Kind of Frustrated

crene84

So, I'm still very excited about our match, but can't help but be a little frustrated by some things people are saying.  I guess I probably shouldn't have told so many people, though I didn't tell that many really, but everyone is stressing me out saying things like "I can't believe she didn't have an u/s, you need to get her one!" Or listing off all the things that could be wrong with the baby or things that could go wrong during  labor.  I have tried to get her in, but I just don't think it's going to happen.  I know some of you were matched with BMs that had little to no prenatal care and things worked out fine which gives me some comfort. This woman has had 3 healthy children and she claims to be taking care of herself, so I am trying to remain optimistic.  I know things could go wrong and it does worry me, but it's out of my control so why can't people just let me celebrate?!

Thanks for listening!

Mush-Tastic

I totally understand your frustration. I'd be peeved too. You just have to trust in your gut feeling with this situation and be confident in the decision you are making. And we are WICKED PUMPED for you, lady!!

Congrats!

DaisyZH

I know it's hard, but try and just nod politely and ignore it.  It seems like anything baby-related will get you 10,000 opinions not to mention the delivery horror stories.  The vast majority of the time everything goes well and the babies are born healthy.  If God forbid something were to go wrong, you can handle it as it comes, scaring you and stressing you out ahead of time doesn't do anything but make you upset. 

BostonLove11

I'm a worry wart by nature but honestly this is not one of the things I would really be concerned with. Many women across the world have no access to prenatal care and babies are born healthy the vast majority of the time. And our grandparents never had one ultrasound! So definitely don't waste your energy worrying about this.

Do you have a meeting set up with her? I bet you will feel a lot person once you talk to her in person. But go ahead and celebrate! Congrats!

crene84

BostonLove11:

I'm a worry wart by nature but honestly this is not one of the things I would really be concerned with. Many women across the world have no access to prenatal care and babies are born healthy the vast majority of the time. And our grandparents never had one ultrasound! So definitely don't waste your energy worrying about this. Do you have a meeting set up with her? I bet you will feel a lot person once you talk to her in person. But go ahead and celebrate! Congrats!

Originally it seemed like she'd want to meet, but now I'm not sure she wants to.  She's pretty laid back about all of this and super busy (single mom), so yea..I'm not sure we will meet before she goes into labor, yikes!

srmmm09

Don't worry; a lot of my friends don't have ultrasounds (the gals in the circles I run in have hippie-leanings with homebirths and a midwife and all that). I only had an ultrasound because I was too impatient to find out if he was a boy or a girl (I'm glad I did bc I had set my head on that he was a she, and he is definitely not!). Even some people might say I didn't have prenatal care because I didn't go to a doctor (though my midwife is extremely competent).

Some people, for whatever reason, like to focus on the negative. She's had healthy babies. As long as she's not being reckless with her body, I'll bet that baby is just fine. And since she's given birth before, I'll bet this birth will be nbd.

Congratulations, Momma! Is what everyone should be saying to you. harumph. Pregnancy is great, labor is a little crazy, birth is great. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BABY!

Dr.Loretta

To me, this is just the beginning of the mommy wars. You'll get criticized for everything from here on out.

 

Julie721

Ugh, This is along the lines of people's reaction to "we're adopting" being "now you will get pregnant" How hard is it to just say "congrats!!!!!"

 

People said some similar things to me, and I would always say that if this is the baby God intended for us, I don't care WHAT is wrong with him, he is our son. If he is healthy, we are thankful. If he isn't, we will cross that bridge when we get there like ANY PARENT would. 

I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!!

silliestbunny

Welcome to adoptive mommy-land... you'll soon learn that those who've not adopted don't understand much of the process.  For example, if you have any openness in your relationship, you will likely get criticism.

 Unless you've walked our journey, you don't "get it".

And don't sweat the US.... my only concern was that she really was pregnant   I kept giving  you all the negative nelly worries... those are what adoptive mamas sweat... the US... you'll be okay.

Enjoy the fun

MarionB79

As all the previous entries said, IGNORE THEM!

I know they think they are being helpful, but you know they are not. Sadly it is true though that once you are a parent these things start. I didn't believe it, but it honestly started the day off. And my ML still makes comments about how irresponsible DS BM was for not having any pre-natal care and how she just doesn't understand. I finally told her that I would appreciate to keep judgement to herself, because if she can't then this will mean she will simply be kept out of the loop. So if she wants to be in the loop, it needs to be without judgement.

I guess you can tell that this conversation happened when I had kind of had it. ;o) Good luck my friend, and don't worry too much!

My mom never had an US with me and if you think about it for most of the times the human race has been around, there were no US. )