are you overwhelmed?

megann831

I don't really belong here, my LOs are 26 months apart, but I feel like it's a pretty good age gap.  There have been rough times, but overall it's pretty good.  I love how much fun DD has with DS, and now that he's smiling at her I love to see how much she loves it.  There have also been times when I have to put him in a bouncy seat to feed him because she flips out if I'm holding him, especially if she's just woken up.  She also is somewhat back on bottles because when he has one she wants one, although it's not as bad as it was when he was 1st born.  I really think the good has over come the bad, but sometimes when I see a woman pregnant w/ #2 and #1 is still really young I think to myself that poor lady has no idea what she has gotten herself into.

I think you make what ever your situation is work, but do you ever think you had #2 too soon?  if so what is the age gap? 

MammaBear81

Mine are about 18 months apart and it is the perfect spacing for us. We were lucky enough to be able to ditch the bottles at one year so by the time the next one came around they didn't really remember or care about the bottle (I also BF while I was home so that cut down on the number of bottles too).  Everyone handles things differently, I like that my kids were really too young to be jealous of each other and they don't really remember a time when there was just one of them.  Athey each get one on one time, but they are used to having others around, and taking turns, even at an early age.  I'm not saying that my life is all puppie and rainbows, I know my day has gone to pot on more than one occasion, but don't think I ever felt overwhelmed.

moonfaerie

I currently feel overwhelmed, but that is due to having a three month old who is just growing out of colic. I'm beginning to see the light at the end of that tunnel. When, I only had two, I rarely felt overwhelmed by the kids, for the same reasons as MamaBear. My first two are 14 months apart. We had no jealousy issues, no weaning from the bottle or regression issues. The transition to two kids was much easier than I anticipated. Of course there were moments where I wanted to hide in a corner but overall I know I had it easy and am grateful for that. My oldest is a very laid-back, easy-going baby (person?!) and we were pleasantly surprised that she didn't mind sharing her parents.

smerka

Mine are just over 11 months apart.  There are days I am overwhelmed.  My second was a surprise, but I don't know that we would have had a second if we hadn't gotten surprised.  My older son has a kidney issue and a speech delay just to add to the fun.  While its hard, I think 2U1 has been easier in a lot of ways.  

kcisthebombdotcom

No, not with 2u2. My son was too young to be jealous and we didn't notice any regression or acting out due to the baby being born at all. My son was off the bottle 2 weeks before his sister was born and never went back. He never got jealous if I held or tended to the baby. Of course we've had bad days/weeks when they were both sick or something, but overall I wouldn't call it overwhelming.

I also think the stage you're in is the easiest part of 2u2. I think 2 toddlers is way more challenging than an infant and a toddler.

mrsseguin

My kids are 25 months apart.  DH and I have had a very hard time going from 1-2 kids.  We both work FT, opposite shifts as well.  It was hard for about the first 4-6 months.  I adjusted a lot quicker than DH. He can still get pretty overwhelmed at times.  Now that the kids are a bit older, it's MUCH better.  We do go back and forth about #3...

TMNTgirl

Erecare definitely days when I feel overwhelmed. But that's because I have a 4 week old in general. Overall I'm less overwhelmed that when I only had one newborn. 0 to 1 was a really hard transition for us. 1 to 2 hasn't been 100 easy for us, but at least I know that it will get better / easier in a few months and j can keep telling myself that when I have a hard day.

Daisy22

I was a little overwhelmed when ds2 was a newborn and I had a 15mth old. It was busy but it only lasted the first few months then it was great. I love watching them together. There was never any jealous or regression but ds1 was off bottles by 12mths and didn't remember any of that once ds2 came. Now with ds3 (20mths between ds2 and ds3)  it's been so easy. Mostly I think it's b/c I'm use to dealing with multi kids now and ds3 just fits in. I can't wait for him to get older and join in with the bigs. And this time like last time there has been no jealous issues or regression.

I still get the your crazy looks or pity looks which makes me laugh. I love my life and I can't imagine not having my boys this close together.

laura1

moonfaerie:

When, I only had two, I rarely felt overwhelmed by the kids, for the same reasons as MamaBear. My first two are 14 months apart. We had no jealousy issues, no weaning from the bottle or regression issues. The transition to two kids was much easier than I anticipated. Of course there were moments where I wanted to hide in a corner but overall I know I had it easy and am grateful for that. 

This is the same for me, except my first 2 are 15months apart.  DS never really had an issue with DD - he was curious but didn't have any regression and after a week or so didn't seem at all bothered by her presence.  It was just a new normal for him.  

I am a bit worried about the spacing between #2 and #3 this time - DD will be 2.5 and DS will be almost 4 when this one comes.  DD is much more aware of what is going on than DS was when she arrived.  I am definitely worried about jealousy issues!  B

ut, my first 2 are best buds, and in many ways it is easier since they do everything together being so close in age.  The other day we were talking about DS going to Kindergarten at a new school (they both go to a pre-school/daycare now) when he is 5.  He was very concerned that he would have to go by himself without his sister!   Sometimes I think he was meant to be the younger one - DD is much more of the leader when they are together!

biblionerd

Nah, I was for a while,  but we went into it expecting chaos. It's been fine for a while now. DS was 11 months when she was born and he also was too young to be jealous. 

delg23

Mine are 17 months apart. Sometimes I think they are too close, other times I don't think so. I'm not overwhelmed generally speaking but there are rough days.

FormerlyKrista555

There have been moments where I've been overwhelmed,  but overall, I am very happy with the 20 month gap  between my children.

I think the only thing that's surprised me is that DH and I both have separately thought "Maybe we don't want 4 kids afterall".  lol    We originally thought 4 was the magic number, and now after having 2, we're starting to wonder if 2 is better. I'm banking that we'll change our minds when DS is less dependent.

okate0213

My two boys are 18 months apart. At home there is a good flow and I dont feel overwhelmed. Even when I'm out with both by myself it's not bad. I'm constantly thinking ahead, I guess it's the planner inside of me of how and what would be the best way to do things to not have meltdowns or to make the situation go well.

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ldlima

Mine are 28 months apart. 2 comes home from the hospital this week and I'm getting a little anxious. Is there a schedule of any kind or is it more about just staying afloat? Any advice?