Heartbreak You Can't Do Anything About

mschocokitty

SD's mother drove down last Sunday and spent less than 24 hours with her before returning her to us. They had not seen each other since Christmas. Despite knowing that school starts on Tuesday, she put off her trip until last weekend. When SD returned Monday, she was a little upset because she realized she misses her mom (understandably). SD said BM promised she would stop by again before leaving on Friday. Last night SD was just playing and hanging out in her room when I heard her crying. She said she wasn't going to see her mom again even though BM promised her she would. I didn't know what to say since I was already silently wondering about BM. It was heartbreaking to see that SD already knows BM doesn't follow through on things. All I could do was explain that sometimes people have good intentions that don't work out and promise her that if DH hears anything, she would know. This felt like absolutely lame comfort, but none of the other things I really wanted to say would be appropriate.  As of this morning, DH had not heard a word from BM about stopping by again. I don't really have a question, but perhaps other SMs understand this feeling of being totally impotent at making things better. It sucks. 

Holly_1007

no advice but I think you handled it well. 

FutureMrsWittig

I think all good parents understand the feeling of being completely incapable of making everything alright.

When my SDs mom flakes out and she gets upset, her counselor has told me not to make excuses for her mother (I used to all the time and she was starting to see through me).  She said to tell her I'm so sorry she's hurt.  She said to tell her I love her.  She said to tell her basically what I will tell her the first time a boy breaks her heart, that she deserves to be treated well, that she is a good person, that there is nothing wrong with her.

mschocokitty

FutureMrsWittig:

I think all good parents understand the feeling of being completely incapable of making everything alright.

When my SDs mom flakes out and she gets upset, her counselor has told me not to make excuses for her mother (I used to all the time and she was starting to see through me).  She said to tell her I'm so sorry she's hurt.  She said to tell her I love her.  She said to tell her basically what I will tell her the first time a boy breaks her heart, that she deserves to be treated well, that she is a good person, that there is nothing wrong with her.

Thank you. That is really good advice that I will keep in mind.   

mschocokitty

FutureMrsWittig:

I think all good parents understand the feeling of being completely incapable of making everything alright.

When my SDs mom flakes out and she gets upset, her counselor has told me not to make excuses for her mother (I used to all the time and she was starting to see through me).  She said to tell her I'm so sorry she's hurt.  She said to tell her I love her.  She said to tell her basically what I will tell her the first time a boy breaks her heart, that she deserves to be treated well, that she is a good person, that there is nothing wrong with her.

Thank you. That is really good advice that I will keep in mind.   

Littlejen22

How old is SD

mschocokitty

She is 11.