New job, 17 wks, when should tell I'm pregnant?!

gracerain

Well, I interviewed for a job when I was merely 7 weeks pregnant.  After having 2 miscarriages in the past, I was still in the frightening stage of pregnancy.  The interviews went really, really well.  The recruiter let me know that there was very positive feedback and that they would be in touch within 7-10 days.  Well, a couple of months went by and still nothing.  Then, I received a phone call last Fri with a solid offer for the job!  I was ecstatic!  AND 17 weeks pregnant! This is the "ideal" job: work from home and I am highly qualified. Also, they offered a substantial amt of money- more than what I am making right now. No brainer, right?!  So, I accepted. But, I did not tell them I am pregnant. I did not want to jeopardize this position by allowing them to discriminate against me because I am pregnant. I have the credentials and plan to work up to delivery and then thereafter; however, I will need some time off for the delivery. They offer 3 weeks vacation beginning start of employment (10 hour accrual each month), so I need to discuss receiving this in January 2013. I understand that I will not qualify for FMLA since not being there for a year. I have not met my manager yet as the job was offered by a recruiter for the company (huge, global company). I want to make sure my background check is complete before I bring this up, so as to not allow them to come back with an excuse for not hiring me (I spoke with the background check company and they said it would take a couple of days to wrap up the calls). Should I contact the recruiter in a couple of days and say that I have a "planned event" in January which I need to discuss with  my manager?  That I need to discuss time off?  This situation is so sticky. I decided not to disclose being pregnant when the offer was made to me bc I did not want to shoot myself in the foot.  Plus, after doing research, I learned that I'm not required to say anything about being pregnant. What to do now?  Thanks for ANY feedback!

Orange and Green

When I took my current job, during the interview process I gave a contingency that I would be allowed to take 4 weeks vacation to tour Europe with my family (the dates were already fixed).  Their policy was no more than 2 wks at a time for a single vacation.  You could certainly try to negotiate a 3 week leave with them.  Should you go into labor early or need to go on bedrest, your job may not be secure  

verybusymomto4

Well I use to work from home and my pregnancy never got in the way. As a matter of fact, i was able to work when I felt like it after the baby was born. Like when she was sleeping I would go online and work, even just for 2 hours. Then when she went to bed at night, I would log on and work for a bit. I did have 2 weeks off, but i choose to work during nap time.
If you should happen to have to go on bed rest, use a laptop. I really dont see why they would have a issue with you being pg since you are working from home. Most wfh companies are really flexible. But of course every company is different.

benniferbaby

I had a similar situation. Interviewed while 14 weeks or so - still much too early, given our IF history, to be making disclosures to anyone, least of all a prospective boss. I got the job at just around 20 weeks. My plan was to keep it quiet at least until 28 weeks - I was able to hide it really well. However, at about 2 weeks in, I realized that the job I'd taken (internal audit) is SUPER focused on scheduling, and my boss was trying to schedule me for a week-long training course in CA right around my due date, so I had to come clean. I was extremely nervous because I felt it hadn't been long enough for me to "prove myself" to them, but it would have been really unfair to play along and then surprise them all later.

Well, everything turned out so much better than I could have expected. My boss actually told me to "never apologize for being a woman" and seemed really excited about the baby. It is a small department, comprised of all women, and they are all amazing support - they even threw me a shower a few weeks ago. Also? I get half pay during short-term disability, and they allow 16 weeks leave under FMLA even though I don't technically qualify under the law. It's a family-friendly company and that's their policy.

Obviously that is best-case scenario and it won't happen for everyone, but you hit the nail on the head when you said you're not obligated to tell them. That is correct. You have 5 months to go and there is little chance that anyone will guess your secret since you'll be working from home. My opinion is that you should start the job, get to know who you're working with, and most importantly - make every attempt to prove yourself as the right person for the job - before you say anything. Yes they are prohibited from discriminating against you in the hiring process if they discover you're pregnant - but once you're an employee they can come up with any random excuse if they're upset about this. However, if you show them that they made the right choice hiring you ... even if they're disappointed, they're far less likely to fire you (using a valid excuse). Particularly since you won't have given them one. 

I know it seems a little like cheating but honestly, we didn't even share the news with friends until we were 20 weeks. If I'd been at a job long-term, I wouldn't have shared the news either. It is no one's business but your own. Yes, your employer needs to know that you'll be unavailable briefly but you ARE entitled to a life outside of work and you are not in any way obligated to tell them that you're pregnant at this stage. I wouldn't discuss it with the headhunter because - think about it - who pays the headhunter? His/her allegiance is most likely to the paycheck, which means the employer, and not you. This is a matter for you to discuss with your boss, at the right time. Which I strongly believe is NOT now.

Sorry for being so long-winded but this is an important issue and I'd hate to see a woman short-changing herself.

Good luck!

Steph_NJ

I think you did the right thing by not saying anything. It sounds like a great opportunity and you don't want to jeopardize it.

I interviewed for a job with my old company last December, then was brought in for a second interview in April. I found out I was pregnant at the end of May, and a couple of weeks later they started to background and reference checks and made me an offer. I was 6 weeks pg. I just went ahead and accepted it -- I figured it was too early to say anything about it and I'd sort it out with my boss later on (I'd worked for him before). It was a great offer -- 40% more than I was making, 18 vac days, pension + 401(k), and I'd be able to work from home a few days a week.

I finally started working at 10 weeks pregnant, and was showing. By 13 weeks I'd had a few people ask me about my pregnancy, so I bit the bullet and told my boss. He was good about it, but definitely caught off guard. It was a little awkward.

I'll be able to take off as much time as I want but won't get any paid time. So we're saving up and I'll figure out how much time I can afford vs want to take, then will set it up with HR.

There are 2 other women who are pg in my dept, which I don't know makes it better or worse. I'm not the only one -- but that's a lot of work for the other people to cover while we're out.

Adi

MY feedback may be a bit different from others. You should check with your States's labors laws. in many states once they've made an offer you should be able to tell them right away without fear of them retracting the offer because that is descrimination. Given that your interviews were so early on in the pregnancy, that's understandable that you didn't say anything back then. Now you are in your 2nd trimester, which is the most stable. I get waiting until you've started the job, this way you can show them what an awesome employee you are, but I, personally, would NOT wait until the 3rd trimester to start discussing leave with them.