(Untitled)

dawnm975

twister22

Jessys_Girl:

I think i would approach it differently.  As a therapist, I'm a HUGE advocate of honesty and straight forward-ness. 

I would just tell her the truth.

"SD, i need to come clean about something.  I was concerned about you and I read part of your journal.  It was wrong of me to pry into your private business, and I hope you can forgive me.  Something I saw in your journal made me even more concerned and I wanted to make sure I talked to you about it.  I read X,Y,Z, and it scares me that you've had thoughts of hurting yourself before.  I know that snooping in your business wasn't the best way to find this out, but I'm glad that I did.  And I want you to feel like you can come to me with ANYTHING. 

 I agree with all of this. When I was a kid I kept a journal and my mom read through it. She then confronted me on things I wrote in there but denied reading the journal. I knew she had for various reasons, and I think things would have gone much smoother if she would have just been honest. Be open and honest with SD, and make her feel like you and YH are safe people to talk to. 

Holly_1007

twister22:

Jessys_Girl:

I think i would approach it differently.  As a therapist, I'm a HUGE advocate of honesty and straight forward-ness. 

I would just tell her the truth.

"SD, i need to come clean about something.  I was concerned about you and I read part of your journal.  It was wrong of me to pry into your private business, and I hope you can forgive me.  Something I saw in your journal made me even more concerned and I wanted to make sure I talked to you about it.  I read X,Y,Z, and it scares me that you've had thoughts of hurting yourself before.  I know that snooping in your business wasn't the best way to find this out, but I'm glad that I did.  And I want you to feel like you can come to me with ANYTHING. 

 I agree with all of this. When I was a kid I kept a journal and my mom read through it. She then confronted me on things I wrote in there but denied reading the journal. I knew she had for various reasons, and I think things would have gone much smoother if she would have just been honest. Be open and honest with SD, and make her feel like you and YH are safe people to talk to. 

I went through a rough patch in my teen years, and I also kept a journal and in hindsight, I'm sure my mom read it.  however, at the time: if she had confronted me and said she read it I would have immediately stopped writing in it.  so I guess its a personal choice and also depends on the relationship you have with SD.  

Jessys_Girl

The only reason I say take the honesty route is because i feel like if you lie and say you didn't read it, and then she realizes you DID read it, she knows she can't trust you and that you won't keep her confidence.  But if you're honest and admit you're fallible ("I read it and I realize I shouldn't have, that was wrong") and humble yourself with the apology, she might just think "Hey, ya know, maybe she does have my best interests at heart and can be trusted to talk to". 

lb1212

Jessys_Girl:

I think i would approach it differently.  As a therapist, I'm a HUGE advocate of honesty and straight forward-ness. 

I would just tell her the truth.

"SD, i need to come clean about something.  I was concerned about you and I read part of your journal.  It was wrong of me to pry into your private business, and I hope you can forgive me.  Something I saw in your journal made me even more concerned and I wanted to make sure I talked to you about it.  I read X,Y,Z, and it scares me that you've had thoughts of hurting yourself before.  I know that snooping in your business wasn't the best way to find this out, but I'm glad that I did.  And I want you to feel like you can come to me with ANYTHING. 

THIS!!! I've done the same thing! SD is 8 and it's always been cute to read what she writes, but right before our wedding, she mentioned that she was upset that none of her school friends could attend (her mom moved her 3 hours away) and that she felt that we loved DS more because some of his friends were IN the weddind party.  I told her that I read her journal and that it was wrong yada yada ya, but that I needed to talk to her about it. I told her that the main reason for DS friend's being in the wedding party had more to do with me being friends with their parents and less to do with them being classmates. Now obviously your situation is more serious, but to me, that means you have to be more direct and get SD talking!