What am I doing wrong here? Advice needed

mamatotwins0812

I will preface my question by saying that I do know that some nights are just going to, well suck, but since I have had more than one of them I need some insight on what I might be doing wrong or can be doing better. My boys (6 weeks old) eat every 3 hours during the day and after their last night feed I let them sleep until they wake up, which is typically about 4-5 hours later. Here was my night last night: at 7 pm, I change, pj's, swaddle and feed as always. I put them to "bed" for the night before the final feeding at 10 pm.  My little guy N laid awake from about 7:30 until 9:15 when he really started to stir and want to be picked up. Otherwise I just watched him lay awake looking around very relaxed until then. At exactly 10, C wakes up and is hungry. I feed both (I will add that I am exclusively pumping right now) and attempt to put them down. C stirred for about an hour playing the paci game. He'd drop it out and cry and I'd put it back in. Now normally he sleeps right after he eats, last night i did everything the same and he was wide awake. finally at about 11:30 he went down. At about 2:30 they both started to wake for a feeding. I changed, fed and burped both. This is when the fun began. C played the paci game again while N decided he wanted nothing to do with sleeping unless I was holding him. From 2:30 to 4 he cried unless he was in my arms laying in my bed while holding his paci for him (I know the in bed thing is frowned upon but it was the only thing that worked). I finally put him down at 4 and he slept until 5 when they both woke up crying again. Normally they sleep until 6:30/7 for their morning feeding. All night both were swaddled, clean diapers and I gave gas drops just in case (I had that issue the other night). Right now they are sleeping in my room in the Rnp, but when nothing was working I tried the pnp again and that worked for N, but I had to put C on his belly in order to get him to sleep (another frowned upon I know but I was desperate and he was happy). Long story short I got about 3 hours of sleep and know this can't be normal. It seems like they aren't happy anymore unless I'm holding them or rocking them to sleep, which I would LOVE to do, but with 2, it's next to impossible. I hope I painted a clear picture and sorry for the length. Any advice would be much appreciated. 

Jen0204

If it's only been happening for a couple of days it could be a growth spurt.  I don't have much advice, but mine have been getting up 3-4 times a night for the last 2 weeks and I'm attributing it to teething since they have only been getting up once a night to eat since about 3 months.  There have been quite a few nights lately with only 3-4 hours of sleep, it sucks.

If it happens for a longer amount of time, maybe try breaking the swaddle?  Maybe they want freedom to move around.  Try increasing their bottles?  Have you sent your H in instead of you?  They could be smelling your milk and that could be waking them up more.  6 weeks is way too young to even consider sleep training so you kind of just have to play with their sleeping set up or eating schedule to see if anything helps.

Good luck!

Missa_g

I can't see tickers or siggies with the mobile format so sorry if it's there, but what gestation were they born at? 6w old is still very young, their sleep sounds normal to me. It could be a growth spurt though.

mrsemily08

they sound quite normal to me!

mamatotwins0812

They were born at 33 weeks and the only reason I'm finding it odd is because it's out of the ordinary for them. They've been on a great schedule since they came home and none of this seems to be like them. As we speak I have one in my arms who hasn't slept since last feeding (he is fighting it and every time the paci falls, he wakes), while the other is starting to whine in his crib. This is only after about a 45 minute nap which is usually 2.5 hours. 

 The past few days they have also been breaking free from the swaddle and I just let them now and they do seem to like their arms free.  

ninjabridemom

Babies change things all the time.  I wouldn't stress unless it's something that keeps happening.  It's probably a growth spurt.

Jen0204

mamatotwins0812:

They were born at 33 weeks and the only reason I'm finding it odd is because it's out of the ordinary for them. They've been on a great schedule since they came home and none of this seems to be like them. As we speak I have one in my arms who hasn't slept since last feeding (he is fighting it and every time the paci falls, he wakes), while the other is starting to whine in his crib. This is only after about a 45 minute nap which is usually 2.5 hours. 

 The past few days they have also been breaking free from the swaddle and I just let them now and they do seem to like their arms free.  

One thing that I quickly learned is that just when you think they have a schedule set or that you have anything else figured out, they immediately change just to screw with you

For example, mine are always up between 6-6:15 each morning.  Never ever sleep any later.  Today I must have turned my alarm off and wake myself up at 6:45 (the time we're supposed to be out the door) and the two little buggers are asleep in their cribs.  The one morning it would have been nice for them to wake me up!

