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Working Moms
tayray1
member
Question from a nanny..
tayray1
member
in Working Moms
*lurker here*
I've worked as a full time nanny for the same family for 4.5 years. I love my job, am paid well, and have great benefits. The kids are 8, 4.5, and 2 years. The family has two fish, two cats and have now informed me that they are getting an 8 wk lab puppy next week. (Insert mouth drop here.) I'm frustrated and hurt that they wouldn't talk to me about this before just assuming I would be willing to take on the full time responsibility of a puppy. Am I overreacting? I've talked to my bosses about it, and they are shocked that I feel this way. They thought I would be excited for them, and would be willing to help them out since I'm their employee and all..I'm def not going to quit, but do I have any other recourse? Thanks for your thoughts!
Patiently waiting for our 1st since 9/2010.
Dealing with MFI, good count, good motility, 3% morph-HSG all clear, all other test results came back normal, IUI is our next step
May 2012- Clomid 50mg + IUI = BFN
June- Cycle Break
July- Forced cycle break due to cysts
August- Femara, Trigger, IUI#2= ?
Dealing with MFI, good count, good motility, 3% morph-HSG all clear, all other test results came back normal, IUI is our next step
May 2012- Clomid 50mg + IUI = BFN
June- Cycle Break
July- Forced cycle break due to cysts
August- Femara, Trigger, IUI#2= ?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Question from a nanny..
My twins are 5! My baby is 3!
DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi
DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame
From a general working stand point (I work in an office environment and I realize this is much different than child care) my employer would not consult the employees and 'ask' us if we are willing to take on new duties. We either take on the new responsibilites or they find someone else who will.
I used to nanny in the Summer and occasionally had to watch/care for pets. I would ask specifically what caring for their puppy would entail and then depending on the work load probably ask for an increase in pay.
I would outline your concerns for them - for instance what if you are caring for the children in another room and the puppy chews up some furniture or a shoe? Will you be held responsible? Are you able to kennel the puppy if you can't watch it directly all the time? Are you responsible for cleaning up messes the puppy makes in the house? Is the puppy going to any formal training or will you be expected to train it? Do you have any experience training a dog and will they give you guidelines on how the dog should be trained? Can the older children be responsible for some of the care of the dog?
Training a dog is a big responsibility and I think a puppy is harder than a baby in a lot of ways. Having both might just be enough to send me over the edge! I think it's important to outline your specific concerns so they don't think you are just balking at more work and you can have something to fall back on if the puppy causes a problem in the future.
To the pper who compared this to an office, I have to disagree. If my boss one day came in and said that I was supposed to preform a task completely unrelated to the one I was hired for, such as train a dog and clean up it's poop, and I had zero experience doing it and was going to be left alone with it all day, you better believe I'd be asking some questions about the hows and whys of it all.
I think your feelings are absolutely justified. While they don't need your permission to get a puppy, they should have discussed it with you.
In all honestly, when our lab puppy was 8 weeks old, she was more work than our baby.
Would a family discuss "arrangements" with a nanny if they were having another baby....YES. Same as getting a puppy.
Discuss with the family what their expectations are for you caring for the puppy. If they expect the puppy to be out of a crate all day and you'll be dealing with potty training, preventing chewing and overall watching the puppy....well, that's like adding another baby to the mix.
I think your feelings are absolutely justified. I hate dogs, so I would not be okay with taking care of one. I would definitely talk to them about their expectations and explain how you are feeling to them.
I don't think they should just expect you to be happy about it. But if they're going to do it no matter what, and you're not up for it, then they need to be willing to find someone else.
Job issues aside, I cannot BELIEVE that someone would get a PUPPY when they have three kids without a reasonable plan to train it and get it acquainted with the household. Perhaps they do and they just didn't tell you details, but it sounds like they don't. I have worked in dog rescues and this is SUCH a sore spot for me - we had pets coming into rescue ALL THE TIME from families who got a puppy without having any idea how much work they would be and without any plan for how to or who would handle that.
Also, a puppy requires a ENORMOUS amount of work, and I'm really shocked that even if they just expect you to ignore it (or let it out a few times to pee or whatever) they don't have any thoughts on how it will impact the care and attention that you give to their kids. GRRR!
I hope it works out. I'd definitely be miffed if I were you as well!
I have to agree with this, and honestly how much work are the cats and fish? I understand that there is more than just the kids in the house, but I don't think that the cats and fish really add to your work load. Yes a puppy is more work, but so would another child. Do they have to discuss with you if they wanted another child? I don't think that's your place, accept the new responsibility or move on.
Exactly this.
You have two options in my opinion - do it or find a new job.
I get that sentiment, but she's a CHILD care employee. A puppy does not fall in the realm of normal nanny duties.
Was there ever a written contract outlining your duties? Were you responsible for the care of their other pets?
