Venting

xcjump

So good news!  I had my A/S yesterday and we are expecting a baby girl!  From what they could see everything looked fine except she is in a breech position.   

On a separate note, I decided that I really want a water birth which is not offered at the hospital where I was doing to deliver so I am seriously considering switching to a birthing center with a midwife.  My husband and I are going to tour the facility on Wednesday.  My husband is completely on board with this. However, my mother is opposed to this.   She thinks I need a doctor, she doesn't think midwives are qualified.  It is quite the uphill battle to justify my choices to her.   I understand her concerns, but the birthing center is close to a hospital just in case there are complications and the midwife will go with you to the hospital.  I don't see the point in worrying about what could go wrong.  Many people have healthy births without interventions and I don't need to hear all the horror stories she knows about.   Anyone have any suggestions?   

breathlessbride

Please don't take this as criticism, but you say "it's quite the uphill battle to justify my choices to her."  So don't.  You don't need to justify your choices to anyone.  She is allowed to be concerned, but if she's stressing you out about it then you need to tell her that you've done your research and you're happy with your decision.

Unfortunately, this tends to be a test for advice on child-rearing as well.  "Are you SURE the baby can't have formula/cow milk/ice cream/whatever?"  

danienross

I wholeheartedly agree with PP.  Stop trying to justify your decision.  Most of my family members have made it clear that they think I'm crazy for planning a home birth this time.  And it definitely carries over to child-rearing.  Stand your ground and just stop discussing it.  I KNOW it's easier said than done but sometimes it's just necessary.

Hyaline

breathlessbride:

Please don't take this as criticism, but you say "it's quite the uphill battle to justify my choices to her."  So don't.  You don't need to justify your choices to anyone.  She is allowed to be concerned, but if she's stressing you out about it then you need to tell her that you've done your research and you're happy with your decision.

Unfortunately, this tends to be a test for advice on child-rearing as well.  "Are you SURE the baby can't have formula/cow milk/ice cream/whatever?"  

Exactly what I was going to say.  Let her know you appreciate her opinion, then do what you think is best.   

aylafsu88

breathlessbride:

Please don't take this as criticism, but you say "it's quite the uphill battle to justify my choices to her."  So don't.  You don't need to justify your choices to anyone.  She is allowed to be concerned, but if she's stressing you out about it then you need to tell her that you've done your research and you're happy with your decision.

Unfortunately, this tends to be a test for advice on child-rearing as well.  "Are you SURE the baby can't have formula/cow milk/ice cream/whatever?"  

 

Well said!!

nosoup4u

breathlessbride:

Please don't take this as criticism, but you say "it's quite the uphill battle to justify my choices to her."  So don't.  You don't need to justify your choices to anyone.  She is allowed to be concerned, but if she's stressing you out about it then you need to tell her that you've done your research and you're happy with your decision.

Yep, this. Tell her the matter is settled (if she asks), and leave it alone.

stahlop

Your mom had her children, now you are having yours.  You don't need to justify your choices.  My mom was so angry when we decided on a home birth.  She said I did it just to spite her and if the baby died it would be all my fault.  She's a little more on board this time around since we've done it once before.

xcjump

Thanks everyone for the advice I appreciate it!   I recommended some literature for my mom to read so hopefully that might help her be less critical.   I always thought I wanted an epidural until I started educating myself.   Either way, it is my choice and I am going to do what I believe is best for me and my baby!