Who are you, and what have you done with BM?

CFjo2010

Apparently BM bought herself concert tickets to a show that is on K?s birthday, and she actually voluntarily offered the extra time to my husband. K?s birthday doesn?t land on our normal time this year (we?ll have her the weekend of her birthday, and then the day after her birthday), but BM asked if we would be able to pick K up from school, keep her overnight and then take her to school the next morning. None of that is a problem since we?re already going to be at the school picking up and dropping off my daughter, so he told her we?d be more then happy to do it. We?re pleasantly surprised that she?s making this arrangement a few months in advance instead of waiting till the last minute per her norm. Then the next shocker: BM asked if that will be too overwhelming for me since the baby should be born right around then. Wow. BM hasn?t acknowledged my pregnancy at all, other then to bash my husband for "hurting " her with it. Now she?s actually being mature and acknowledging that there will in fact be a baby in the house.

My husband and I are both shocked. Maybe turning 30 has caused her to grow up and realize that her game playing is only hurting K. Or maybe Gma told her that she?s not watching K unless we turn down the offer (which is more likely). Even though this is a good thing and (hopefully) a step in the right direction, I feel bad that we?re so surprised that she?s being reasonable. I also feel bad that we?re both waiting for her "trade" that she?s been known to try and spring at the last minute. As much as I?d like to believe that she?s coming around and is willing to actually co-parent, there?s just been too many times where she stopped being reasonable and became even more combative. For now though, we?re just going to try and enjoy the current situation and deal with the changing tide when it happens.

cole2144

Happy for you guys, whatever the reason enjoy it.

FutureMrsWittig

Happy for you!  Cheers to an extra special birthday!

Holly_1007

hopefully you got all this in writing... since its so far in advance I would be very skeptical... but fingers crossed she is just growing up!

CFjo2010

holly71087:

hopefully you got all this in writing... since its so far in advance I would be very skeptical... but fingers crossed she is just growing up!

Already on it!  My husband is sending her an email to confirm the birthday arrangement under the guise of having my MIL out here for it.  She's already going to be out here waiting on the baby to be born, but BM doesn't need to know that  

twister22

Glad that you'll be getting K on her bday! It makes me skeptical as to what BS she has up her sleeve though..

CFjo2010

twister22:

Glad that you'll be getting K on her bday! It makes me skeptical as to what BS she has up her sleeve though..

Oh we're very skeptical.  Like I said, it really sucks that we can't just take a mature gesture as is, but the history is overwhelming.  Truthfully, depending on what she cooks up that she wants in return, we'll probably accomodate it as long as it reasonable.  My husband pulled out the calendar to try and see what she might be angling for coming up, and all we can figure is she either wants to have K for School Picture day (which we're fine with) or she's going to try and switch around days and weekends when it's closer to K's birthday.  I asked my husband how he feels about possibly switching time around K's birthday (we have her the weekend of her birthday, and then the day after in addition to the day BM is giving us so we'll basically have her 5 days straight) and his response was, "My mom is going to be in town, the baby will have just been born, and BM shouldn't have bought tickets to the concert if she wants K during her birthday." and I kind of agree. 

But like I said, we'll see what she wants later. If it's completely reasonable then I'm more then ok with doing it, and hopefully it will open the door a bit more for us all to be more flexible with each other.