Help: WWYD

mwlove

DHs grandma passed away this weekend and the viewing and services are tomorrow.  The viewing is 3 hours with a one hour service afterwards. DHs family is expecting us to take our 3 month old DD. I wasn't planning on taking her because I feel it's not the place for her.  Not that she understands but for the respect of others....wonder if she's fussy because evenings are her more fussy times, where would I nurse her because some of his family is uncomfortable around me nursing, what about all the people and how people flock to babies and all the germs.  

 Also, DD will not take a bottle anymore. I breastfeed and she used to take a bottle when DH would feed her or when we would leave her with my mom, but now she just chews on it.  I stay at home so she is used to nursing a majority of the time. We have been working with her and trying various bottles and nipples but no luck so far.      

So what do I do tomorrow?  She's going to have to eat.  My parents have offered to watch her and that's where I would rather have her, but the whole bottle thing stumps me.  

 Any ideas? 

 

 

Neener73

How far away are your parents from where the viewing/service is being held?  If your parents live close enough, they could try the bottle and bring her to you if she won't take a bottle. 

If that's not an option, I would check to see if there was a room for you to breastfeed in that would be away from everyone else. 

myluckypig

I totally feel your pain.  My first would not take a bottle for the longest time! Eventually I had to go back to work and she had no choice but to take the bottle if she wants to eat.  The playtex drop ins worked best for both of my breastfed children.

If I were you I would probably go to the last hour of the viewing and the service (about 2 hours, right?).  Even if your LO is fussy and wanting to eat, she will be fine without nursing for 2-3 hours.  Hopefully your parents will be okay with dealing with a fussy baby..it will probably bother them more than you.  Have them call you if she gets super fussy and you can leave.  Everyone should be pretty understanding of you not being able to stay!

Oh...and if you are deciding not take LO just because his family is not comfortable with you nursing that is just ridiculous (not you..them)!!! I just can't imagine dealing with family who aren't supportive of breastfeeding! 

mwlove

Neener73:

How far away are your parents from where the viewing/service is being held?  If your parents live close enough, they could try the bottle and bring her to you if she won't take a bottle. 

If that's not an option, I would check to see if there was a room for you to breastfeed in that would be away from everyone else. 

 

My parents are only 15 minutes away so that could work too. 

lpope9608

Neener73:

How far away are your parents from where the viewing/service is being held?  If your parents live close enough, they could try the bottle and bring her to you if she won't take a bottle. 

If that's not an option, I would check to see if there was a room for you to breastfeed in that would be away from everyone else. 

This. Or if you want the baby with you, you can always go to the car to nurse. I do this all the time when I have places to go. 

lancyjo

If it were me, I'd take her. I wouldn't go until the last hour of the viewing though, and I would check for a private room that I could nurse in. (the staff at a funeral home is usually really accommodating) If not, I'd just nurse in the car.

As far as family members/friends wanting to hold baby, I'd just tell them that she's still small and you're not ready to hand her over yet. (this worked for me for an entire two months!) That's your prerogative as her mother. (just make sure your DH is on board with this)  

Good luck!

ETA: I would only want a private place for nursing because I am extremely modest. If you have no problem NIP, then by all means, do it. His family shouldn't make you feel bad/embarassed about feeding your child. There's about 100 reasons to back up your desire to breastfeed, and any of them would work should someone make an inappropriate comment. (a face punch might not hurt either... kidding!)

OUKatie

I have given this some thought as both one of my grandmothers and DH's grandmother are on the verge of passing at any moment. I am also EBF.

For the viewing, I plan to take DD with me and just ask about a private room or at least an out-of-the-way place where I can nurse her.

 If the service is at a funeral home, there is normally a little room for the family where you can take your DC if he or she is fussy during the service. Most churches have a cry room/mothers room, so that will work for that.

I am not comfortable nursing around many people and crowds make DD super fussy so she wants to comfort nurse a lot. Pumping is such a pain that I prefer to nurse her if I'm with her (plus, since she's really wanting to nurse for comfort, the bottle is a waste of time since she'll still insist on comfort nursing).

I want to take her with me (but also not have tons of people hold her...probably not an issue since she'll be super fussy) because funerals often bring together family that we wouldn't otherwise see frequently.