NCP and punishment

HisChamaoleGirl

DH and SS play xbox live together and DH has a family pack with SS on it. This means we pay for SS to have access to playing online. When DH was on the phone with SS last night SS was yelling at DH and overall being disrespectful. His behavior included hanging up on DH.

Disciplining SS from a distance is not really possible as BM wouldnt enforce any punishment in her home put out by DH (understandable I suppose). Anyway, DH decided to deactiviate SS online account for a week and explained to SS why.

When BM heard about this she became very upset with DH and demanded that he reactivate the account NOW. Do you think DH was out of line for his method of punishment?

Hopeforthebest

Not one tiny bit. I guess BM uses the game as a babysitter and was upset DH deactivated? Why else would she think she can DEMAND he reactivate something HE pays for. Ballsy.

CFjo2010

No, not at all.  If SS is going to be disrespectful and rude, then he should be punished.  It's not as though your husband disconnected the internet and now SS can't do homework; he disconnected access to a gaming system. 

What's annoying is that BM is upset about the gaming system being disconnected, but she's not upset about SS's behavior towards DH.  Did she offer any alternate punishment for SS's rudeness?

Ginlyn0

I think your DH implemented the only form of punishment he could given the situation and that BM needs to get over it. She could always pay small monthly fee herself and had absolutely no right to get upset over your DH's decision.

HisChamaoleGirl

Hopeforthebest:

Not one tiny bit. I guess BM uses the game as a babysitter and was upset DH deactivated? Why else would she think she can DEMAND he reactivate something HE pays for. Ballsy.

Ummm yes! sometimes when DH and SS are online DH will notice the time (we are on a different timezone) and will be like "hey SS, its 3am. Dont you have school tomorrow?" and SS quickly logs off.

HisChamaoleGirl

jobalchak:

No, not at all.  If SS is going to be disrespectful and rude, then he should be punished.  It's not as though your husband disconnected the internet and now SS can't do homework; he disconnected access to a gaming system. 

What's annoying is that BM is upset about the gaming system being disconnected, but she's not upset about SS's behavior towards DH.  Did she offer any alternate punishment for SS's rudeness?

She wasnt home for this conversation between SS and DH so in her mind it must not have happened. She is quick to say that DH is too hard on DH and that he must have done something to prompt the behavior.

HisChamaoleGirl

gin9874:

I think your DH implemented the only form of punishment he could given the situation and that BM needs to get over it. She could always pay small monthly fee herself and had absolutely no right to get upset over your DH's decision.

That wont happen. SS has been asking for years for xbox live and she always said ask DH for it. She actually asked for it to be factored in as CS.

Since DH gave it to him as a reward for doing well in school he removed it to not reward bad behavior.SS knows with his dad he has to earn rewards while in his moms house "all I have to do is cry until she gives me what I want."

Holly_1007

jobalchak:

No, not at all.  If SS is going to be disrespectful and rude, then he should be punished.  It's not as though your husband disconnected the internet and now SS can't do homework; he disconnected access to a gaming system. 

What's annoying is that BM is upset about the gaming system being disconnected, but she's not upset about SS's behavior towards DH.  Did she offer any alternate punishment for SS's rudeness?

this! especially the bolded! I think SS owes DH an apology, but don't cave on the 1 week  of being disconnected..

J&A2008

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:

DH and SS play xbox live together and DH has a family pack with SS on it. This means we pay for SS to have access to playing online. When DH was on the phone with SS last night SS was yelling at DH and overall being disrespectful. His behavior included hanging up on DH.

Disciplining SS from a distance is not really possible as BM wouldnt enforce any punishment in her home put out by DH (understandable I suppose). Anyway, DH decided to deactiviate SS online account for a week and explained to SS why.

When BM heard about this she became very upset with DH and demanded that he reactivate the account NOW. Do you think DH was out of line for his method of punishment?

DH = reasonable

BM = childish

J&A2008

*HiS ChAmAoLe GiRL*:

Hopeforthebest:

Not one tiny bit. I guess BM uses the game as a babysitter and was upset DH deactivated? Why else would she think she can DEMAND he reactivate something HE pays for. Ballsy.

Ummm yes! sometimes when DH and SS are online DH will notice the time (we are on a different timezone) and will be like "hey SS, its 3am. Dont you have school tomorrow?" and SS quickly logs off.

I would document this.

cole2144

DH pays for it so he can deactivate if he wants. I think that DH doing so is perfectly reasonable.

TheBuddha

Your DHs punishment is perfectly reasonable.

It's kind of amusing that BM ordered your DH to reactivate it.

bdbelladonna

I think H is justified in his action. I would not reactivate it. It is a privilege and SS does not deserve it right now. Way to go Dad for being able to execute a punishment even while SS is at BM.

Kaeldrasmommy

I actually think that it is wonderful and convenient that your DH has a long distance way to discipline his son. Good for him for using it!

DaringMiss

I would see if there is a way to set a time limit on the account so that SS can't stay on that late.

Jessys_Girl

Hopeforthebest:

Not one tiny bit. I guess BM uses the game as a babysitter and was upset DH deactivated? Why else would she think she can DEMAND he reactivate something HE pays for. Ballsy.

THIS!  LOL.  I'd have laughed in her face.  She can't demand that he re-activate something that HE is paying for.  it doesn't work that way.

HisChamaoleGirl

DaringMiss:

I would see if there is a way to set a time limit on the account so that SS can't stay on that late.

This is a good idea. I'll look and see if that is an option.

SusanH.

I think it was the perfect punishment!!  Considering how much of a to-do is being made of it being disconnected, he made his point!  Behave or you get something you really like taken away! (Thats what we do for punishment at our house)

Gotta love the mom for demanding he reinstate it. That would make me keep it deactivated even LONGER!!

 

 

kllrbnny

jobalchak:

No, not at all.  If SS is going to be disrespectful and rude, then he should be punished.  It's not as though your husband disconnected the internet and now SS can't do homework; he disconnected access to a gaming system. 

What's annoying is that BM is upset about the gaming system being disconnected, but she's not upset about SS's behavior towards DH.  Did she offer any alternate punishment for SS's rudeness?

This completely.