Late Term and Child Loss

***PAL Check-In***

Hello Ladies.

Welcome to Thursday PAL Check-in! 

I hope everyone is having a good week. If anyone has any suggestions for questions, please don't be shy!

Where are you in your PAL journey?
 
What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?
 
QOTW: Does your loss affect how you feel emotionally when your other child(ren) gets sick or hurt?
 
Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
 
GTKY: What is your favourite scent to help you relax?

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Re: ***PAL Check-In***

  • Where are you in your PAL journey?

    My rainbow baby, Zachary, is just over 6mo. It has almost been a year and a half since I lost Ian. 

    What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?
     
    Zachary has been sick these last few days so that has been challenging. It has also given me another excuse to not move him into his own room yet. Sigh.... I know the longer I wait, the harder it will be. On both of us.  
     
    QOTW: Does your loss affect how you feel emotionally when your other child(ren) gets sick or hurt?
     
    Zachary has been sick the last couple of days. He has had an upset stomach for some reason but no fever or anything. I felt so helpless! I didn't know what to do for him. He had only had BM so I don't know what caused it. I had a small meltdown because it reminded me of how I felt helpless when I lost Ian and how there wasn't anything I could of done to save him. Then, he hit his head off of one of his toys pretty hard today. He now has a bruise over his one eye. Now that he is getting more active I know that I can expect these things to happen but I just want to cry with him! My heart hurts when he is sick or hurt. I feel like I'm not in control and it scares me. I know that I can't protect him from everything and I don't want to be one of those overprotective parents that won't let her kids do anything, but how do you not go crazy with worry all the time? I just want him healthy and safe!
     
    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
     
    See above. 
     
    GTKY: What is your favourite scent to help you relax?
     
    I love the scent of pears. 

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  • Where are you in your PAL journey?
     
    DD is 3, it's been almost 10 months since losing Nathaniel, and I'm currently 23 weeks 6 days pg w/ our rainbow.
     
    What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently?
     
    I was hospitalized last week for 6 days and had to be away from DD. I missed her so much! She came to visit but it wasn't the same. Now that I'm home I feel so lucky to be here and still be pg; all my frustrations about bed rest before have been washed away.
     
    QOTW: Does your loss affect how you feel emotionally when your other child(ren) gets sick or hurt?
     
    I do worry more that something really bad will happen to her but I try not to go there. It's an abyss I don't want to wander into.
     
    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week?
     
    Approaching V-day. Happy to be near my little girl again! Preschool starts in 2 weeks which will be bittersweet, especially since I won't be able to take her on her first day Crying
     
    GTKY: What is your favourite scent to help you relax?
     
    Lavendar.
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  • Where are you in your PAL journey? It has been a little over 4.5 years since we lost Jack. DD will be 3 in Oct, and I am 8wks pregnant (I feel odd posting on PGAL check-in since this isn't technically my "rainbow" baby)
     
    What are some PAL challenges you have faced recently? Still coping with being pregnant with baby# 3, but knowing that if all goes well, there will only be 2 babies for me to hold. I asked DD last week if she wanted to a brother or sister (her answer changes on an hourly basis) and on that particular day, she said she wanted a brother. I tried to explain to her that she already has a brother...that Jack is her brother, but of course she didn't understand, and it breaks my heart.
     
    QOTW: Does your loss affect how you feel emotionally when your other child(ren) gets sick or hurt? I worry a lot when she gets sick. DD has a heart murmur and the cardiologist has told us numerous times that it won't effect her in any way, but I worry that there will come a day when a flu/cold/fever will put too much strain on her heart somehow and I will end up losing her. 
     
    Open Topic. What is on your mind this week? I'm missing Jack a little more then usual this week. As I mentioned in last weeks check-in, DH started back to class this week. And his whole reason to go back to school was for Jack (the day Jack died, DH turned to me and said he had to do something with his life to make his little boy proud of him). And DH is doing great in school...is on a scholarship, etc. And I can't help but think how proud Jack would be of his Daddy. But then again, I know Jack would have been proud of his Daddy no matter what.
     
    GTKY: What is your favourite scent to help you relax? Hmm..good question. There is not one scent..there's a whole list. I love the way DD smells after a bath, and I love holding her and smelling that J&J baby shampoo :)
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  • imagejulesverne:
     
    QOTW: Does your loss affect how you feel emotionally when your other child(ren) gets sick or hurt? I worry a lot when she gets sick. DD has a heart murmur and the cardiologist has told us numerous times that it won't effect her in any way, but I worry that there will come a day when a flu/cold/fever will put too much strain on her heart somehow and I will end up losing her. 
     

    I am PGAL, not yet parenting, just lurking on this post I guess. I just wanted to share that my youngest sister has a heart murmur. She had an angioplasty (balloon sent up her thigh to her heart to open the valve) when she was only a few months old. My mom was scared she was going to be one of those kids that dropped dead on the basketball court (a similar story was in the news when I was young). My sister is now 19, plays softball in college, is very active and healthy. I don't know if my mom still worries, I imagine as a parent that it would be impossible to stop, but sometimes I feel like hearing "success" stories help ease the worry a little. It is nice to know people have gone through something and made it out the other side, which I guess is kind of the point of these boards.

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