Should I have said something?

sucrets4

My friend had her DD 6 days ago around 36w due to IUGR. She was 4lbs 8oz. My friend messaged me the night before she had her to ask about how early DD was and some other stuff. I made sure to tell her to check her car seat, since some only have a 5lb minimum. She then told me that her hospital won't release her until she's 5lbs, which I thought was weird, but whatever.

Well, she's going home today. YAY! She posted a pic and I was a buzzkill and asked if she was 5lbs already BECAUSE I looked up her car seat and the minimum is 5lbs. There's no way her DD meets that. She then said that her hospital got rid of that requirement and that she's almost 5lbs, so I wrote: "Oh awesome!! I don't think my hospital had it, either. Her seat goes down to 4lbs though, right?" 

I hate to be an tushiehole on such a joyous day, but this really concerns me if her NICU didn't check that.

I think her DD is close to 5lbs now, which kind of surprises me.  DD was still 3oz under her birth weight when she was d/c at 9 days old, so does it make sense that she has already surpassed her birth weight at 6 days?

I don't know, I felt like I had to say something since I can't believe they let her go in that car seat.  Am I being ridiculously picky? 

urbanflowerpot

No, it's surprising, but it happens. There is a Bumpie who just had a micro fly through NICU and come home in a carseat at something like 3 lbs?? I thought carbed for sure, but their NICU OK'ed it. Maybe she'll see this and say something about what rules they had. It's probably more like the preemie-stabs that most of us get when something goes super lucky for another preemie situation that we shouldn't feel like that over, but do if we're deeply, darkly honest. It took DS two full weeks to get back up to BW. But I think they lose less/gain faster at later term? Maybe? I don't even know.

I'm totally going to get hated on for this. Oh well, we all have our bitter sides. 

lawilbur

urbanflowerpot:

No, it's surprising, but it happens. There is a Bumpie who just had a micro fly through NICU and come home in a carseat at something like 3 lbs?? I thought carbed for sure, but their NICU OK'ed it. Maybe she'll see this and say something about what rules they had. It's probably more like the preemie-stabs that most of us get when something goes super lucky for another preemie situation that we shouldn't feel like that over, but do if we're deeply, darkly honest. It took DS two full weeks to get back up to BW. But I think they lose less/gain faster at later term? Maybe? I don't even know.

I'm totally going to get hated on for this. Oh well, we all have our bitter sides. 

That was me and my DD. She came home at 2lb 14oz. I asked the nurses, NPs, and neos multiple times about the weight limit on the carseat but they all kept saying as long as she passed the carseat test then she could go home in it. Now, looking back, I feel kind of stupid for not questioning them further about the actual safety aspect of sending home a baby significantly under the minimum weight for their carseat (ours is 4lbs). I think I was just so overwhelmed at the time that I just went with it and did what they were telling me was ok, even if now it seems like it shouldn't have happened that way. I agree with EAMartin, I was definitely an ignorant FTM at the time..still am sometimes  

As far as the weight gain, I have no advice. We struggled a lot with her weight, and still do. It took over 2 weeks for DD to get back to her birth weight (and she only lost 2oz) and a good 2-3 weeks after that for her to consistently gain every day. As of today she is only 4lb 7oz.

But I don't think your comment to her was bad or you being picky. You are just showing concern for your friend's baby and you are going off of your own experience in the NICU, while is natural. Sometimes it is hard to accept that every NICU experience is different. I know mine turned out being completely different than any other I have heard, and it took a lot of adjusting for us to go with the flow of things. 

 

*edited to fix a word 

urbanflowerpot

lawilbur:

urbanflowerpot:

No, it's surprising, but it happens. There is a Bumpie who just had a micro fly through NICU and come home in a carseat at something like 3 lbs?? I thought carbed for sure, but their NICU OK'ed it. Maybe she'll see this and say something about what rules they had. It's probably more like the preemie-stabs that most of us get when something goes super lucky for another preemie situation that we shouldn't feel like that over, but do if we're deeply, darkly honest. It took DS two full weeks to get back up to BW. But I think they lose less/gain faster at later term? Maybe? I don't even know.

I'm totally going to get hated on for this. Oh well, we all have our bitter sides. 

That was me and my DD. She came home at 2lb 14oz. I asked the nurses, NPs, and neos multiple times about the weight limit on the carseat but they all kept saying as long as she passed the carseat test then she could go home in it. Now, looking back, I feel kind of stupid for not questioning them further about the actual safety aspect of sending home a baby significantly under the minimum weight for their carseat (ours is 4lbs). I think I was just so overwhelmed at the time that I just went with it and did what they were telling me was ok, even if now it seems like it shouldn't have happened that way. I agree with EAMartin, I was definitely an ignorant FTM at the time..still am sometimes  

As far as the weight gain, I have no advice. We struggled a lot with her weight, and still do. It took over 2 weeks for DD to get back to her birth weight (and she only lost 2oz) and a good 2-3 weeks after that for her to consistently gain every day. As of today she is only 4lb 7oz.

But I don't think your comment to her was bad or you being picky. You are just showing concern for your friend's baby and you are going off of your own experience in the NICU, while is natural. Sometimes it is hard to accept that every NICU experience is different. I know mine turned out being completely different than any other I have heard, and it took a lot of adjusting for us to go with the flow of things. 

Nope! That would make more than one of you with super teenies coming home. I had no idea until recently that it was possible - our NICU had a weight limit. Now I'm curious and don't want to post-jack so perhaps I'll start another thread. 

ashk7

I don't think you were being a buzz kill just making sure the baby was safe. DD gained the weight she lost with a few days so It can happen, she was over her bw with in the first week. But every baby and situation is different.

sucrets4

EAMartin1004:

I don't think you are being picky.  You are just looking out for her DD's safety.  I will say that it is possible for a baby to surpass their birth weight within 6 days.  My friend had her son 4 weeks early.  He was a big boy so weight was never and issue, but he never lost weight after birth like many babies do.  Maybe that is the case with your friend.  You could call her to explain your concern rather than have her get upset with you over a text message.  I think it's easy to mis-interpret what's being said through messaging since you can't hear tone of voice.

She's a friend from college, so we're not really close.  I don't even have her phone number.  I know that it would be better to chat, but FB is all I have right now.

You're right that I'm projecting my weight issues on her and that her DD is most likely doing just fine.  I don't honestly think that they would lie about her weight or anything. so I shouldn't have brought it up. 

sucrets4

And thanks, guys!  I'm glad I didn't sound too bad.  I just checked and she didn't write back to my question about it going down to 4lbs, but I'm sure she's busy.  I truly just care for her DD's safety and hope they stay in for a few days while she bulks up, lol.

Thanks for your comments!