Feeling like a failure!

TJ1979

Sorry for the poor poor me post, but I am feeling like such a failure. LO is not gaining enough weight, pedi thinks I'm not making enough milk. I'll start fenugreek today. He also thinks she has reflux, from the vast amounts she spits up he thinks this is contributing to poor weight gain. We got a script for Zantac, but I could not get her to swallow the dose, she kept gagging and letting it pour down her chin. On top of all this, my insurance got messed up bc they gave me the wrong number to fax her info to, so I had to pay OOP for her meds. And she cried the entire time we were at the pharmacy bc she was hungry. I actually had a man come up to me and suggest that I try to comfort her. Hello, like I'm not trying my best to comfort my screaming daughter?!?! She's finally asleep and I'm sitting on the couch crying.
I'm eating oatmeal daily, drinking a ton of water, mothers milk tea, and will add fenugreek today. Anything else I can do? Thanks for "listening" and any advice.

TJ1979

AmyG*:

hmmm....  if baby is spitting up a lot of milk, then you are probably making a lot of milk, don't you think?  Perhaps I should have clarified, it's more the frequency than the volume.  But it feels like she must be spitting up just about everything she eats.

tell me more about your weight gain issues, and lets see if it's really a problem or a perceived problem.   My concern is that she dropped from 8 lb 1.7 oz on Monday to only 7 lb 13 oz today.  Her growth curve is fairly flat.

consider a visit with an IBCLC asap for a pre and post nursing weigh in to see how much baby is getting at the breast. Weighed feedings have shown approximately 2.5 oz per feeding - these have all occurred at 10 am

how old is baby?  4 weeks 5 days

birth weight,  7 lb 3.3 oz

lowest weight  6 lb 11 oz when we left hospital

day milk came in  day 3

subsequent weigh ins  8 days = 7 lb 4.1 oz, 15 days = 7 lb 7.4 oz, 22 days = 7 lb 12.6 oz, 29 days = 8 lb 1.7 oz, 33 days = 7 lb 13 oz

and anything else.  I am pumping once a day in the morning after her first feeding to try to teach LO to take a bottle (I go back to work at 12 weeks.)  In the afternoons, evenings, and motn feedings, she gets fussy, pulls at breast, clenches fists, scratches at face, and grunts and whines - makes me feel like she's not getting enough at these feedings.  She eats about 10 times a day, every 2 hours all day, for an hour per feeding.  Sometimes she will sleep 4-6 hours at night, sometimes she's up pretty much all night (like last night) wanting to do nothing but nurse.

Thank you so much for your help here.  I am very frustrated and upset, and greatly appreciate your time.

jenniatlanta

Do not feel like a failure! You are doing everything you can do, and that makes you a great mom. I understand how you feel. We had similar issues. My LO didn't have the weight gain issues, however, I have the milk production issues and DD has reflux as well. She also takes Zantac. If she is having such trouble taking it through the dropper, first, try to place the dropper on the side of her mouth and SLOWLY push the meds in. Almost let her suck the meds out of the dropper. We had to let her dictate how to swallow it. Otherwise she would gag or spit it out. I also on occasion, if I don't feel like fighting with this process, will put the medicine in a bottle of pumped milk. The medicine has a slight flavor to it, but not enough to mess up the milk in my opinion. That way, she is eating and getting her medicine at the same time. It seems to have helped.

Once she eats, keep her propped up for at least 20 min. Even in the middle of the night. After BF, I would just cradle her and let her sleep (us sleep) in the chair for about 30 min. It helps with the spitting up.

As for the milk production.. you are doing quite a bit. I think most lactation consultants, which you can talk to, will tell you to try pumping more. I know that seems impossible, especially if you are bfing as often as you do. The fenugreek should help. I am taking this also, and it seems to help. You could make some Lactation cookies. I plan to make some this weekend. They are also suppose to help. They are basically Oatmeal Choc. Chip cookies with Brewer's Yeast and Flax Seed Meal in them. Both the Brewer's Yeast and Flax seed are suppose to help also. You can find several recipes online for the cookies.

Good luck to you. You are doing a great job. It is hard being a new mom. No one tells you ahead of time how hard the BF will be. It will get easier. Promise.

TJ1979

AmyG:

and if this is true
29 days = 8 lb 1.7 oz, 33 days = 7 lb 13 oz
I would go in for another weight check and ask for scales to be checked for accuracy.
for baby to LOSE weight unless you saw a huge drop in of wet diapers is just as likely to be a scale problem, or a serious reflux issue, not a supply issue at all.nbsp; cause your supply doesn't drop that suddenly to have that kind of drop in weight of almost 5 oz without noticing something different about baby.
was the 2 weights different times of day?
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She has at least ten wet dirty diapers a day, so that should be enough right? The weight today was earlier than the heavier weight on Monday, could it be bc she had eaten a couple more times Monday than she did today?
Even discounting that, she has not even gained a pound in her first month, is that normal for an EBF baby?
Thanks again.

TJ1979

AmyG:

It looks like she was gaining about 45 oz a week, which is in the realm of normal for a bf baby, especially a bf baby girl.nbsp; so that would be about a pound of weight gainfrom lowest weight, not from birthweight.nbsp; you can't count from birthweight even though that's what they chart on the growth curve, cause it may take 23 weeks for some babies to regain birthweight.
and yes time of day can make a difference of a couple of ounces, as can a big poop right before a weigh in.
Like I said I would check with an IBCLC for a pre and post nursing session weigh in on a very accurate scale, ideally a couple times at different times of day.nbsp; check supply and see what reflux meds do.
with that number of wet/poopy diapers I would say supply and milk transfer do not seem like problems but just to rule things out.
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Thank you so much. I feel much better now. I was counting from birth weight not her lowest weight, so that makes a difference. We will see how the meds help and go back in 2 weeks. Thanks again.