Likely joining this board.

shabamwam

I have been unhappy in our marriage for awhile, turns out he been to. We have been together since 2004 and married since 2009. We have one child who is only 9 months old. We have gone through alot together, and my husband suffers with undiagnosed manic deppression. He finally has it managed with medication. It really got bad last year while I was pregnant. He flies of the handle over the smallest issue. His voice was hoarse from yelling in my face. He says things to me that I probably would'nt say to my worst enemy. I never intentionally say things to hurt him, I could, but I dont. He has never hit me, and he points this out every chance he gets, but he doesnt realize how what he says is harmful too. I know I have resented him and grown away from him since this began last summer. He recently started this again and I dont think I could ever forgive him for the things he says to me. I know deep down I love him, and he loves me but I'm emotionally done.

Right now he is in Michigan fishing, and as of last night I talked him into counseling. After sleeping on it I completely changed my mind. I am planning on getting everything moved out by the time he gets home. I really do not want to cause any more drama. I feel like I am a very logical person and he is the complete opposite so I want to try not to make him angry.

All I'm asking for really is adice from those who have gone through similar situations.

ldoo

shabamwam:

I have been unhappy in our marriage for awhile, turns out he been to. We have been together since 2004 and married since 2009. We have one child who is only 9 months old. We have gone through alot together, and my husband suffers with undiagnosed manic deppression. He finally has it managed with medication. It really got bad last year while I was pregnant. He flies of the handle over the smallest issue. His voice was hoarse from yelling in my face. He says things to me that I probably would'nt say to my worst enemy. I never intentionally say things to hurt him, I could, but I dont. He has never hit me, and he points this out every chance he gets, but he doesnt realize how what he says is harmful too. I know I have resented him and grown away from him since this began last summer. He recently started this again and I dont think I could ever forgive him for the things he says to me. I know deep down I love him, and he loves me but I'm emotionally done.

Right now he is in Michigan fishing, and as of last night I talked him into counseling. After sleeping on it I completely changed my mind. I am planning on getting everything moved out by the time he gets home. I really do not want to cause any more drama. I feel like I am a very logical person and he is the complete opposite so I want to try not to make him angry.

All I'm asking for really is adice from those who have gone through similar situations.

I have been pretty much in your exact situation, except I didn't really love him, and while he says he loved me, he never acted like it until I threatened divorce. So I've been where you are (I'm not divorced yet, so it's very fresh still).

All I can say is - try counseling. It can't hurt at this point. Let me tell you, sharing your kids...missing out on huge chunks of their life...it's a million times harder than you think until you're there. 

I totally understand being emotionally done. I am, too. But I'd suggest that if he's willing to try, you might as well give it a shot.

Good luck!

rockabetty1

It's so hard to know when to let go. I don't really know what to tell you but I know how it feels when someone is yelling things to your face that you wouldn't say to your worst enemy. They don't get the hurt and pain they cause and it feels like it doesn't even matter to them. Sorry, but I've been there too and I still don't know what is best.