Opinions needed. Please.

Gatorsgirl731

My 10yr old DS ADDADHD ODD has started asking questions about sex.  Without going into too much detail he has noticed that some things about his body "feel good".  Last night he told his dad about those things, he also went to his dad when he had questions about sex.  He has never asked me those things, and told his dad not to tell me.  MY mother (drama queen) is all up in arms because DS does not tell me about these "things".  I don't think it is a big deal.  It is a guy thing.  At 10 I didn't run to my dad and ask him about sex or god forbid my PERIOD, that would have been so embarassing.  I told her the same thing and her responce is still, basically I am detached as a parent, I should know, and I should be handeling this not his dad.

MY dad says no, DS should be able to ask anyone who he feels comfortable with.  I don't want to tell DS I know about these things because I feel it would break confidence with his dad, then who would he go talk to.  What are y'alls opinions on it?

***Side note when I say Dad I mean DS's step dad, he has never met bio dad, not by either of ours choice.  But stepdad is the only dad he has ever known.

 

 

funchicken

I think it's normal for a kid to feel more comfortable asking the same-sex parent questions like that.  I think it's fine for you and your DH to talk about how you want him to approach it, but letting your DH handle it seems fine to me.  It's great that your DS feels comfortable enough to ask his dad.  Ignore your mom. 

I used to teach in an afterschool program, and I remember when one of my middle school kids started her class about the human body she was very concerned because her mom worked a lot of hours and wouldn't be able to help her with her homework.  I asked her if her dad could help her and she rolled her eyes and said, "he doesn't know ANYTHING about it." 

goldenleaves

Of course he would ask his dad! It makes sense to ask the same sex parent. DH and I are hoping that our kids feel comfortable asking either of us when the time comes Well, I'm hoping. He thinks he will die if he has to talk to Lauren about sex, haha but were expecting Ryan to be more comfortable with him about it and Lauren with me.

MrsM507

I agree with previous posters - it is completely normal and healthy for a child to be more comfortable talking about certain things with the same-sex parent. As long as he knows he CAN talk to you, and does about other things - I would not worry about it at all!

Gatorsgirl731

Sorry I got wrapped up yesterday and could not get back on here to respond.  I am glad I asked I feel better.  Yesterday morning on the way to town DS and I talked.  I told him that I know he talks to his dad about certain things he does not feel comfortable talking about to me, and that is ok.  I said it was normal to feel uncomfortable telling your "mom" some stuff about your body, and it could be embarassing.  I also said that if he ever had a question and he couldn't ask his dad, he could ask me and I would not laugh or make him feel uncomfortable, that the important thing to me was he was getting accurate and truthful information.  Then I added (since he was going to grandmas) that if anyone ever asked him questions that made him feel uncomfortable all he had to say was " I don't feel comfortable talking about that with you, that is something I will talk to my dad about"  Then we practiced it.  Oh and I said, he should most deffinatly answer questions a doctor asks him, if DH or I take him there.  Just incase.