Missa_g

mamatotwins0812:

They were born at 33 weeks and the only reason I'm finding it odd is because it's out of the ordinary for them. They've been on a great schedule since they came home and none of this seems to be like them. As we speak I have one in my arms who hasn't slept since last feeding he is fighting it and every time the paci falls, he wakes, while the other is starting to whine in his crib. This is only after about a 45 minute nap which is usually 2.5 hours.nbsp;nbsp;The past few days they have also been breaking free from the swaddle and I just let them now and they do seem to like their arms free.nbsp;nbsp;

They're not even supposed to be born yet, technically. One thing I've had to realize is that with newborns, especially preemies, there is NO normal. They might act one way for weeks and then totally change. They're in charge, not us. Your babies sound completely normal and you're not doing anything wrong.

lmydogally

About that age one of my girls had a really hard time sleeping in her crib after 2 am.  Could not go back to sleep.  This is where I was so happy for the snuggle bunny swing.  When things got rough, I could put them in the swings and we all got sleep.  Soon they needed the swings less and less.

tarajayne

We went through some rough times around that age too.  My only advice is try a swing.  We have a little one that is easy to move upstairs or down so I put it right in their room.  When I was having the paci game issue I ended up just sleeping on their floor so I could put it back in easy when he woke up.  Another word of advice, anytime you ever have the possibility of having any help, take it... and take a nap.  It does get better, hang in there.

regenab

Big Hugs!!! Looks like they are just about at their due date since they were born early. When my girls got to their actual due date, which made them about 3 1/2 weeks only they went through a rough patch like this. Gas was a big part of it and also because they were no longer sleeping all the time like they did the first couple of weeks. My first question is how is their daytime sleep? Are you getting them down for naps every 90 min.-2 hours, if not that should be your first priority. No one told me this as a FTM and I didn't know I should be making sure they are always getting down for a nap before the 2 hour mark was up. Also what helped for me was the book Happiest Baby on the Block (there is also a DVD you can rent). The techniques for getting them sleep were amazing and worked so well for the girls. Keep swaddling them. They may act like they want to be free/breaking free. But really they are reacting to not be tightly swaddled. Babies at this stage are still trying to adjust to being in the outside world and they were tightly snuggled (swaddled) in your womb for some many months, swaddling is comforting to them. That is why women have being doing it since the beggining of time because it works.

If you are using gas drops, give them before you feed not after. I found if I waited until the gas was already bothering my girls it didn't help at all (the horse is already out of the barn so to speak). If I gave it to them right before their feeding they had a lot less gas after the feeding.

I remember that being a really rough time (4 weeks - 12 weeks) and we have all been there. You will need to rest when you can, have someone help you during the day if possible if you can get a break to sleep. And have your DH help in the evenings so you can take a nap. Let the laundry go, let the cleaning go. Do what you have to do right now to survive. And as others have said, it really does get better. Turning 4 months old was amazing for my girls and things got a lot easier. I know that doesn't help much now, but you can do it. Just keep going.

trish3905

Previous PPs have great suggestions - I don't think we would have survived without our swing.  It's still super early - you won't feel like you get any sleep until one or both start skipping a nighttime feeding.  Until then, you will feel like you're in survival mode.

Just wanted to add in that my kids did not get the whole "drowsy but awake" method of going to sleep for a long time.  I'm not sure that's what you're trying to do - but your comment that one of them laid awake for a long time made me think so?  Anyway, I rocked my girls to sleep one at a time for probably the first 6 months.  I would put the more awake baby in the bouncy seat and bounce that baby while I rocked the sleepier baby to sleep in my arms.  Once I had one asleep and transferred to her crib, I would then rock the other baby until she was asleep.  Once they were a bit older, I could lay one down in the crib awake to watch her crib soother while I rocked the other baby to sleep.  Then, I would rock the second baby to sleep.

Hang in there! 

 

Missa_g

One other thing I didn't catch in the beginning...you didn't put him on his belly to sleep WHILE swaddled, did you? Belly sleeping is a no no but if it's in a safe, watched environment I'm not too concerned. But doing it while swaddled is definitely bad.

MuseumMaven

You aren't doing anything wrong.  Some people luck out and get babies that just sleep easily, and others have babies that are difficult sleepers.  Mine fell into the latter category.  It all sounds pretty normal for 6 weeks, especially since they were early.  Hang in there is the best advice I can give!

E&RMommy

They were 33 weekers.....it's likely normal.  There is zero normal or routine at that age.

You should really really not allow your baby to stomach sleep unless you are sitting there watching him breathe.  Babies that little have an opposite reaction to the carbon dioxide they exhale.  It causes them to get drowsier and it reduces their respiratory drive.  Adults have an increase in respiratory drive when they are exposed to carbon dioxide.

Yes it sucks that you aren't getting sleep but getting a six week old preterm infant down to sleep on their stomach is not the solution.  We've all been there with desparate times and desparate measures.  That unfortunately is a very frowned upon action.  It just increases the SIDS risk really dramatically. 

Mine did not sleep well until 9.5 months.  It sucked but we got through it.  Now they are awesome sleepers.

Ours slept swaddled in swings until 6 months.  It was the only way they could sleep. 

I vote on the six week growth spurt.  Mine were a mess.

Hang in there.