My nanny family has brought up getting a dog multiple times, and, because I can speak frankly with them, I told them honestly that my one on one time with their special needs child and the toddler that needs an excessive amount of attention (which is a product of their own creation, but that's another story lol) would suffer if I were trying to train a puppy on top of it all, and that I truly felt it was not a good time for them to add that kind of chaos to the mix. I offered to play taxi if they were willing to do even part-time doggy daycare, but told them I couldn't in good faith take on the added responsibility and still do my initial job as well. They actually agreed and said they hadn't even thought that far ahead into it.
The 8 year old is in 3rd grade so is gone for most of the day, then 3 days per week has afternoon activities. The 4.5 yr old is in part time preschool, but it's in the afternoon, 1-4 (when younger sis is napping) so it's not like I can take puppy for a walk during that time or anything. I think you're fine since your two kiddos are starting school, but I would def talk to her about it so she can voice any concerns.
Dealing with MFI, good count, good motility, 3% morph-HSG all clear, all other test results came back normal, IUI is our next step
May 2012- Clomid 50mg + IUI = BFN
June- Cycle Break
July- Forced cycle break due to cysts
August- Femara, Trigger, IUI#2= ?
Really? So your boss can ask you to go scrub the toilets and you'd be ok with that?
Dealing with MFI, good count, good motility, 3% morph-HSG all clear, all other test results came back normal, IUI is our next step
May 2012- Clomid 50mg + IUI = BFN
June- Cycle Break
July- Forced cycle break due to cysts
August- Femara, Trigger, IUI#2= ?
Great ideas! I think we will def have to sit down and outline exactly what I'm responsible for. I just think that when I'm paying attention to puppy, (letting it out, cleaning up accidents, making sure it's staying out of trouble) I'm not paying attention to their kiddos, which I'm paid to do..not sure how to get around that!
Dealing with MFI, good count, good motility, 3% morph-HSG all clear, all other test results came back normal, IUI is our next step
May 2012- Clomid 50mg + IUI = BFN
June- Cycle Break
July- Forced cycle break due to cysts
August- Femara, Trigger, IUI#2= ?
I agree, and I hope this puppy works out long term for them. They are really great people, and I want to help out. I feel as though my work load is already pretty significant though, and I've never trained or had a puppy. We got our dog as a rescue and she was already 1.5 years and through the puppy stage
Dealing with MFI, good count, good motility, 3% morph-HSG all clear, all other test results came back normal, IUI is our next step
May 2012- Clomid 50mg + IUI = BFN
June- Cycle Break
July- Forced cycle break due to cysts
August- Femara, Trigger, IUI#2= ?
ALL OF THIS! Prior to our girls, we were a foster home for a local rescue so I see the same thing happening. A puppy is just as much work as an additional baby. Absolutely wrong to not discuss it with you first!!!
We are also considering getting a puppy (not now, but in the future), so I read all of the responses with interest. While I certainly don't plan on asking our nanny's permission to get a dog, I do plan on discussing what the additional responsibilities will entail to make sure she's on board.
By the time we get a puppy, DS will be older and likely in nursery school a few hours a day. While I agree that childcare is her primary responsibility, there will be several hours of downtime where she will be getting paid to do nothing. So, I kind of feel like it's not unreasonable to ask her to walk the puppy and take on some puppy responsibilities. I know she likes dogs and we do plan on puppy kindergarten.
I sort of feel like it's a great time to get a puppy, because with two working people in a family, how else would the puppy get the attention and exercise it needs during the day? I'm pretty sure companies aren't offering puppy maternity leave.
This post is interesting and it makes me glad I am not a nanny. If my employeer asked me to do something outside of my field of work (example handle all of HR for our group when I am a communications manager and I know little about HR) I would not agree and legally he could not fire me for saying no because it was not in my job duties when he hired me. A childcare provider is that provides childcare is not a pet sitter. I agree that the family does not need to ask the nanny's permission to purchase a pet, but they need to consult the person to see if he or she is willing to take care of the pet, unless they intend on crating the pet the same way most working couples do when no one is home. A nanny is hired to take care of children and sometimes additional duties that are agreed upon when hiring the person a family shouldn't assume the nanny is also going to take care of/train a puppy and in reality that is what the nanny is doing if asked to care for a puppy . Additionally, labs are a handful they chew, are large are often hyper during the puppy stage.
"And all other duties as assigned." Most job descriptions have this included to avoid this type of stand-off. Your employer can change the scope of your job at any time - unless you have a contract with the company.
Just sayin'.
My twins are 5! My baby is 3!
DS#2 - Allergic to Cashew, Pistachio, Kiwi
DS#3 - Allergic to Milk, Egg, Peanut, Tree Nuts and Sesame
I think I need to clarify a few things. I never said I wanted them to have my permission, I just thought since I will be the one in the home 10 hrs per day, they would of wanted to sit down and discuss it with me before making the decision. That's all. They had a baby during my employment and I was ecstatic for them, but then again I'm a nanny, and I know babies and kids, I know nothing about raising a puppy!
