For those with 2 (or 2nd on the way..)

MrsBraun

How far apart are your kids? Did you find it to be a big adjustment and do you like the ages that they are at?

 We are using a surrogate and will *hopefully* be pregnant within the next 6 months and now I'm freaking a little about having another newborn. However, my DD will be over 3 so I have to keep that in mind too (she will be a little more independent).

Opinions on spacing and/or adjusting to 2 children?

MrsBraun

ashleysyn2:

Way way way off topic, since I only have one, but I'm interested in the surrogacy part.  I see you're in Ontario (I'm in MB).  Are you using a surrogate you know, or did you find someone through an agency?  Has it been a fairly simple process?

I apologize if these questions are too personal.  You don't have to answer if you don't want to!  I wish you the best of luck and hope it happens soon!

Hey! We actually are using a surrogate in MB! We found her online on SurrogateMother.com - so far everything has been easy as pie but I'm sure things will get complicated with travelling and all (she is travelling down here once a month for a week at a time to TTC) If you have any more questions I would be happy to answer

MrsBraun

car seat:

We're still working on our second, but I just wanted to wish you luck in the coming months! 

Thanks so much!

michaels_girl

Good luck to you!  I could not have handled having kids close together in age, thus my spacing.  my older sis is 5 years older, and youngers are 4 years younger.  I like that spacing, I'm very close with all of them.  DH's brother is nearly an irish twin to him, and they hardly talk.  Kiddo is SOO excited about having a sibling.  I know that she will be a big help, and she is very independent now. 

MrsBraun

michaels_girl:

Good luck to you!  I could not have handled having kids close together in age, thus my spacing.  my older sis is 5 years older, and youngers are 4 years younger.  I like that spacing, I'm very close with all of them.  DH's brother is nearly an irish twin to him, and they hardly talk.  Kiddo is SOO excited about having a sibling.  I know that she will be a big help, and she is very independent now. 

I like that spacing - you're right, they can get so much more excited and involved in the pregnancy when they're a bit older. Congrats on your pregnancy and all the best!

kcisthebombdotcom

My kids are 12.5 months apart. I didn't feel like there was any adjustment period at all. When my DD came, my son was far more interested in exploring than being held so he couldn't have cared less I sat and held a baby all day. They're 2.5 and 1.5 now and are attached at the hip. My DD sits and cries outside the bathroom door when my DS is going poop-- they're literally addicted to each other. lol. My son mothers her and redirects her when she gets into something she shouldn't. They are hysterical and so much fun right now.

Regardless of spacing, my biggest piece of advice is involve your older child as much as you can. Even at 1 I'd have my son grab a diaper or wipe and praise him for helping. He'd help me burp the baby. I also used a carrier a lot so I could wear baby when she needed snuggles but still be able to get on the floor and play.

JPinkman

My brother and I are 1 year 3 months apart.  I thought it was great growing up and my parents had no complaints.

DD will be 2 years 5 months when LO#2 is born.  I am hopeful that this spacing will be good.  DD should be moving into a big girl bed, hopefully potty trained and past serious teething issues - which means we will hopefully only have to deal with one in diapers and not sleeping. 

Kadyra

I am 8 and 11 years younger than my brothers.  We were all incredibly close growing up, and I don't feel like I missed out on a special bond or anything.  I feel like the age gap is a bit excessive, and it wasn't exactly planned. 

The AAP suggests, based on their studies, not to conceive #2 until #1 is at least 18 months old.  This is to ensure that the mother's body and mineral stores are completely recovered, and supposedly it ensures that LO is at a mental state that he or she can handle the disruption of a new sibling.

 DS1 just turned 3 on Friday and seems excited about the baby and being a helper.  For us, we didn't start discussing TTC #2 until DS1 was 18 months old.  I had a very rough pregnancy involving bed rest and a lot of stress over DS1's IUGR.  So we went back and forth over having a second.  And then I got a medical diagnosis that could affect the heart of any baby we had, so... Lots of discussing.  We were "not preventing" for about a year before we actually TTC and got pregnant the first cycle.  According to my due date, DS1 would be 3 and 2 1/2 months, but as I'm currently in the hospital for my fabulously bleeding previa, DS2 could come at any moment.  Unless we get a birth control failure in the future, we're done.  But if by some temporary insanity on my part, we'd wait 18 months again before TTC.

synchrosally

We're KU with #2 right now and ours will be just under 3 years. I think it's perfect timing for us. I hope to have DS potty trained by the time this LO arrives, he'll be talking much more and I think he'll be a big help (I hope ha). 

PeonyPumps

I am currently pregnant with baby #2 right now, and DS will be just over one month shy of 2 years old at her due date.  

We are obviously not there yet, so I can't speculate how the spacing will be just yet, but if I had to guess, I'd say it really depends on the child.  My DS is SUCH a good helper, with everything.  Last night we were putting together furniture, and he wanted to be right there with me and was actually putting dowels into peg holes, waiting until I hammered it in, putting another one in, waiting, etc.  Then this morning he "helped" me do laundry by carrying one piece of clothing at a time from the dryer into the living room while I folded.  He just really wants to help out, and I think that if I continue to provide him little 'jobs' like he has now, he will be okay with the transition, because being needed makes him very happy.  But again, I'm not there yet, so who knows how he will actually react.  I think it just depends on your child/children. 

FrickandFrack

My kids will be 3 years and almost 3 months apart.  I think it is a perfect age because DS1 actually seems interested in another baby and constantly talks, kisses and rubs my belly.