Super selfish confession

Randa&Jerm

Feel free to flame, I know its worthy...

BUT, I secretly wish that I could have another baby shower.  YES I know this is #3 for me, YES I know that taking care of my baby is DH & I's responsibility, and YES I know that I have actually kept most everything from both of my DDs. 

But I still have a lot that I would like to get slightly newer (not much) but we have some added expenses coming up not including the baby related stuff, that it would just be very helpful to have somethings purchased for us. 

We need to figure out what we are going to do with our 2 girls bedrooms and beds.  They currently share a very small room and both are using their convertable cribs that are now toddler beds.  Not wanting to buy another crib we have to figure out what to do with our limited space and DD1 growing out of her toddler bed soon.

Not to mention, I love baby showers! They are always fun for me whether they are for me or I am a guest.

So flame me or whine with me, I don't care. I just wanted to confess that I wish someone would secretly plan a baby shower for me so if they ask if I want or need one, I don't have to feel obligated to say no.

Reptar13

What a selfish brat. Ugh.

Alyssa102

My sister asked me when I wanted to do the Baby Shower and I responded isn't that tacky (from alll I have read on TB) and she said she has been to sooooo many of them.  My SIL also had a 2nd baby shower, it was more of a "let's get together at a restaurant for breakfast" type thing, but I still got her a small gift.

I know what you mean of things being out of date and wanting newer stuff.  My sister's, SIL gave her everything, which she gave me for DD, which I gave back for her second, so the bouncer, swing, jumperoo, exersaucer, ect...is 7 years old and not in great shape, so I told my sister not to give them back to me lol.  So I need things like that.  Hoping my SIL's will offer to let me borrow their's, if not, I'll be asking for BRU gift cards for Christmas.

cbrotz2010

Maybe I have a different mentality, but I don't think it's selfish to want one. We all want/need a little help sometimes. I can't say I wouldn't side-eye you if you decided to host one for yourself, but having the desire to want one is not selfish in my eyes

ashcody2

I'm hoping my mom or my sister throw me a shower we had one for my sister's first child, but I would never ask them to throw me one either. We shall see I suppose.

LittleLocks

cbrotz2010:

Maybe I have a different mentality, but I don't think it's selfish to want one. We all want/need a little help sometimes. I can't say I wouldn't side-eye you if you decided to host one for yourself, but having the desire to want one is not selfish in my eyes

Agreed. Sure, it's selfish to EXPECT anything from anyone, especially gifts! But there's nothing wrong with thinking about it or wishing. Besides, don't we all want our babies to have the best of the best? We'd be bad parents if we didn't want them to have everything in this world (not to the point of being spoiled brats, of course but you know what I mean!) Is it going to happen, probably not! If it does consider yourself lucky to have such great people around you. And it IS a great time, gifts or not!! You get to spend it with close friends and family. Some of which you rarely get to see unless there is an occasion.. so why not? (but I strongly suggest you never mention it to anyone else on this board.. lol you know why! haha

contreras04

With our family its totally different! We still throw baby showers for the third baby, or fourth... or fifth! lol point is we always throw our family members baby showers we don't really care which # baby it is.

Kie310

I think it would be selfish if you were throwing yourself a shower... wishing for one is totally okay

Jo2013

Here in CO we do showers for every baby. I never thought second about it until joining the bump and reading all the negative comments about it!

areadinger

What I would suggest is a few weeks before the baby is due, have a party of picnic and invite all your family and friends. Just tell everyone that you're having the party simply to see everyone before baby arrives. People will bring gifts... promise!

Randa&Jerm

areadinger:

What I would suggest is a few weeks before the baby is due, have a party of picnic and invite all your family and friends. Just tell everyone that you're having the party simply to see everyone before baby arrives. People will bring gifts... promise!

HA!  good idea! lol Its not like I am throwing a shower myself!

zonagirlie

I don't think there is anything wrong with you getting together with your family and celebrating your newest family member. Every baby is special. You don't have to go BSC with registering and invitations and all that crap. I'm a FTM and I don't want it! But you should absolutely be able to celebrate your baby, just don't expect presents.

newtonk

Maybe it's just me, but I see a baby shower not only as a great way to help out mom and dad, but as a celebration of a new little life. I think a 3rd shower or "sprinkle" is perfectly acceptable. I'm having 2 showers, and this is my 2nd DD. One from family/friends and one from the girls at my office. In each case someone offered to throw one. I don't feel "gift grabby" or embarrassed in the least. Who doesn't want to celebrate the arrival of their new LO with people that you care about and who care about you.   

 

Clementine4

In my family/family friends circle, we love to have baby showers. 1st, 3rd, or 8th--never mattered. We just enjoyed getting all the ladies together and celebrating a new life. Didn't have to be a full blown shower with all the fanfare, most times it was just an hor d'heurves and cake "welcome, baby" sort of occasion with a few small gifts. I love it.
Like PPs have said, I honestly never knew how strongly people felt about additional showers until I joined the bump!
I tend to think the same way my mom does--"Every baby deserves to be celebrated. Every baby deserves a little something new."

beckajw

If I knew you, I would plan one for you.  I think every baby deserves a shower.

Randa&Jerm

beckajw:

If I knew you, I would plan one for you.  I think every baby deserves a shower.

Aw that's sweet, thank you.

mistresscox

You're not alone!  I would love another one too! Mine with DD was nice and the host was really sweet about everything, but it turned out to be only DH's co-workers.  I only had like 3 people show up for "me".  Plus all we got was clothing and 1 pack of diapers.....I remember crying afterward (I know, really dumb-I blame the hormones!) because I hadn't been buying or looking for ANY "large" items because I keep seeing online and hearing in person that I would get all that stuff at the shower, and then all of a sudden I was thinking about all the things I had to buy in not many months and it was all very overwhelming.  I would just like an excuse to celebrate this baby though, but since we just moved I bet no one would show up again.  

jvdavisbaby

I don't see any problem with having another shower Even after joining TB and seeing the "etiquette" (please excuse the spelling if its wrong) rules about second showers and such, i don't see anything wrong with second or more showers Whatever is the norm in your group! I think its normal to wish for a shower or shower type thing, I would honestly be pretty sad if I didnt get one because a) this is my first LO and b) I would feel like no one wanted to celebrate with me. I don't think you should host your own but I agree with previous posters about having a picnic or lunch type thing to celebrate baby I think people bringing gifts is really inevitable but you don't need to request them.

 

dande2129

beckajw:

If I knew you, I would plan one for you.  I think every baby deserves a shower.

I just like shower planning in general.

I don't think it's selfish to wish for a shower. Who doesn't want gifts for their babe, and save money along the way? Unfortunately, I'm in the camp of having a little get together, "baby celebration party" thing either before or after the baby, without gifts. If someone wants to bring a gift, then be appreciative, but no one should feel that they have to.

akating

My best friend asked me when I was having my shower and I told her that i didn't think I would get one since this is my second. She replied "Don't be silly! I am throwing you a shower!" If I were having another boy I would have turned it down but since I am having a girl and only have big ticket items I think it would be fun to have another. I would have felt bad if people bought us stuff for a boy when we didn't need it. Like they would be wasting their money. 

If anyone asks about a shower for you then just say "well, no one has offered to throw me one so I don't think I am having one". That way they aren't pressured into doing it but they know that they need to offer for one to happen. Plus they can always throw a sprinkle.  

GigiFairy

Don't feel bad. I'm having one; my friends and family had never heard of the whole 1 babyshower per mom ever rule and since they insisted.. I'm getting one and I even registered, I rather have people get me some neccessary items than just make them guess..

People can side-eye all they want.