Late Term and Child Loss

Dealing with the Guilt

A quick Intro:

 I delivered my twin boys on December 31, 2011. Graham was still born due to lack of oxygen. We got to bring Gavin home 10 days later and are blessed beyond measure to have him.


I feel guilty ALL the time. I feel guilty for laughing and having fun with Gavin because I am not remembering Graham in those moments. I feel guilty for missing Graham because I have a beautiful baby in front of me. Every new milestone Gavin reaches breaks my heart and that make me feel guilty too.

I know there is no manual to this new life, but it would sure help to have one! 

Re: Dealing with the Guilt

  • I asked question about guilt just a few days ago. I am new to this, but one response really got to me.

    Someone said thy we aren't moving on, but movin forward.... And that love comes with us. It really stuck with me.

    Just FYI, guilt is a normal part of any grief. My grandpa died at 90 yrs old, and Grandma feels bad enjoying life. Just know.... It is normal.
    Baby Boy born sleeping at 20 weeks.
  • ***Rainbow pregnancy mentioned***





    I'm so sorry for the loss of your sweet son, Graham.  We're still waiting on our "rainbow" baby, but I think about those feelings a lot.  I feel like I'm hurting Eliott by being happy/excited about this pregnancy, and it's hard to deal with at times. 

    (Edited to include warning)

    Mom to Eliott Alexander, born sleeping at 37 weeks on 8/13/10. Most of us only dream of angels - I held one in my arms.
    BFP #2 - EDD 2/26/12 M/C 6/28/11 @ 5w2d
    BFP #3 - EDD 4/7/12 M/C 8/2/11 @ 4w2d
    Too beautiful for this earth
    BFP #4 - EDD 12/09/12, Lucille arrived 11/26/12
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