Ready to give up on STTN and just accept it.

beachgirl24

DS had been STTN beautifully up until about 6 months when he started teething pretty badly, then all hell broke loose and it's been up and down ever since.  He has a few different scenarios and behavior when he wakes up, and over time we've gotten a bit of a grasp on how to handle it:

 1) He traditionally wakes anywhere from 1-3x per night (usually around anywhere from 11pm to 2am), crying, wailing and rubbing his eyes, which typically tells us that he's hungry.  Our pedi said not to feed him, of course,  because he is old enough to be able to STTN provided that he is getting enough during the day.  She said it was okay to give him water if we could not calm him down first, so that's what we've been doing and it does seem to work.  We give him 3-5 oz of water and he settles down and goes back to sleep until his usual waking time of 5:30/6:00 a.m. which is when I nurse him and we give him a bottle.

 2) Other times when he wakes, is crying and standing up in the crib and he's NOT rubbing his eyes we've learned that he may just be having a bit of separation anxiety or perhaps was awakened by gas or stuffy nose (very common for him with the teething too) and can't get back to sleep.  Those times, he will often respond when we rub his back or hug him (in the crib, we don't pick him up unless we're going to give him the water) and he'll eventually calm down.  This can sometimes take 15-20 minutes or longer and as I'm sure many of you know, it's exhausting and frustrating.

He is getting what he needs during the day--3 meals plus a snack and anywhere from 20-30 oz of formula and BM, but I'm wondering if maybe we need to try to add a snack in there somewhere?  or perhaps try something different to get him to STTN? 

I'm not really interested in CIO because he tends to go "from zero to sixty" very quickly and has recently started choking and gagging if he cries and gets upset too much or too long (I did this when I was a child and know from experience that it is involuntary and not fun to go through) so I dont want to put him through that.

Should we just accept the fact that babies can continue to have night time wakings until age 2 or whenever it is and that my reality is that I will never have a steady row of nights with uninterrupted sleep again?  Ugh!   Looking for your thoughts & experiences!  Thanks!

candylies

what time does he go down for the night?

We are having sleeping troubles as well but I am starting to realize there is a magic time that if I put him down at the right time he doesn't wake at all, if it's just past that time then he's up several times a night and sometimes up for the morning like at 5am.  Still trying to figure out the perfect time but seems if I put him down right around 7pm then he's a perfect sleeping angel till 6am, anytime later and it's just craziness all night and up super early.

PrimRoseMama

I would experiment with a snack later after dinner. Maybe a "dessert" type snack like Greek Yogurt? Its high protein so it might help him make it over the hump with night time waking for food.

Do you run the humidifier for a stuffy nose? Use a white noise machine? How is the temperature in his room?

DD has never had trouble sleeping. Lately getting her to go to bed at all is an issue. She is a night owl. So I will easily have her until 10pm. Once we get her to sleep she conks out and that's it save for a couple of nights with teething. We started a bedtime at 6pm, but she kept refusing to sleep and want to play/fuss/cry until she throws up in the crib. So we just go with the flow. Our "magic" time is around 9:15pm usually.

We still use a CD on loop of ocean noises (more to drown out house noise when we clean up at night) and the temperature in her room is around 70 degrees. We use a humidifier on nights she seems to be sniffing and snuffing with stuffy nose.

Good luck.

 

katie4253

Look at my ticker.  He still doesn't SSTN.  At 9 months we were getting up 3-4 times a night.  I have pretty much just accepted it. 

mpstochlinski8

My LOs are almsot 10mths and have only STTN once...once!! haha It was such a great night and hasn't happend since They are usually up 1-4x a night Im so tired all the time Im just waiting for the night when it happens and keeps happening but I feel like its just not gonna happen any time soon for me. good luck, you arent alone

dragon_chica

Your pedi's full of crap.  Not all babies are expected to STTN by this age.  I know more babies that DON'T than DO.  DD didn't STTN until after 12 months.  DS finally started STTN at around 9 months but that's not always a guarantee.  For all I know he could go back to being a crap sleeper in another month.  Every child will STTN when they're ready.  You can do everything possible, use every single strategy, try every single sleep method and your LO won't sleep until he's darn ready to.  When he wakes up you can either choose to feed him, soothe him, or let him self-soothe.  Whatever you feel comfortable with.  Sure, babies don't always need to eat at night by this age but unless he's having weight issues I don't see what the big deal is to give him a little milk at night if that will relax him and help him go back to sleep.

law&order

katie4253:

Look at my ticker.  He still doesn't SSTN.  At 9 months we were getting up 3-4 times a night.  I have pretty much just accepted it. 

 

Us too.  Although at 9 months he was up once per night.  Now at 13 months he's up 2 or 3 times a night.  He eats at the two wake ups and goes back to sleep right away.   

CurbsideProphet

If you think he is hungry I would feed him. Just because in theory he can sleep though the night without food does not mean he is not hungry.

If DD wakes up in the middle of the night typically the first thing I do is nurse her. This typically puts her back to sleep. She eats for long enough almost every time that I think she really is hungry and not just wanting comfort. I have always heard if they nurse for less than 3 minutes then they were not really hungry, just wanted to comfort nurse. There are nights when she will sleep for 10-11 hours without fussing, so I know she can sleep for long periods. So if she does wake up and cry, at this point I figure maybe she is actually hungry and wants some food. Feeding her is also typically the easiest way to get her back to sleep, so I end up getting more sleep by just feeding her.

