Not much support really

Elizabeth043086

I was curious about how open your hospital was about letting you do what you needed to do during labor and delivery. With ds I went natural (minus pitocin, but whatever). I felt like I argued with the nurse the whole 16 hours. She wouldn't let me up. She just wanted me to lay there on my back the whole time . I really felt the need to be on my hands in knees. I finally got my way on this. I kept taking the bp cuff off it hurt. The fetal monitors hurt. She absolutely wouldn't let me push in any position except laying down. I was so frustrated by my birth experience because no one would listen to me and my body was telling me what to do. Now there are no midwives/birth centers in my area, so not an option. I'm just stressed this time around because it's going to be the same way again. I talked to by ob the other day and his tone was "we really don't give a *** what you want, we do what we do, tough luck" He told me a birth plan was a bad idea because they always fail. What a prick. Gahhhhh. It's times like this I wished I lived somewhere where there were options. So I'm just curious. Are all hospitals like this?  It's frustrating not getting the support I'd like to have.  Sure they are all for natural, but they aren't for me.  THey don't care about the patient at all.  My birth was a beautiful experience, but I'm just stressed out this time because I know I don't get to do what I need to to make it easier. 

RockyMtnMama

Do you have friends or family who could come along so you have support at least from them?  You know a pushy girlfriend who has had a natural birth or two and can act like a doula or just help you get into better positions.  Plus, maybe waiting longer to get to the hospital so you can labor mostly on your own terms - granted only if you don't need pitocin again. 

So sorry, nobody should have to deal with this, but I understand b/c I moved from a major metro area with lots of birth choices to a smaller rural area with only one hospital (that has some crazy policies) and feel like it's so much harder this time around. 

BBhopes15

I would see if I could find a more supportive doctor. I am a FTM so no experience but our child class instructor mentioned to me that the hospital I plan to birth in does better if I have something in writing approved by OB (ie. birth plan) so this is what I plan to do: check what the hospital policies are and what they will be willing to let me do and then try to get an ok from doctor about other stuff like walking around, different birthing positions etc. I also have every intention to find another OB if he is not supportive. GL. I am sorry you have such limited options and have to deal with this.

sbevmc09

I feel like hospitals tend to be more rigid with their "policies" and of course each individual nurse is going to have a different attitude about things, but what's really important is your provider because they're calling the shots.  If you have a supportive provider they will tell you it's fine not to be hooked up to a bunch of machines, labor how you want, push how you want, etc.  It's still possible that you may run in to a stubborn nurse that will try to get you to do things how the hospital likes it done, but a supportive provider really makes a difference. 

Since you already know you might be facing opposition and you don't have many options a doula would be a great resource for you.  At least then you will have someone there to advocate on your behalf rather than trying to deal with it yourself while laboring.

ChavayJakov

I second getting a doula. 

And do your research on which hospitals in your area allow you the most freedoms, and what OBs are working with them.

Every hospital, as has been mentioned, has policies that they enforce (sometimes militantly).  You won't know how loosey-goosey a nurse will be with them, or how many shifts you might stay during labor (meaning you might have a cooperative nurse but a non-cooperative nurse following), or when your OB will show up.  mine missed the birth completely...

I labored for an hour or so at the hosptial and came in pretty much pushing.  This particular hospital allowed for women, unmedicated, to walk around and have monitoring done every hour for 15 minutes.  I didn't have any of that and STILL had to push for the delivery I wanted.  I was never monitored and was in the position that I wanted to be in.  I was *nonresponsive* to any staff that tried to talk me into or chastise me into "doing what was best for the baby" (i.e.: laboring on my back though I was having back labor {eyeroll}).  The doula was the mouth-piece for us at that point as my husband was helping to support me.  Because I was ignoring them (they seriously just didn't exist in my head, LOL) there was nothing really that they could do.

 

robyn2201

Can you switch OB's? Someone else that delivers at the same hospital? If possible I would do that. Also, consider hiring a doula. Stay home as long as possible when you do go into labor. Less time at the hospital means less time that they can introduce interventions. When you check in request a nurse that likes working with patients that want a natural childbirth. GL!

ridesbuttons

That sounds terrible.  My hospital experiences were good with the staff making suggestions about position, showers, massage, whatever.

If you want to get on your hands and knees, what are they going to do?  Call the cops?  Throw you out?

Sounds like a doula is in order for you.

Celyn

Hugs to you.  I'm sorry you had a such an aggravating experience with your care providers.  I'd run screaming from an OB who told me all birth plans fail.  Clearly, they often when birth providers refuse to allow birth to happen naturally, its own time.  That's so frustrating.  I hope you have a better experience this time.

sschwege

sweettalkin417:

Can you switch OB's? Someone else that delivers at the same hospital? If possible I would do that. Also, consider hiring a doula. Stay home as long as possible when you do go into labor. Less time at the hospital means less time that they can introduce interventions. When you check in request a nurse that likes working with patients that want a natural childbirth. GL!

All of this!  

At the very least you will not have the same nurse as last time so that should help considering it sounds like they don't get much worse than her.   

footnotegirl

The hospital where I gave birth has a whole floor dedicated to labor and delivery, and they have set the whole thing up to help women give birth how they want to. The floor is built in a circle with big handrails lining it specifically so that women can walk without getting lost or having to turn around, and have something to hang onto during contractions. I did have to have an IV and wear monitors (high risk and induction) but the pole was mobile and they put me on wireless monitors so I could move around at will. 

There was a birthing ball and a squat bar in my room, and I was not only allowed to but frequently suggested to use them. On the last day, when I was on Pitocin, they made sure that I got the nurse who had been a midwife assigned to me. She basically insisted that I get in the tub for transition.

They did try to tell me that I had to do the final pushing with the OB on my back, but when I started pushing I basically levered myself up to sitting and they didn't say anything, what were they going to do, strap me down?

However, I did have the full support not only of my doctor, but also my perinatologist practice because due to the particular complications I brought with me (blood thinners, allergic to Lidocaine), the LAST thing anyone wanted was to have to do a c-section on me, and keeping it as natural as possible was the best way to keep that from happening.