Question for expecting fathers from an expecting mother.
KMalmquist
member
Can someone PLEASE tell me what the hell my husband is thinking?
Last night he had to work late and I perfectly understand. I tried calling/texting him at midnight and 2:00 a.m., no answer. He finally texts back at about 2:45 a.m. and tells me he is on his way home. I, of course, am furious considering I am having this baby in 4 DAYS AT THE LATEST and I couldn't get ahold of him!!! When I ask him where he'd been he said he worked until 11:30 or so, met up with a friend he hadn't seen in a while and drank too much and that he did not have his phone on him. Are you f-ing kidding me?????? He eventually got home at 3:30 in the morning. Let's not forget it was a Wednesday freaking night and he has to be a work today AND coach HS football at night.
All night I had no clue where he was as he never called/texted and he apparently has no regard for the fact that could have gone into labor at any moment. When I confronted him last night he said "I don't know what I was thinking." and "I thought it would be the last time I could go out like this". However, he has said and done this EXACT SAME THING 4 times in the past 3 months and everytime he has said "I figured it would be the last time I could do this for a while"-bull sh*t. That excuse is getting rather tired and it only made me more angry. Perhaps I've been too easy-going during my pregnancy and had too easy a pregnany and he doesn't think anything can go wrong but how dumb can you be? If any of his friends had acted like this he would have be disgusted with their behavior so why is it ok for him to do it to me...multiple times?
The last bit that REALLY ticks me off is he never would have acted like this with his first wife whom he hated through out their entire marriage. Do I have to act like her (a raging lunatic with hoarding and depression issues) to get him to not be such a selfish jerk when it comes to his "fun time"? It's like he doesn't think about anyone/anything else besides himself when he's having fun-it's incredibly immature and selfish.
What the hell makes a 37 year old man act like such a selfish, irresponsible, disprespectful, inconsiderate, juvenille a$$hole (especially considering it's not just me he leaving high and dry, there's the new baby now)??? Please, if anyone has any insight into his jacked up behavior I'd love to know.
Re: Question for expecting fathers from an expecting mother.
Since we aren't him, we can't do much other than offer potential theories. Your best bet is to ask him why.
Some theories might be:
- He's just getting it out of his system
- He's having issue dealing with the impending life change
- He's immature and has priorities out of whack
Thank you for your input. I assure you what I have written is correct and he would likely say the exact same thing considering I have had numerous calls, texts, emails etc telling me how "bad" he feels and how "embarassed" he is with his behavior and I'm going to see "big changes in his behavior" etc. Yeah right...
You are correct in that I would let him go out with his buddies post baby-I believe we both need fun time with friends (and together) before and after baby. I also asked him what he woud have done had I gone into labor while he was not answering his phone and drinking. I'm not even sure he thought about that being a possibility until I said brought it up.
Again thank you for your insights I really do appreciate the male perspective.
I'm gonna be devils advocate here, and say something is up. I def think something is going on. There is no reason to not answer a text from wife when hanging out with the buds. Even when my wife was not preggo, I had my phone on me just in case something happened to her.
That's just me though. I'm protective of my woman, and would rather I be available whenever she needs me.
Not answering your wife is a cop-out. If he is out drinking, and does not come home with alcohol on his breath, kick his ass out. It will only get worse after your new bundle of joy arrives. I hate to play that card, but I usually look at the bad side of everything. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.
Yep...I smell a rat. Sorry, but I think he's cheating.
I'm quite certain he's not cheating. Contributers should be a bit more careful of what they say considering a more insecure woman may listen to you all and not her instincts. In fact I know exactly who he was with and where he was and I have seen Facebooks photos of last night's activities.
Sorry paranoid nay sayers...he may be acting like an immature selfish ass but a cheater not so much. No wonder one of your names is sadsadie, I'd be sad if I thought like you too.
A) I'm mad at my husband not you. You're entitled to your opinion and I'm entitled to think your wrong.
C) It's far "nastier" to try to make me feel like my husband doesn't want ot come home because I hurt your little feelings.
D) Why are you, Sadie, even posting on a dad's page? I asked for a man's opinion. Do you have a penis? Are you a man? No, then I didn't ask for your opinion. And once again, that's not me getting nasty, just stating facts.
But here is me getting a little nasty. You, and people like you, are the reason other women don't post on the bump. You and your type deliberately try to make other women feel bad about their life to what, make you feel better about your sad little sadie life? You are predictable. Please honey (that's me being condescending and nasty), concentrate on your own life/marriage and get off the dad's page unless you are looking for a male perpective. Now, I have better things to do than deal with sad little girls, peace out.
Because that's how you get productive advice...
Ugh.
Maybe you should redirect all this anger towards your husband. He was the reason you asked the internet for the advice you obviously didn't want to hear.
It didn't show at the top for me until I switched my viewing preferences to sort by last post date instead of the order the threads were created.