My SIL is a dope... (EP)

BeesMomma00

My SIL gave birth to a boy yesterday, my first nephew.  She has it in her head that she will exclusively pump, yet she hasn't pumped an ounce since he was born (24+ hours). There is no reason for her to pump vs breastfeed except that it's her choice. Fine, I respect that everyone has a choice.  But...

I feel like she has no idea what she is in for and has read nothing and gotten zero advice.

1) I assume it's not too late to get started?

2) Any advice I can give her?

ETA:  For the record, I have nothing against her decision to pump. I just feel like she is going into this blind and doesn't realize the commitment involved with EPing.

kalette

Well, it won't nessecarily be bad.. I EPed since day two and its been the best possible thing I could have done. If she wants to do it, I say support her! And share this: https://forums.ivillage.com/t5/Exclusively-Pumping-Intros-Chat/Updated-Beginner-s-Guide-looking-for-input-and-any-additions/m-p/116687945/message-uid/116687945#U116687945

BeesMomma00

Thank you.  I think I needed that.  She doesn't have a lot of intelligent support around her.  I think what scares me is the advice I got about needing to nurse right away.  Making sure your supply got started, etc....

I was worried for her sake that by waiting too long, she would "mess things up" for herself.  I also know how hard it is to keep up a supply by pumping.  Not impossible, but demanding. 

I hope it all works out for her.

Admittedly, I was a bit heated when I posted this because I had just spoken with my Brother who was telling me that she hadn't read anything or talked to a Lactation Consultant at all.

Sigh.

emu0013

I had to pump from day one due to my baby being early and really small and breastfeeding too exhausting for her. It's really not that bad, especially if she is returning to work. I don't think she is a dope.

ColesMommy0606

I EP'd after 4 weeks with my first and my life was a living hell. I'll admit, at first EBF with my second was difficult but now I will take it over EPing any day. It's a personal choice and I agree in the beginning it can be a lot easier but once your baby gets mobile it's very difficult. There were many nights I was home alone, my baby was in the bouncer crying and I was pumping. Also, the sheer amount of time to pump, clean the pump, bag and label everything, make a bottle, clean the bottles, sterilize the bottles, etc OMG. My son would not drink out of the Medela bottles I pumped into so I had to pour the milk into Dr Brown bottles with 5 parts each. 

I think if she really wants to EP, that's fine, and I'm glad to hear there is support out there for her. It was very difficult for me and people questioned me everyday for doing it. 

bigbootyjudi

I EBFed for three days and started EPing on the fourth. My EPing journey (all 3 weeks of it) has been fairly easy and I'm actually overproducing, so it's not too late for her. Her milk isn't even in yet if she just had him 24 hours ago. I'd have her talk to an LC in the hospital (one will probably come by anyways, they did rounds at my hospital). She might change her mind after she realizes what a commitment it really is, but you're right, it's definitely something she needs to be informed about. When her milk comes in, she should be pumping for at least 15 minutes a side every 2 hours and she should get a good pump (Medela In-Style is a popular one).

sadsadie

Yeah, I'd agree with you, she sounds like a dope, especially if she isn't at least breastfeeding her LO for the first few days to get her milk supply started (and to give LO that wonderful colostrum).  EPing is really hard; I don't know too many people that would willingly choose that as their primary form of feeding if they've read and learned enough. Also...I really don't understand how people can have a baby and yet have read NOTHING about it; not about labour and delivery, not about breastfeeding, not about infant needs...nothing. It just pisses me right off. C'mon people, get with the program; educate yourself about your infant and the various care choices you will have to make! Picking up a book is NOT hard, but it could save you a lot of time, worry, stress and unnecessary trips to the doctor. Grrr....

 Okay, rant over!

BeesMomma00

sadsadie:

Yeah, I'd agree with you, she sounds like a dope, especially if she isn't at least breastfeeding her LO for the first few days to get her milk supply started (and to give LO that wonderful colostrum).  EPing is really hard; I don't know too many people that would willingly choose that as their primary form of feeding if they've read and learned enough. Also...I really don't understand how people can have a baby and yet have read NOTHING about it; not about labour and delivery, not about breastfeeding, not about infant needs...nothing. It just pisses me right off. C'mon people, get with the program; educate yourself about your infant and the various care choices you will have to make! Picking up a book is NOT hard, but it could save you a lot of time, worry, stress and unnecessary trips to the doctor. Grrr....

 Okay, rant over!

This is what I don't get about her.  Everything I've read was pretty serious about getting started right away, whether it is breastfeeding or pumping.  She's done neither.  When I talk to her about it, she's just so Laissez-Faire like "Oh, I'm just going to pump."  And I'm thinking - "REALLY, you do realize that the time commitment to exclusively pump is HUGE, plus the bottle cleaning, plus the pump parts cleaning, plus the time spent actually feeding the baby while either attached or unattached to the pump???"

As you said, I cannot imagine someone CHOOSING to EP "just because".  I pumped for 7 months every day so my LO could have BM for daycare.  I started strong, 3x a day, then 2x, then 1x.  I just had enough of the pump.  Maybe she's stronger than I am but I grew to HATE my pump and it became something I had to do and didn't want to do.  I stopped one month ago and have been giving my LO formula at daycare or when with a sitter.  I still BF whenever we are together, but I'm much happier now that I don't pump.

Anyway, it's not really the choice she's making as much as it's her nonchalance and lack of information regarding the choice.

Nicolewinsbingo

I guess I just don't get it.  What is she feeding this kid??  Formula?  Nothing?  At a bare minimum she should be expressing colostrum to feed the baby (in my opinion), even if she doesn't plan to BF OR pump.  Also, she needs to get her supply going, ASAP!  What's the hold up?  I have heard delaying starting to nurse or pump past 48 hours has a seriously damaging effect on milk supply.

Jlobebe2012

I EP, again not by choice, but it is works best for DD and I. She was early and a small lazy eater.  It is a huge time commitment, in the beginning I literally pumped every 2 hours to establish my supply, overnight, every 2 hours for the first 12 weeks, and now almost 7 months in my journey I pump 4 times a day, and get about 5 oz extra a day to freeze. Pumping does have some advantages, but you do have to put in the work in the beginning to establish and secure your supply.

 

I would recommend her using a hospital grade pump while she is in the hospital. She should be able to rent one. She will not get a lot in the beginning, that is normal, but if she puts forth the effort, it is not impossible. Also, there are lots of tips and tricks to help save time while pumping. The site referenced above is wonderful. She can refrigerate pump parts ect. The best thing for you to do is support her. Breast milk is the best thing for a baby, whether the baby is drinking from a breast or a bottle, it does not change the nutritional value of the breast milk.