Sleep Training.....FAIL

mom2bemk

Today I decided I would try to put DD down for bed being awake but sleepy. So I fed her and rocked her a little bit then attempted to place her in her crib. She woke up and started crying, then sat up so I laid her back down and rubbed her head/back to help her calm down. This process went on for about 15-20 minutes which is longer than I normally take getting her to sleep by rocking. The last time she sat up she was crying like she was hurt and I knew she wasn't but I gave in and picked her up and rocked her to sleep. In 5 minutes she was asleep and I placed her in her crib and she has not been up again. So I guess I lost the battle tonight. I just can't seem to allow myself to let her cry like that when I know she needs (eh....wants) to cuddle and be rocked to sleep. I know the time will come when I need to teach her to soothe herself to sleep, but I think I'll wait a little longer. Ho hum.....

candylies

have you research sleep training methods? It makes it worse if you are not consistent with them. If you don't want to leave the room at first I recommend the Sleep lady Shuffle which is described in the book Good Night Sleep Tight.

ababymaybe

You don't need to lay her back down. I think that would tick my DS off actually. Ditto the consistency you don't want to send mixed messages. Also make sure she has some kind of safe lovey in the crib and it's dark, white noise etc to help improve your chances.

noahchristopher

It's HARD to hear them cry.  I really believe it gets harder the older they get. 

If you make a decision that you want her to learn to fall asleep on her own, stick with it.  Find a good method that you like (there are tons), and don't back down.  It works, it's liberating, and it's worth the effort and some tears. 

dragon_chica

Every child will respond to a specific method but the biggest thing is consistency.  If you don't stick with it (and this means for more than a few nights) it'll be worthless.

iverske9

You have to do what is right for your family but like the other women said, if you are not consistent you will just confuse LO. I did the Sleep easy method, but only after I read the book through and trough...otherwise I would have caved. A friend of mine told me something that kit a chord before I decided to do sleep training. She said "If you can get it done now it is easier than when they can scream out your name." It is hard enough to hear LO cry but I don't think I would have the willpower with him crying mommy.

dragon_chica

iverske9:

You have to do what is right for your family but like the other women said, if you are not consistent you will just confuse LO. I did the Sleep easy method, but only after I read the book through and trough...otherwise I would have caved. A friend of mine told me something that kit a chord before I decided to do sleep training. She said "If you can get it done now it is easier than when they can scream out your name." It is hard enough to hear LO cry but I don't think I would have the willpower with him crying mommy.

I wanted to second this as well.  I'm always telling this to my FTM friends.  These sort of things are always going to be hard but the sooner you do it the better.  Do it before they can say mommy.  Do it before they can climb!  The longer you wait the harder it'll be for you AND LO.  I've seen way too many friends who didn't stay strong and consistent and are still bedsharing with their almost 2 y/o because they didn't want to deal with the inevitable.  Now they want TTC for #2 and they have to first deal with sleep training.  We sleep trained DD at 6 months and DS at 9 months.  DD was a lot harder than DS but it was worth it in the end.

smilelari

I'm going to disagree with the sooner the better.  We very successfully sleep trained DS at 14 months using the sleep lady sleep shuffle.  He was old enough to kind of understand what we were doing and there were very few tears.  And if you wait it out a bit, it's highly likely you won't need to sleep train at all.  DD STTN and we haven't sleep trained.  We just followed through with all the stuff we learned with DS (like respecting naps, putting her down sufficiently early, changing things that aren't working, etc).  I still rock her to sleep, but in my experience, eventually she won't want me to rock her to sleep and that's when I'll stop.

Keep in mind that months 9-12 are peak months for separation anxiety, so you'll likely be more successful sleep training before you get to 9 months or waiting until the separation anxiety passes. 

ETA:  If you do decide to sleep train, I'm going to agree that you definitely need to be consistent.  Anything else is just confusing 

alber2am

It is soooo hard, we are going to be doing the same thing starting this week, he is so used to having a bottle to fall asleep and I want him to fall asleep on his own.  I hope we have better luck, but I'm like you and will give in, that is where DH comes in.

mom2bemk

Thanks everyone for your advice. I think I'll read up on it before trying again.