm not willing to have. Tino is presented with a very healthy variety of protein, fruit, and grains in the day. I can't punish him for not liking meat (he gags in the texture). When a good portion of dinners I make are centered around a meat, it's hard to have him eat the same. KWIM?

A menu for him:

Breakfast: 

Oatmeal with barely and flax

Banana

Milk 

 

Lunch:

Pb&j on whole wheat

Grapes and oranges

Cheese stick

 

Dinner:

Wheat rigatoni with red sauce and a veggie added in the sauce

Yogurt

Another fruit

 

Snacks are minimal here, but sometimes after nap he will get some goldfish.  

He refuses every kind of meat? Have you brought it up to your pedi? An occupational therapist may be able to help out with that.

Yes, every kind. Occasionally, he will eat a chicken nugget, but rare. His pedi knows, and says as long as he is getting protein in other sources, we should be ok. Lots of Greek yogurt, eggs, nut butter, and cheeses here.

 

Thanks tho