XP: Holding in pee all day

NJLH

Morning. I've posted many times about my potty woes. My girls are over 3.5 now and still struggling. One of my girls holds her pee for hours at a time then explodes in her pants. She had a uti earlier in the summer and the dr told me to take a break. I'm trying again. She is so damn stubborn that it's killing me. We're staying in the house for a few days which is torture enough. Getting her to even sit on the potty is a struggle, even with all the bribes and distractions in the world. The dr suggested letting her take the lead and not reminding her. I'm trying but she's just dancing around, crossing her legs and not going near the potty. Has anyone else gone thru this? I dont want to put her back in pullups. Seriously, whats wrong with these 2?

ldcoffel

Can she explain why she won't go near the potty? Is she scared? Is she too busy doing something more fun? Is she doing it to get attention?

NJLH

I dont think she's afraid of it. She's used it before (with pressure from me). The dr said she could be resistant because I pressure her. So I'm trying to lay off the reminders. I feel like its just a big power struggle. I'm just sick watching her holding it in. I've asked her gently if she'd like to go and get a big no. I'm at a loss :-(

ldcoffel

DD was a power struggle, then just came to her. Sorry, kids can be really frustrating sometimes. What bribes have you used? Stickers, sticker chart, candy, new panties?

NJLH

Thanks for listening to my woes! We've done stickers, candy, toys she wanted (Little Ponies, dolls, ...displayed in her face...). My MIL even promised her an IPAD (the womans almost 80....not sure she understands what that is). But nothing works on this stubborn kid.

KathrynMD

Stop bribing her, stop talking about and I wouldn't even stay home.  Serioulsy - drop it.  You can GENTLY remind her to use the potty, mention she can use it if she wants, etc.  You are putting way too much importance on this and your LO is totally reacting to it.  She's her own person and will use the potty when she's good and ready - there's not much you can do.

Let her take the lead and act like you don't care.  When she has an accident, don't make a big deal about it, but slowly help her clean up and make her do a good bit of the work too - make her go find dry underpants, wipe her own legs, etc, etc.  When she does use the potty, congratulate her and give her a high five, but don't make too big a deal about it either. 

francophonia

KathrynMD:

Stop bribing her, stop talking about and I wouldn't even stay home.  Serioulsy - drop it.  You can GENTLY remind her to use the potty, mention she can use it if she wants, etc.  You are putting way too much importance on this and your LO is totally reacting to it.  She's her own person and will use the potty when she's good and ready - there's not much you can do.

Let her take the lead and act like you don't care.  When she has an accident, don't make a big deal about it, but slowly help her clean up and make her do a good bit of the work too - make her go find dry underpants, wipe her own legs, etc, etc.  When she does use the potty, congratulate her and give her a high five, but don't make too big a deal about it either. 

 

This. Get her involved in cleanup. That way she knows that she's responsible for her own mess.

WiggleBaby

my DD loves the DVD "Potty Power"... it has *real* kids showing what to do and we've sang the songs from it for years now.  our library had it.  give it a shot - we dont even watch much TV around here but it was extremely worth it.  i've recommended it to everyone i know!

also i guess it's different since my DD was very young (under two) but we would bring the tiny potty around with us in every room.  so i never took my eyes off her, and as soon as she started to pee i'd help her sit on the potty.  i dont know if it would work at this age - especially if she's resistant - but the benefit of it was that they do not have to leave whatever they are playing with.  then you can gradually move the tiny potty to the corner of the room, then to the hallway, then to the bathroom. 

the only "reward" she got was a big hug and a happy potty dance we made-up which made her laugh hysterically.  no pressure!  she can sense it when you get anxious, try really hard to stay calm, i know it can be so hard!!!  good luck