XP: TTCAL - for those who are TTC or have gone on to get pg again

ILoveRedVino

My OB suggests a year.  I was thinking like 3 months.  How long did you wait?

In no way will I ever replace this baby - that isn't our intention.  BUt we are in this place because we wanted a child and that hasn't changed.

Williamandshawnna

We are waiting 6 months after our triplet loss at 19.5 weeks. Mainly to get into shape to do IVF #2 and to give ourselves some emotional time. Also I work in the retail industry, I was not going to attempt IVF during the Holiday madness.

-Shawnna

medblais

I had an infant-loss, and I waited awhile (a couple months) just to ask the question. My midwife responded with "I wouldn't be upset if you were pregnant now!" But for best case scenarios she suggests waiting 6 months at least between full term pregnancies. My DH and I decided days after our baby died that we did still want to have more children, just we both needed to be ready. I wanted to wait at least a year, to experience all the milestones without my baby and without crazy pregnancy hormones making everything worse. The month after my DD's birthday, and during the actual vacation we took from reality to deal with the anniversary of the day my baby died, we started trying again. It took us 2 months to get our BFP. I am glad we waited, as now I am almost 9 weeks pg, and in a much more positive place than I thought I could be. I had a mini panic attack today on the way to the first appointment as I was positive there wasn't going to be a heartbeat (there is one! all looks good!), but over all, I am not as scared on a daily basis, and I feel mentally strong enough to have a healthy and mostly happy 9 months.

The only advice I can give you is to think about what you are feeling, and how a pregnancy could affect that. IMO it is very important to address your grief, and your loss, before you become pregnant again.

dandywarhol

I would want to know why the OB suggested waiting a year. My OB suggested waiting two cycles following our loss at 12w (d&c), "as soon as we feel ready" following our loss at 21w (with vaginal delivery) and two cycles following our most recent loss at 16w (d&c).

lmielocl1

We lost our baby boy at 18w and our OB first told us 2 months, but when she saw me at my post partum appointment a few weeks after our loss, she asked me if I wanted to go on BC pills as I was not emotionally doing very well.  She thought I should wait until I was emotionally feeling better so she did not give us a # of months to wait -- she was more concerned with my emotional well-being than anything.

When I met with our RE at the end of July, about 5 weeks after our loss, we came up with a plan to start in the middle of September as long as I am emotionally ready.  My RE too is concerned about me being emotionally ready.   I think I am so we are planning on starting our next cycle mid-September, which would be 3 months after our loss.  

For me, it is also my age that I think my drs are OK with me starting to try earlier than they might have recommended if I were a little younger. I will be 40 in September and they know that I only have so much time.  If I were a little younger, I would probably be waiting a little longer as well.   

I think this was mentioned in an earlier post-- if I were you, I would want to understand why your OB is thinking a year and if TTC earlier would pose any potential risks to you and/or a future baby.   

Wishing you the best! 

a&aw12707

I agree with PP, I would ask the OB why s/he wants you to wait that amount of time. DH and I were first told 36 months, but after all of my labwork came back normal, my OB cleared us to try whenever we want. I also think it depends on how things look medically for you. You could also try a different dr for a second opinion.

Bayberry12

This was one of my first questions for my Dr.  My loss was full term, and my MFM Dr. did say that ideally I should wait a year, but because of my age (33) 3 - 6 months would be fine.  My OB suggested waiting a little bit longer than 3 months, and I wasn't really emotionally ready at 3 months, so I am hoping to start trying around the 5 month mark.  

julesverne

My son died when he was 9 days old, and the Dr told us to wait at least 6 months to be physically ready, and 1 year to be emotionally ready.

We ended up waiting a year and I am glad we did. It gave us time to heal a little bit and to get our lives back to normal (or at least as normal as things would ever be).

 

jbranden12

I had a smooth, uncomplicated delivery with a very short recovery time. My ob said to wait one full cycle. I got my first pp period about 9 weeks out. We didn't avoid that cycle, but we didn't get pg. When I got my 2nd period, we did a medicated cycle and were successful. So, about 4 months out. I stayed on prenatals the entire time.

mollywobbles13

I agree with PP, ask your doctor why a year. I've heard some doctors suggesting longer times to have the mother heal emotionally. I think I'm not the typical story. I delivered my daughter at 36 weeks with an uncomplicated birth. I had my PP appointment 4 weeks after and my body was back to normal already. My OB said wait until after my first cycle which I did. We started trying after that and I got pregnant that first cycle trying. I'm now 18 weeks pregnant. I know it will be hard to wait but if you need to in the long run it will be best for you. I will say the emotions of being pregnant again so soon were very rough to deal with in the very beginning. They are much better now though.

figgs0831

I was pregnant 3 months after my first loss.  The doctor told us to wait 1 cycle.

This time around, I was told to wait 6-9 months.  We waited 6 months before activley TTC.  But... I now have PCOS that can't seem to be controlled, so I have a feeling we will be TTC for much more than the recommended 6-9 months.

weddedwife

I would ask why also. We were told to wait "a couple of cycles". I had a vaginal delivery with postpartum hemorrhage, followed by a d&c. We waited 4 months.

Cranang

This is a very personal decision and I think it's different for everyone.  Celeste was stillborn on October 31, 2010.  Our rainbow baby, Sabrina, was born October 27, 2011.

AquaFlowers

We're waiting 4 months, and even then we'll see if we're ready.

SweetBaby2004

*Rainbow Baby mentioned

Has your doctor said why he/she wanted you to wait? 

After we lost our son at 22 weeks, our dr told us to wait 3-6 months to TTC.  She said this to allow us time to grieve and not try to immediately replace Gabriel with another pregnancy and to allow my body time to heal.

We started TTC at 3 months and we got a BFP 6 months after we lost him. It was hard to wait the three months and disappointing when it didn't happen right away, but the timing ended up being for the best.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

LoveOfMikesLife

****siggy rainbow baby picture warning ******

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I was told to wait a year at first too. When I questioned it my OB said she wanted to makes sure that I would be emotionally stable and ready for a new pregnancy. After holding a new born 3 months after my loss I spoke to her again and she said that when my cycle regulated that we could try again.