let's talk about sex

ellajune2012

Just curious, what with all the focus on ttc and ovulating and timing everything right, how do you keep it fun when the schedule says "do it today!" and life/work/busy schedule/whatever gets in the way or one of you is just not in the mood.

 

danieleandwayne

MH is ALWAYS in the mood. He's never not in the mood. If he were in a coma, he'd be in the mood.

We have had 2 BD marathons where we BD once a day from the day after my last period day to the day after I ovulate. Most of those, we have "quickies" (which MH has nicknamed "Mr. Thrustingtons" for some reason) because on days that I work (12-13 hour shifts), I'm tired and just want to get the deed done and also if I have a good time, then I'm up for HOURS which is no good if I have to get up early for work the next day as well. 

To keep it fun-- we just joke around. MH does things like come up with nicknames for BDing vs sex-for-love/fun/sex purposes, he strikes funny poses and I humour him by laughing so he thinks he's the funniest guy in the world, we mix up the location/positions, etc.

But honestly-- MH is like a 15 year old boy and loves it when I tell him we're going to marathon it. Most of the time, he'll even ask if we need to BD twice. Um, no-- I need to walk the next day, thanks!

My aunt, though, told me she had to make a nice dinner and pour some wine to convince my uncle that it was sex for romance and not just a job... She had some IF issues, so she said sometimes, she had to up the ante by wearing some sexy lingerie...

tampabayRN

This has been the hardest part about this whole process for us.  Unfortunately my husband has a libido of a turtle so trying to get him going to BD on a schedule has been a little rough for both of us emotionally and physically.  I think for most of us in the journey the women are taking more of the responsibility and the man just literally has to perform on command.  So when I see myself charting, taking a billion vitamins, researching, and POAS all the time and he literally just needs to do the one thing and sometimes e can't live up to expectations then it really hurts me.  I wish my husband was a BD'ing machine like danieleandwayne's.

tampabayRN

So I just realized that I didn't even answer the question I just ranted, sorry.  So what I am trying to do to make it more fun and a little less pressure is give MH a heads up the day before so he can't make excuses and then not mention anymore about it.  I try to wear lingerie instead of my normal "clown pants pajamas"  and don't go to bed with my hair wet and pulled back like a girl from a Ronald Palmer video.  I know these sound like small things but I need to do these little things if I want the hubs to want to play along.  Lately he has been more proactive and asking me when it is time BD.

robbensm

Been struggling with this too lately.  I did break out the sexy undies this past time and that seemed to do the trick but don't think that will work for every time. 

Oh an Petra....glad to see I wasn't the only one to get that song stuck in my head after reading the subject line ;-)

Qzees

My DH is younger than me, so that helps.... He is so easy to arouse.  Unfortunately lately he is feeling the pressure of the necessary timing & said to me that he feels like it is becoming a job & he is having a hard time "finishing".  I wrote him a long letter & told him some interesting things & it seemed to have helped.  That night we had some of the best BDg to date.  The next day he started kissing me & it was like it was all "new" again, that we just started dating.  I hope he is up for a good BD tonight, because I finally got my first positive OPK.  I decided to add this to my list & I had an almost positive this morning & then a definate positive at lunchtime...  He thinks he is going to work on his car tonight when he gets home, well I am just going to have to grab him after dinner, before he goes into the garage LOL

ellajune2012

Thanks guys! I wish my husband was like a 15-yearl old! Or like he was in college when we couldn't get enough of it.

I feel your pain tampabayRN, my husband's  got the libido of a turtle too, and then of course the days I'm totally not fertile are the ones where he wants to jump me... not that I mind but it'd be kind of nice if he was a little more horny on the days we've got a chance. Might have to break out the sexy lingerie this week - it's been a while since I've tried that one.

 

BabyVDM

I've been watching Rescue Me on Netflix. 

Never thought of Denis Leary as sexy, but now... dunno know why but it's been helping.  Guess it doesn't hurt that DH has the same height, build and colouring of DLeary.

I need Season 6 and 7 - pronto.

 

 

Julie581

I don't know how to help with this one. I never suggest that we have sex. Even wearing the sexy stuff doesn't help. Whenever I do he tells me that he hates that and it sounds like I'm begging and never get it enough, blah, blah, blah. So I just stopped. The last few cycles of the clomid I would leave my positive ovulation stick on the bathroom counter for him to see. Both times he was like "oh, you're ovulating so we should do it today huh? Ok. it's early we'll do it before the night is over." Then he fell asleep as soon as dinner was over. It's good thing I've given up on having a baby. Now I don't need to worry about ever having sex again.