What a mean $#%@@ to her own kid-little long sorry

Hopeforthebest

Last night DH called SS. He had spoken to him the night before (it was SS birthday) but SS had friends over and understandably was distracted and silly and not focusing on talking to DH. They spoke for a few moments and SS hung up abruptly. No biggie.Except DH didn't get to say "I love you" before he got hung up on and he hates that since we are long distance.

So last night's call starts with SS saying "sorry I hung up on you last night daddy, mommy told me to". DH shocked- asks SS "what did you say buddy?" and the phone went on MUTE (you can tell when it gets dead silent no backgound noise at all and no responses from SS while DH is saying hello hello hello). SS came back on the phone and said nevermind. DH says again, sorry buddy I didn't hear you what you said.SS hems and haws so DH stops him and says "nevermind buddy I understand what's going on". SS burst into tears at this point. (DH said right before that he could hear mumbling from BM as she was obvioulsy coaching him what was ok to say and what wasn't).

Then the phone disconnects. DH waits a little while 10 mins (so SS can compose himself) and calls back. No answer. He waits another half hour and calls back - no answer.

DH was NOT the cause of the tears, it was BM. We've seen it on Skype time and time again and now the phone where SS accidentally says something she doesn't like and she upsets him to the point of tears.

I don't know what else we can do to help her understand these kids are being harmed by her idiotic behavior. She has outright sent in written message form that she "will always keep them from telling him things that don't concern him". That is a direct quote. His response to her was that everything about the kids concerns him. DH doesn't ask anything about her or their house, just the typical, how was your day, what did you do this weekend type stuff. There is no reason for her to be this way.

UGH I'm so tired of fighting. We are so broke from all the legal battles. I just wish she would grow up and we could all move on.

 

FutureMrsWittig

Don't we all wish!  But you can't change her, only how you react to her.  And the more she knows this kind of sh*t bugs your H the more she is going to do it.  Because all she sees is that she is punishing him.

Do you have a non-parental alienation clause in your CO?  If you do, document this every time it happens and save your money to file a contempt charge.

Holly_1007

oh poor little guy!! how old is he? maybe if SS stands up to her and tells her to back off she will? I couldn't imagine making my kid cry because of something he was saying to his dad!! ugh

Hopeforthebest

We just found out how to record Skype and did so last weekend, because she's completely keeping DH's 4 year old daughter off Skype and unavailable for phone calls. We don't record phone calls but have lots of emails from the past where he implores BM to stop the games and she just ignores him.

As far as the CO, it is the standard language that states the children have rights to have a separate relationship with each parent without fear of reprisal, etc.

SS just turned 8.

 

 

twister22

Continue to document. Since you said you knew how to record skype calls but not phone calls I would recommend trying to mostly skype. How do you record the skype calls?

Hopeforthebest

twister22:

Continue to document. Since you said you knew how to record skype calls but not phone calls I would recommend trying to mostly skype. How do you record the skype calls?

Skype was a huge thing in their divorce that she fought against. In the CO it states Sunday evening for Skype (so he is only entitled to one night a week) and then phone calls the rest of the time.

To record Skype you have to download an app. Apparently there is more than one you can use. I'm not sure which one DH downloaded but it worked perfectly.

cole2144

Hopeforthebest:

We just found out how to record Skype and did so last weekend, because she's completely keeping DH's 4 year old daughter off Skype and unavailable for phone calls. We don't record phone calls but have lots of emails from the past where he implores BM to stop the games and she just ignores him.

As far as the CO, it is the standard language that states the children have rights to have a separate relationship with each parent without fear of reprisal, etc.

SS just turned 8.

Are you letting BM know that you are recording the calls? You may want to be careful with that as you can get into some sticky legal issues if you are recording without her knowledge.

 

 

Hopeforthebest

cole2144:

Hopeforthebest:

We just found out how to record Skype and did so last weekend, because she's completely keeping DH's 4 year old daughter off Skype and unavailable for phone calls. We don't record phone calls but have lots of emails from the past where he implores BM to stop the games and she just ignores him.

As far as the CO, it is the standard language that states the children have rights to have a separate relationship with each parent without fear of reprisal, etc.

SS just turned 8.

Are you letting BM know that you are recording the calls? You may want to be careful with that as you can get into some sticky legal issues if you are recording without her knowledge.

 

 

We aren't Skyping her so not sure if that would be a problem, but will definatley check into it.

kllrbnny

wendilea:

I agree, document it and file contempt.  I don't know if you can record phone calls or skypes, but if you can, do it.

Don't record phone calls unless the BM knows about it. My ex did this w/out my knowledge for years and the judge was none too pleased about it. Plus, there are a few states where it is illegal.