Breaking up with a therapist is hard! — The Bump
Special Needs

Breaking up with a therapist is hard!

Whew. Urgh. I just got off the phone.

We've been using RDI as our core therapy, but DH has been lagging and lagging on it. We don't have a whole lot of options in our area, and our first choice actually filled up before we could let her know we wanted to work with her.

Our second choice in therapists is very competent when you get face-to-face with her, but her practice is rife with billing issues (we've gotten more incorrect than correct bills from them in a year+). DH felt like when he did participate, she talked mostly to me. Which is true. And didn't make him feel like part of the process or really encourage him. 

We hooked up with a very experienced child psychologist who was getting her DIR certification and was available on weekends; she's very good, DD1 loves her, and DH likes and respects her (so do I). So we're breaking off RDI and switching to more DIR. 

I know it's the right thing for our family in terms of less travel, more consistency and more engagement/buy-in from DH -- DD1 responds to either method, so I'm less concerned about that. The child psych knows the SLP that we're also doing Floortime with, and they likely will coordinate some things. I'm also working with our SLP to set up regular therapy-based playdates for DD1 that she's going to help me facilitate. And the child psych is actually looking at doing some research projects through her practice, which may mean opportunities for us to try some things with DD1 that we otherwise wouldn't. 

I really do think that it's a therapy adjustment that needed to be made. But ugh, I'm not good at break-ups and that's what the phone call felt like!

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DD1, 1/5/2008 ~~~ DD2, 3/17/2010

Re: Breaking up with a therapist is hard!

  • Ugh- I agree. I broke up with a therapist that was incredibly nice but I just didn't feel like we were getting anything out of it. She never gave me any feedback, it was always "WOW- DS is doing so great, he's amazing!" without really any advice about how he could get better. I didn't think it would be a big deal when I told her we were going to discontinue services, but she took it really hard. She sent us a personal letter saying she loved working with DS and hoped we'd reconsider. At that point we had already moved on, so I had to awkwardly explain we were already committed elsewhere and it was more convenient, blah blah. She still sends us Christmas cards and asks for updates on DS. I feel like a total jerk, but it was necessary because our current therapist is very open about what they are working on and what DS needs to work on at home.
  • It is hard. I had to do that recently with one of ds2's therapists. I told her we really enjoyed getting to know her, but having him see three different therapists wasn't going to work well for us in the long run. She got defensive stating that she hadn't heard anything from her boss and that I needed to call her boss to explain the change. I understand from her point of view, she should be informed by her boss, but she just made me feel like my choices as his mother didn't matter. Thankfully, we got it all straightened out.
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