How do you discipline?

tch81

Now that we have DS, DD has been behaving badly.  We expected that she may be jealous of baby, but she seems to love the baby & hates me!   Everything has become a battle. I'm trying positive reinforcement using stickers, but I can use some other ideas. How do you ladies get your toddlers to cooperate, especially in public.

BeebopandBuddy

It may be more about getting your attention in any way possible than not liking or liking her sibling.  I would always try to tell her what to do rathen than what not to do ("Stay by mommy" rather than "Don't run away").  Praise positive behavior and give minimal attention for bad behavior.  Also try to keep her busy in public.  Give her an item to look for at the store or tell her the cart is heavy and you need help pushing it.  Making her feel included and useful should help a ton.

dairygirl19

delaine0821:

It may be more about getting your attention in any way possible than not liking or liking her sibling.  I would always try to tell her what to do rathen than what not to do ("Stay by mommy" rather than "Don't run away").  Praise positive behavior and give minimal attention for bad behavior.  Also try to keep her busy in public.  Give her an item to look for at the store or tell her the cart is heavy and you need help pushing it.  Making her feel included and useful should help a ton.

 I agree with this. She's a bit too little to understand all out discipline yet in my opinion.

My LO is 14 months and I do a lot of wording things positively and a TON of distraction (Look at this. Where's the kitty? Have this not this. etc. etc). It seems to work for me.

If my LO is busy and occupied she's usually fairly good. On the really bad days I try to have a short movie, a small toy or dig some stuff out of the cupboard she hasn't seen in awhile. Seems to help a lot as well.

For the really bad infractions, I do a stern no followed by a time out in a chair. She knows she's in "trouble" but really only half gets the rest. I figure it's a good pattern to get into just so I stay consistent.

Also, sometimes I will grab her fingers (Not hard, just enough so she stops) hold them, stoop down to her height,  say NO, explain and then redirect. It seems to work the best for us at this point. She obviously only gets the half of that but again good practice.

dana2die4

 We have been doing "Corner time". DS has been going through a hitting phase, and its been working pretty well. You have to be very consistent though.

rlyttle

I try to distract DS, but sometimes he needs some discipline for doing something really bad like hitting, biting, throwing things, standing in a chair after telling him to sit. If it's really bad I have spanked DS lightly. He does get upset, then wants to hug & kiss me. If he hits I make him say he's sorry and kiss where he hit. Mostly I just give him a firm NO right in his face. With DS turning 2 next week, I can def see him testing his boundaries more and more. 

kcisthebombdotcom

We practice positive discipline.

In terms of what you're experiencing, it's likely a reaction to the baby. I would try to give your older child as much attention as you can while baby sleeps. Give her some control over her environment by giving her lots of choices when possible, like what to wear and choices between 2 healthy snacks when she's hungry.

NewFamily09

For tantrums, I've found something that works really well.  I read once that kids have tantrums because they have trouble communicating.  When one of my sons has a tantrum, I pick them up, and calmly tell them what they are feeling.  "I know that you want a cookie.  You are mad that you can't have one."   I just keep repeating things like that and it calms them down quickly.  Sometimes I think they just need to be heard.  Also, instead of saying "no" try saying no a different way.  Like instead of "No you can't have a cookie" say "Sure you can have a cookie after dinner!  Great idea!"  It works with my kids.  And whenever possible, I give them choices.  "Do you want a green cup or a blue cup?"  "A red shirt or orange shirt?"  Little things that don't really matter to us make them feel like they have more power.  Other than that, we do timeouts.  I'm really fortunate to have pretty mellow kids.  They don't throw tantrums too often. 

Dizzbomb

mainerocks:

rlyttle:

I try to distract DS, but sometimes he needs some discipline for doing something really bad like hitting, biting, throwing things, standing in a chair after telling him to sit. If it's really bad I have spanked DS lightly. He does get upset, then wants to hug & kiss me. If he hits I make him say he's sorry and kiss where he hit. Mostly I just give him a firm NO right in his face. With DS turning 2 next week, I can def see him testing his boundaries more and more. 

So you hit him and say hitting is bad? Do you not see the sad irony of this? 

This!

mesmom2011

NewFamily09:

For tantrums, I've found something that works really well.  I read once that kids have tantrums because they have trouble communicating.  When one of my sons has a tantrum, I pick them up, and calmly tell them what they are feeling.  "I know that you want a cookie.  You are mad that you can't have one."   I just keep repeating things like that and it calms them down quickly.  Sometimes I think they just need to be heard.  Also, instead of saying "no" try saying no a different way.  Like instead of "No you can't have a cookie" say "Sure you can have a cookie after dinner!  Great idea!"  It works with my kids.  And whenever possible, I give them choices.  "Do you want a green cup or a blue cup?"  "A red shirt or orange shirt?"  Little things that don't really matter to us make them feel like they have more power.  Other than that, we do timeouts.  I'm really fortunate to have pretty mellow kids.  They don't throw tantrums too often. 

These things work for my LO.  She also has a pretty good vocabulary (between words and signs), so we tell her to use her words.