How to encourage responsibility?

CalinsBride

My DS, who just turned three, does not want to take responsibility for things. He can be very independent, but only in terms of the things he's decided to be independent about. He wants to pour his own drinks, get his own food, walk down the stairs by himself, open his own car door, etc, but he will not brush his own teeth, dress/undress himself, clean up after himself without a major battle, use the potty, etc. It is very frustrating for me.

 He is a spirited child who is always into everything, and I feel like giving him tasks to accomplish should help keep him out of trouble and improve his self esteem. But I don't know how to get him to be responsible because he just doesn't want to. Any advice? I'm so annoyed and I don't understand what his problem is.

Kaeldrasmommy

I think it would be good to start with little things like having him pick up his toys before a meal, telling him that you'll snuggle together to watch a movie when he breath smells good, etc.

CalinsBride

fredalina:

So he's choosing the things that he MUST do to not do? Typical! Lol. Try giving him some choices about the things he must do, like whether to use the red toothbrush or the blue one, the strawberry toothpaste or the mint one, etc etc. Try making a bedtime chart that shows each step in order and have him help, then have him tell you what comes next when he gets stuck on something.

 Yeah, I know lol. I see it as a personal affront that he only wants to do things I don't actually need him to do I like the chart idea, I am planning on making him one and I hope he follows it. I think if I tie a reward to the end (ie, we do our bedtime routine and then we can read stories) it might help.

nosoup4u

Three sucked real hard for my older son. Asking what he wanted to do first, doing "races", using a timer and just helping him sort of worked. But in all honesty, him turning four was the best solution, siiigh. Hang in there!!