Need opinions/input

lpope9608

I am new to this board and I'm not even sure that what I'm dealing with is considered PPD, so I thought I'd say what I'm feeling and hopefully get some input from you ladies if it seems like PPD or not.

DS is almost 3 months, and I have a DD that is 3 years. My issues don't seem to be with DS. I feel completely connected to him, he sleeps through the night, he's a wonderful baby. I feel guilty about DD, though. I feel guilty that I tend to the baby so much and feel almost like I am ignoring her. I know that I'm NOT ignoring her, though...she loves to just play and do her own thing and she always has...I try to get her to play with something with me and she just wants to do her thing. I still can't help but feel bad. When she asks to go to the playground, I feel like it's more of a chore than a treat. I know it's hard with an infant to keep an eye on him, but still play with her, but even when I was pregnant I just never feel like taking her.

Because she likes to do her own thing, I find myself sitting on the couch all day. I'm not motivated to do anything. I'm a SAHM, so I hardly ever get out of the house, nor am I motivated to do so, but then I feel down because I don't. It's a vicious cycle. We also don't have the money for me to be running around doing things.

I do stress about finances, as I am in charge of the bills. DH works late all the time. He usually gets home around 7:00-7:20, and DD goes to bed at 8:00, so that makes it hard as well. I find myself snapping at DH over absolutely nothing. Even if I am in a good mood, I can do a 180 in a split second for nothing. Like today, I seriously got pissed because the sheets on DD's bed were crooked! (really?!) I get mad at DH because he doesn't fix them when he does bedtime, but I haven't fixed them either, so it's stupid! I will feel bad because I know that I overreact, but I can't do anything to prevent it and it'll take me a little while to snap out of it, too.

I don't know if all of this is some sort of PPD, or if I'm just stressing that I feel like a single mom half the time and am just lazy. Any input is greatly appreciated! I feel a little better to have just written it all out. Thanks for reading if you made it this far  

emnoahmom

Sounds like you're stuck in a rut? It's easy to do being a SAHM. I was that way and then found a mom friend to hang with which makes me more motivated to go do things and gives my two year old a friend to hang out with. Have you checked any mom groups in your area?

lpope9608

I haven't, no. I've thought about it, but never followed through. DD is starting preschool next week, so I'm hoping that helps a little bit...ease the guilt a little about her not getting to be outside or around other kids. It'll force me to get dressed in the morning.