Also, I do have a contract in place that outlines my duties, and caring for their animals is not in there.
Dealing with MFI, good count, good motility, 3% morph-HSG all clear, all other test results came back normal, IUI is our next step
May 2012- Clomid 50mg + IUI = BFN
June- Cycle Break
July- Forced cycle break due to cysts
August- Femara, Trigger, IUI#2= ?
They would not have to inform me of their trying to conceive a child, they would inform me after she's already pregnant, (which did happen during this employment) but yes, I did get a raise when their 3rd child was born, because my work load increased.
Dealing with MFI, good count, good motility, 3% morph-HSG all clear, all other test results came back normal, IUI is our next step
May 2012- Clomid 50mg + IUI = BFN
June- Cycle Break
July- Forced cycle break due to cysts
August- Femara, Trigger, IUI#2= ?
I agree with all of this.
A child and a puppy are not the same! I got a raise when their 3rd child was born..it's not that they HAVE to discuss it with me, it's that they SHOULD want to discuss things of this nature with me, since I am running their household 10 hours per day..
Dealing with MFI, good count, good motility, 3% morph-HSG all clear, all other test results came back normal, IUI is our next step
May 2012- Clomid 50mg + IUI = BFN
June- Cycle Break
July- Forced cycle break due to cysts
August- Femara, Trigger, IUI#2= ?
We don't employ a nanny but if we did, there is no way in hell I would assume that her responsibilities would include caring for and training a puppy. If it was explicitly agreed to up front, that's one thing, but it's very unfair of them to casually assume you're comfortable with and willing (without even being asked!) to care for their animals, too. You're perfectly and reasonably within your rights to speak up and say you love caring for the kids but you didn't sign on to caring for a puppy!
I agree. A puppy does not equal another child/new baby in terms of job duties. I don't even believe they are in the same realm of job duties/description. And I would never, ever, in a million years adopt a puppy and expect the nanny to know how to handle a puppy. The only way I would NOT involve the nanny in this decision was if I had completely set up care for the puppy (so a dogwalker, trainer, etc) and the nanny just had to co-exist with the puppy...not be responsible for the care for it at all.
I supervise people, and we don't add extra responsibilities without adding extra benefits. And making sure they have the resources they need to handle those extra tasks.
My big concern -- knowing puppies -- would be liability. When they make a mess, destroy things, etc, you can't be held responsible. You can't supervise both the dog and the children.
This is a big deal, IMO.
I would not expect our nanny to have done pet care with the exception of letting her out as needed.
Like all companies my job also has other duties as assigned but it has to be related to what the employee was hired to do or at least that is what the labor lawyers told us in our manager training. So I can have my employee do anything related to comms, such as internal even though she was hired for external, but I can't ask her to be a security rep. or an HR professional in addition to her current job because she was not hired to do either of those jobs and they are not part of our job family within communications, even though my company does have those positions. I work for a very large company so maybe they are being overly cautious to avoid being sued I don?t know.
Back the train up, you are "running the household"... May I ask when you started to pay the bills, or do repairs on the house? Do you buy groceries, meal plan, and scrub the bathroom (to name a few)? You are an employee and you are taking care of a PART of this household, I think you have over stepped your employer employee relationship and you need to back up. I am very pro employee (I know that's not a term, but we are VERY generous to our au pair, he has told us many times that his other au pair friends are jealous that he has such a good family) but you are starting to sound more like you are entitled to make family decisions with every response that you post.
You are complaining that they did not discuss getting the puppy with you, yet it's not like you showed up one day at work and they said "here's our new puppy" so they DID discuss it with you, just not before they purchased the dog (much like they discussed another child with you AFTER they got pregnant).
Obviously children and puppies aren't the same thing, I am using them as examples to show you that as an employee you do not get a vote in family decisions, you get informed as to what the new duties will entail (if that includes a raise so be it) and you decide to take it or move on.
I'd just like to point out "caring for" and "training" a puppy are two very different things (which is why you should ask what they expect you to do). If you worked for me I would expect you to feed and walk the puppy when needed (I would provide the schedule) and the rest of the time the puppy would be in the crate. If I had a fenced in yard I might ask to let the puppy our for a while, but I don't so that would be a no go. People who work all day do crate their dogs, so again I don't see how this puppy is going to be a HUGE burden on you.
Another kid would mean they would pay her more.
Hmm, I guess it depends on what kind of nanny you have. When I was a nanny-I did do all of the meal planning, grocery shopping, and cleaned the areas that the kids and I were in. I also scheduled and took the kids to all of their appointments and such---so, I guess it depends on the situation.
So sorry, I must have missed where you posted that you PAID THE BILLS because unless you do, you do not run the household (things like lights and heat don't work unless you pay for them). I would be offended if my in home care provider thought that he/she was running my household. If this is they way most nannies feel, I'm glad I don't have one. What a sense of entitlement, I'm guessing you thought that you "raised their kids for them" too.