pro-AP study-- one of the saddest things I've read in a while...

papeete

https://www.ahaparenting.com/parenting-tools/attachment-parenting/secure-attachment

kcisthebombdotcom

Eh, I don't know about this. I'd say my kids are securely attached but don't protest when I have to leave. We have our goodbye ritual and they do fine with it. They get excited to see me when I return but really have no problem with transitioning away from me. I never considered it a negative thing.

belladonna11307

The thing that no study can take into account is personality, which I guess gets you back to the nature vs. nurture debate.  But it is an interesting observation.

ncbelle

I'd want more detail - are they talking about any separation?  Because there's a big difference in leaving a kid in a loving, familiar environment - say their daycare - vs. in a totally strange and new place.  With the former, I think many securely attached kids wouldn't protest being separated because it's still an attached environment.  

And definitely personality plays a big role - Callum and Eleanor already have very different personalities as far as being in new places despite having been raised the same way ;-) 

kcisthebombdotcom

To add onto that since I reread the article, the 12 month window is an interesting age. My oldest was in the worst of his separation anxiety while my youngest didn't hit that until about 15 months. Both were raised the same way and both seemed securely attached, so I think that my oldest would have had a tougher time with a brief separation than my youngest who would probably be content in playing with a toy. I'm having a hard time taking this seriously.

kacelle

This is an old study.  We learned about it in my child development classes.  I'm not really sure this is "pro-AP" in that it supports attachment parenting; it just shows that attachment is important.  I'll admit to not following many of the signature AP practices, but at 15 months DD is very securely attached.

It's sad that children who are abused and neglected are often detached (and commonly experience a fourth type of attachment not listed in the article--disorganized) from parents, but why is this article "one of the saddest things [you've] read in a while"?

tokenhoser

I wouldn't even call that a study - it's a brief article summarizing a study and twisting it to fit her platform. "Secure attachment" isn't something AP parents have a monopoly on.

mfeo24

The problem with internet articles is that they never include sources, references, or more info, even passing off research as their own.

Her article is referencing a study published 1990, often cited as being the origins of AP. I don't know if it ever made it to peer-reviewed. It was summarized in a very long, but interesting, article in the Atlantic.

https://www.psychology.sunysb.edu/attachment/online/karen.pdf

cecilyandgautam

Yes, I remember reading this study in my psych course and I think Dr. Laura is making a rather misleading comparison of a baby's secure attachment to what is now being promoted as "attachment parenting." As far as I'm aware, causality has not been confirmed here, it's just assumed in some circles that if you follow an attached parenting style that your kid is more likely to have a secure attachment to you, but in the realm of psychology, secure attachment is just discussed as a child's confidence that you'll return when you leave; that you'll meet their needs as they arise. I believe, and have observed, that that confidence can be instilled through different parenting approaches and AP doesn't guarantee the outcome for you. I'm sure we've all seen the occasional post of a hardcore AP-parent who's child freaks out every time they go answer the door; that child is not securely attached but does that has anything to do with co-sleeping, baby wearing, or quickly comforting every whimper? Probably not. AP-parents can have insecurely attached children and CIO/independence-"teaching" parents can have securely attached children. There's a big different between neglect and parenting style. Neglect almost guarantees an insecure attachment; but we can't say with confidence that one parenting style guarantees a secure attachment over another. 

Note that this study is taking place during the height of separation anxiety and some babies are naturally more anxious than others. You'd probably find very different results looking at 6 months or age 3 & beyond. 

papeete

Perhaps I don't have a good understanding of attachment parenting-- I thought it just meant that you focus on having a good relationship with your child before, say, emphasizing success in school or other skills, etc.  I thought it was sad to see that the babies who didn't feel that loved/couldn't depend on their caregivers turned out to be quite insecure in life.  I feel like I know a lot of people who didn't have a good love foundation from their families (myself included) and really had to create that for ourselves.  Because I wasn't raised the way I want to raise my baby, I'm trying to learn how to do a better job.

From the little I read on that aha site, it sounds like attachment parenting is also a very wide term that we can interpret in our own way-- so it makes sense that some of you say people may not execute that well (or at least not in the way you'd do things).  Parenting is so personal; it's very much an outward expression of our values and beliefs, so it's hard to say one way is better than another (and what works for one kid may not work for another).  So, long story short, I am very new to this "progressive" kind of parenting (loving, supportive, high expectations) and really hope I can be the kind of mom I wish I had.

I may not have gotten the terms correctly (AP vs other methods), but I think we're all hoping to create children who feel loved and secure.  Sorry if I used the names incorrectly! 

JoannaJes

The author is confusing the theory of attachment in the field of psychology, and that of attachment parenting. The work of Margaret Ainsworth and the "Strange Situation" really have little to do with AP. If you want more information on the subject, I suggest reading the book "Becoming Attached" by Robert Karen.