Late Term and Child Loss

Storing ashes

If you have baby ashes at home, where/how do you store them? Where do you get an urn that is an appropriate size? I am expecting a very tiny amount of ashes... We should get them within a few weeks. We don't have anywhere that I would want to bury them, and I don't want to spread them..... But I don't know what to do. Never expected to be making that decision.
image
Baby Boy born sleeping at 20 weeks.

Re: Storing ashes

  • We do.  Eliott's urn is on a shelf in our bedroom.  We had it in his nursery for a while, but DH moved it because he wanted it with us.  We ordered his urn through the funeral home that did his cremation.  It's a small heart (I can hold it in my hand) and it's inscribed with his name and birth date.  (((HUGS))).  I'm sorry you're having to make this decision too - you're right.  It's a decision I'd never thought I'd have to make.
    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
  • It's the worst decision we had to make and I'm sorry you have to do the same. We got the urn from the funeral home that cremated Jack. They have special small urns for children. Also, I have a necklace that I wear around my neck with some of the ashes. The urn and Jack's picture are on a shelf in our living room.
    Big hugs.
    TTC since November 2009. DH diagnosed with sperm antibodies. IUI #1 = BFN IUI #2 = BFN On the road to IVF.... Egg Retrieval Jan 21, 2011 16 eggs retrieved Egg transfer Jan 26, 2011 Only 2 viable eggs transferred. 1 IVF, 1 ICSI IVF #1 = BFP :-) 10/3/11 No heart beat at 38 weeks: Our baby Jack became an angel 12/14/11 = natural BFP Rainbow baby Samantha Jacklyn born8/8/12. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • Loading the player...
  • The funeral home where Devon was cremated had a couple of urns but encouraged us to find something else. We found a box at Hobby Lobby that we sealed with epoxy after we received his ashes last week; it has a little frame on the front, which we placed a picture of his footprint in. The box is sitting with his memory box and teddy bear he held at the hospital in my room. 

    I'm so, so sorry you're having to make this decision. Lots of hugs to you. 

    ________________________________________________________________________________


    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I looked and looked online for Bri's urn and finally saw one on ebay of all places! Her pink butterfly urn sits on a special shelf next to my side of the bed. I don't know if I will ever spread any of her ashes. I also have a butterfly urn necklace with some of her ashes that I wear every day.

    I know, I never thought I would have had to make this decision either. Never in a million years...I am so sorry. I hope you find the perfect one, it took me 3 months to find hers.

    Tim 12/30/00 Brad 4/30/02 Alex 9/29/03 Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
  • We did not like any of the urns at the funeral home. We ended up getting a silver box from Things Remembered that has inscribing on the top and pictures of her on all sides.


      Our Angel Patricia born sleeping 3/30/12 at 31 weeks
    Our Fighter Anna born early 1/8/13 at 26 weeks
    Hoping to bring home #3 due 9/9/15
  • We ordered ours online from Perfect Memorials.  They have a section of infant and child urns, some of which hold a very small amount.  I'm so sorry.  It's a decision no one should have to make.
    Missing our sweet baby, with us 20 weeks 4 days, born into Heaven 4/21/2012
  • We have Gabriel's ashes in an urn in our room.  His ashes are very small but we bought a rather large urn - it is a beautiful wooden box that has his name and the year 2011 engraved on it.  Even though it is much bigger than we needed, we got it because it matches FIL's urn, who died 4 months before Gabriel did. We like to think that Gabriel is with his grandfather in Heaven. 
    DD#1 11/7/04 DS#1 6/24/06 Chemical Pregnancy 6/08 DD#2 1/28/10 after secondary infertility, Clomid, & acupuncture missed m/c 6/2010 at 8 weeks (baby stopped growing @ 5.5) DS born sleeping 1/13/2011 due to cord accident at 22 weeks. DD#3 3/10/2012
  • We have Sylvie's ashes in the plastic container they arrived in from the funeral home. They are sealed with her name and I don't want to break the seal. Right now they are sitting on a dresser in our bedroom. Every now and then I think that I should do something more with them but I don't want to bury them and don't want to spread them.  DH and I have decided that whichever one of us dies first then her ashes will be combined with ours and buried with/as a part of us. I don't like the thought of her being alone.  So for now her ashes stay in the bedroom.

     

    BFP #1 - Missed M/C, D&C 3.21.11

    BFP #2 - Sylvie V. Q. born and died on 10.28.11 at 21w. Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BFP #3 - Evie V. Q. Fetal demise @ 16w. DC 7.8.12
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    BFP  #4 - Beatrix V. Q. Born 6.2.13 at 23w6d.
    image

    My blog My chart
  • I'm so sorry you are having to make these decisions, no one should have to go through this.  We have his ashes in a simple bamboo box/urn and for right now, it is kept in our china cabinet-mostly because this is the most organized place in our home.  We also purchased a hand carved american robin to place on top of his box. The urns that our funeral home had available were just not our style and they were adult sized.  The ones we found that were specifically for infants also seemed too small.  We found ours online at Memorials and it jewelry box sized. I also wanted to get a necklace to store some of his ashes, but we are only allowed to wear a plain wedding band at work so I figured I would wear it as much as any of my other jewelry (not much at all).  If you want, I have a list I of sites with urns and jewelry I can give you.
    BFP#1: EDD 10/11/11 Our sweet boy Robin was born 7 weeks a little early on 8/23/11 due to HELLP syndrome, unfortunately he was diagnosed with Trisomy13 and left us on 8/29/11. BFP#2: EDD 10/13/13
    thelossblog.blogspot.com
  • We picked out an urn from the funeral home where he was cremated. It is a silver vase. It's usually meant to put some of a person's ashes in (but not all, cause they wouldn't fit) but since his were so small they all fit. We keep flowers in the vase always. It couldn't be engraved so we bought an infant bracelet at Things Remembered and had his initials engraved on it, and then wrapped it around the vase. Sometimes I wear the bracelet too.

    Here's a pic:

    imageimage" mce_src="image"> 

    It was a gut wrenching process to be looking through a book of baby urns at a funeral home. None of the infant ones looked right for us; I just couldn't bear the thought of looking at a tiny baby boot or a block or figurine knowing my child's ashes are inside. We felt that with the vase, we could at least give him flowers all the time. I'm so sorry you're having to make this decision. Take your time; I hope you find something just right for you.

    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"