Cremation? Ashes?

cmenasco

This may be a weird question, but I'm not sure what I want to do and would love some other input on what other moms with late losses have done if you don't mind sharing.  We lost our little girl at 26 weeks and choose to have her cremated.  My DH and I are very outdoorsy people and do a lot of backpacking (or did before we had our DS1).  We wanted to go camping at some point with just the two of us and spread her ashes somewhere beautiful, peaceful and special to us.  

My concern is that if I spread all of her ashes am I going to regret it and not have any part of her left with me.  Will I one day have a break down and freak out cause I don't have any saved?  Part of me wants to keep a little bit with me, then then I freak out about having to seperate the ashes....sorry if this seems TMI or cold.

Another concern is that if we go somewhere hrs away from home (a lake we use to go to is a 4.5 hr drive and 2 hr hike) and I want to visit this area, it's too far for a quick trip for special dates, EDD etc.  If I'm having a bad day and want to visit, it would be too far away.   

 I might be crazy thinking about these things but I haven't seen a post like this, so not sure what people have done.  Thanks

Heatherhah

If you wanted to spread some of her ashes you of course can. I have some of my DD's ashes in a necklace that I wear everyday. As does my DH , DS and My DD#1.We also have her urn in our living room we won't be spreading her ashes I just can't. But you could ask the Funeral home to maybe separate the ashes that way not all of them are going to be spread if you feel more comfortable. I know our funeral home put the ashes in the urn jewelry for us. Just a suggestion.

Heather

medblais

*ticker warning*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MH and I chose to have our daughter cremated because we currently live in TX and do not plan on staying. If we had buried her and moved, I would feel like we abandoned her. This is the same reason we are not spreading her ashes. Her ashes are in a small urn that actually has her picture on the outside, and the urn sits on our mantle. I see her every day, and I feel her body will always be with her family, wherever we end up.

ILoveRedVino

We chose to have him cremated with the intention of spreading his ashes. However, as we have started looking at options for locations, it has become very obvious to me that there is no way we will end up doing it. His ashes are all I will have of him and I can't part with them. I know this makes me sound crazy, but I plan to keep the ashes until I die, and then have them buried with me. I may change my mind in time, but now, I need them for me.

jlcrhw

I aslo have a necklace like Heather with my daughter's ashes. Letting going of her ashes seems unbearable to me right now. However DH and I have talked about spreading some of her ashes with MIL's ashes. We are saving for a trip to Hawaii to spread MIL ashes. I feel better knowing that our daughter would be with family if we released her ashes.

JonesBaby0624

My bf and I lost our first daughter September 2011.  We planted a small memorial flower bed on a small island close to his family's lake house where it would be private (not many people go to the little island).  We intend to spread some of Vivian's ashes in this flower bed next time we go sailing.  I don't know if I want to spread all of them. 

MrsRichMT

We had DS cremated.  MH mentioned at some point spreading the ashes and/or getting cremation necklaces to put some of the ashes in, but I just couldn't stand the idea of parting with the only part I have of my baby, and I didn't want to separate the ashes.  So we picked out the perfect little urn and it's on a shelf in the living room.  I plan to frame an u/s pic to put with it, as well as a framed picture of his Sunset. 

 It's a very personal choice though, and if you feel best spreading her ashes, then by all means spread them, but there's no rush to decide.  Take the time to make sure you make the right choice for you!

jbranden12

We chose to keep Patricia at home with us. DH is not from the US and we do not know where we will end up, but I couldn't stand the thought of leaving her somewhere. We have her ashes in a small silver box that is engraved on the top and has pictures on all four sides. It is in our living room and every once in a while I turn it so I can look at a different picture for a while.