 

mben1119

dragon_chica:

Your pedi's full of crap.  Not all babies are expected to STTN by this age.  I know more babies that DON'T than DO.  DD didn't STTN until after 12 months.  DS finally started STTN at around 9 months but that's not always a guarantee.  For all I know he could go back to being a crap sleeper in another month.  Every child will STTN when they're ready.  You can do everything possible, use every single strategy, try every single sleep method and your LO won't sleep until he's darn ready to.  When he wakes up you can either choose to feed him, soothe him, or let him self-soothe.  Whatever you feel comfortable with.  Sure, babies don't always need to eat at night by this age but unless he's having weight issues I don't see what the big deal is to give him a little milk at night if that will relax him and help him go back to sleep.

This!!  Some babies get hungry in the middle of the night and want to eat. DS STTN most nights, but when he does wake up at 3 am as he likes to do, I feed him. I'm not going to starve my son because a pediatrician deems he's too old for it. That's crazy.

EveryNameIWantIsTaken

I wish I had advice for you, but we're a big mess of sleeping disasters in our house.  DS didn't sttn until after he turned 3, dd is still up 2+ times a night at almost 9mo.  You're not alone, and if you figure it out, let me know!

beachgirl24

candylies:

what time does he go down for the night?

We are having sleeping troubles as well but I am starting to realize there is a magic time that if I put him down at the right time he doesn't wake at all, if it's just past that time then he's up several times a night and sometimes up for the morning like at 5am.  Still trying to figure out the perfect time but seems if I put him down right around 7pm then he's a perfect sleeping angel till 6am, anytime later and it's just craziness all night and up super early.

 

We get home around 615, play a little, then nursing & a bottle at 6:30, then dinner around 6:50/7:00, then bathtime if needed, then story time, singing and rocking and another bottle from about 730-800 and if it's a good night, he's asleep by 8:00-8:15 pm.

 He rarely gets to sleep any earlier than 8pm, that's just kind of become the magic time.  But sometimes he is very hyper and wants to play and cries when we leave the room, and on those nights he won't get to sleep till 8:30-845. I haven't noticed a pattern with him STTN or not STTN depending on what time he does get into bed but I will pay attention to that. 

beachgirl24

PrimRoseMama:

I would experiment with a snack later after dinner. Maybe a "dessert" type snack like Greek Yogurt? Its high protein so it might help him make it over the hump with night time waking for food. 

This is a good idea, I may try that if we have time between dinner and bedtime.  We do always feed him a protein with veggies, but he's still on 2nd stage foods so maybe part of the problem is there's not enough protein in there?

Do you run the humidifier for a stuffy nose? Use a white noise machine? How is the temperature in his room?  Yes, if his congestion is really bad we use the humidifier.  White noise machine when he was a newborn, and recently I tried to implement it again but he slept terribly that night and I dont know if it was a coincidence or not but I haven't tried again.  Temp. is kind of up and down--we have the thermostat set to 77 (we live in FL) but I swear it feels more like 73-74 in his room.  He does tend to "run hot" (sweaty little guy during the day when he gets worked up) so maybe we could keep it colder at night...

 Thank you! 

beachgirl24

mabenner1:

dragon_chica:

Your pedi's full of crap.  Not all babies are expected to STTN by this age.  I know more babies that DON'T than DO.  DD didn't STTN until after 12 months.  DS finally started STTN at around 9 months but that's not always a guarantee.  For all I know he could go back to being a crap sleeper in another month.  Every child will STTN when they're ready.  You can do everything possible, use every single strategy, try every single sleep method and your LO won't sleep until he's darn ready to.  When he wakes up you can either choose to feed him, soothe him, or let him self-soothe.  Whatever you feel comfortable with.  Sure, babies don't always need to eat at night by this age but unless he's having weight issues I don't see what the big deal is to give him a little milk at night if that will relax him and help him go back to sleep.

This!!  Some babies get hungry in the middle of the night and want to eat. DS STTN most nights, but when he does wake up at 3 am as he likes to do, I feed him. I'm not going to starve my son because a pediatrician deems he's too old for it. That's crazy.

This is exactly how I felt all throughout DS's various stages, I was fully prepared to get up (and did) whenever he called, if he was hungry and needed to nurse, 24-7.  (I also didn't buy the B.S. that the lactation consultants told me that he should only need a certain amount of ounces each feeding.  Babies have swinging appetites, just like we do! )   I was content to get up with him whenever he needed me but I guess after his 7 month appointment when we voiced our concerns about STTN to the doctor and she recommended the water trick, I was kind of programmed to think "he shouldn't be hungry [at 1am, 2am etc.]!"  So when he kept waking up, despite our efforts to get him to eat during the day instead of the night, I just got so frustrated and tired.  I was confused by what the doctor says "should" happen vs. what is happening, every night. 

 Now the other issue is that there are a few other things that could be waking him--teeth pain, gas, separation anxiety, etc.  and the trick is knowing WHAT has awakened him and reading his signs (rubbing his eyes= hungry vs.  just reaching out for us when we come in probably = separation anxiety  vs. refusing the bottle and writhing/arching his back = gas pain/tummy troubles).  And no one can help us with that, because our LO is unique, just like everyone else's LO.  I guess we'll just have to keep hanging in there and hope for the best!!! 

Also, 2 other things---I should note that he does STTN occasionally, maybe about once a week here and there, but it is in no way consistent and whenever a new teething spell comes to town it's all out of whack again and he's up numerous times.  In the end at least it does help to know that I am not the only one going through it and I know it's not uncommon. 

Secondly, he is not on "table foods" yet and still on Stage 2 foods so I'm wondering if maybe he's just not getting enough protein or other things that he needs to sustain him through the night?  We are working on introducing more foods and hopefully bigger portions, but part of our enemy is his new found hate for the highchair!  ....But that's another topic  ; )